Daily Dan

hello again

2011-05-02T12:44:00.002-04:00

so i bet some of u are wondering where ive been. To be completely honest, i really havent been anywhere. I just havent been here.......and i really havent missed it all that much.

so whats new with me? not a whole lot. I turned 20 a week ago, but i still feel like im 18. im not in love with aaron, just got confused when i visited him at his school. it would be a lot easier to not get so confused if he wasnt so nice to me. sometimes i feel like hes the only one who actually gives a shit. but i visited him 3 weeks ago. and i really havent talked to him since.

Work is going well. Since the weather is getting nice there has been an explosion of cute boys. just wonderful. i spend 70% of my time at work drooling over dudes. its very nice. and i got a raise. woot.

sorry its been so long. hopefully ill post more.

anyone want to know anything? ask away.

im still.....

2011-04-20T00:57:00.000-04:00

in love with aaron.

blank

2011-03-15T15:38:00.004-04:00

i took a long drive a few nights ago. it was really foggy and really warm. I thought about a lot of things.

1) How different my life would be if aaron became my boyfriend.

2) I cant decide if im actually happy with my life.

3) I sometimes feel like im not really going to amount to anything.

4) I wish all gay boys wore like this rainbow ring around their fingers. make things much easier.

5) what really is the fucking point?

im in a strange mood. i havent felt this completely....useless...in a long time. i feel like i have no control over anything. no matter what, shit will always happen. with or without me. i dont know folks. i really just dont know.........

2011-01-28T21:00:00.000-05:00

god i would lick this boy all over. purple turns me on so bad.

whats been going on with me?

2011-01-20T09:49:00.003-05:00

boy oh boy. Where did we leave off?

christmas was amazing. got all the shit i wanted and because i have a job, i could afford to buy my family nice gifts. My mom cooked a huge dinner and some relatives came over. i ate way to much. delicious.

new years was great. me and a buch of friends, including aaron, got fucked up and then went to some new years party. had a great time. i think. i dont remember all of it. what i do remember is that when we were in the car on the way home(dont worry, we had a dd) me and aaron were sitting next to each other in the back seat and we were kinda wrestling and his hand kept going toward my dick. and then when we got yelled at to stop, we did, but aaron wouldnt let go of my hand. so for like 10 minutes we were holding hands. i didnt notice right away either. it was nice. but he was fucked up. and i eventually was like "why are u holding my hand?" and he was like "what?! i wasnt!" it was funny. And man does aaron have an ass. best one ive ever seen.

after new years i was busy seeing friends and working, and then school started and i just got extremely busy. its literally been the most busy ive ever been in my life.

Also, like 2 weeks ago, my parents called me into their room and started talking about how they love me no matter what and all that bullshit, and then they just came right out and asked if i was gay. and i was like "yep" and then they kept asking about boys and shit and i was just like ugh. i did tell them about lee.

speaking of lee. i actually miss him a lot. well, maybe i just miss having a boyfriend. idk. but id like to suck his.....hhahaha.

but ever since my parents asked, all i want to do is go get another boyfriend. its like, their cool with it, so i should just fuck all the boys i can. haha.

god i havent had any dick in too long. maybe ill drive to nashville and visit steve. or washington to visit matt. or france to visit oliver. or new york(i think) to visit drew. you guys would let me "stay" with you, right? haha ;)

ok anyway, i hopefully will be posting much much more often. theres some cute boys in my classes that you should know about. thanks for reading. bye!

I really suck

2011-01-08T20:55:00.001-05:00

Don't hate me. I'll explain where I've been soon.

Sorry to everyone.

Dan

christmas tears

2010-12-10T11:28:00.006-05:00

so it finally decided to snow more than a centimeter last night. so when i woke up this morning and saw it all, i figured what a perfect time to listen to some christmas songs. so i grab my computer, open itunes and start playing all the christmas songs i have.....which is actually a lot. A few songs go by, and im just laying in bed listening and surfing the web when this song comes on......

.......and i start sobbing. literally crying like a baby. some nearly naked 19 year old gay kid laying in bed crying his eyes out over the christmas song. I cried the for the entire song. and im not really sure why. every christmas since i can remember, this song has been there. does this happen to anyone else? its the first time its ever happened. well except the first time i heard the schindlers list music after i first saw it.

also heres a question for my gay readers. lets say in the near future they come up with a cure for being gay. you would take a pill and boom, you would no longer find the same sex attractive, and suddenly the opposite sex looks fuckable. if they came out with a pill like that, would u take it? ill tell u my answer after i hear some of yours. incentive to comment.

in another note, im so fucking sick of being single. im tired of waking up in the morning and not seeing a boy laying next to me. its getting to be very frustrating. and it would be so nice to have a boyfriend for the holidays. we could listen to christmas music, drink hot chocolate, cuddle up by the fire. i guess im not so lucky.

anyway, today feels like a lazy one. better get started.

disappointed

2010-12-01T07:47:00.002-05:00

comments have been lacking. not loving that. it really doesnt help me want to write anything when i think people dont read it. if theres one thing a blog needs to remain healthy, its comments.

you all should comment more.

a bunch of shit

2010-11-29T14:37:00.003-05:00

u ever wake up really really horny? like, unbelievably horny? happened to me this morning. my god. i woke up and just all i wanted to do was get my nut off. i kept grinding into my bed. haha must have looked kinda funny.

every time im at work i see josh. and

every time i see josh, he just gets more and more cute. like, wtf. why cant he be gay? fuck. i really wanna see him naked.

so me and lee are no longer dating. he actually called me. left me a voice mail. "we need to talk"

so i called him and he was like "i think we should break up" and i was like "i agree". after we talked for a few minutes and ended our call, i kinda got sad. like, i really loved lee for a while, and to just ended it like that. idk. he deserved a better boyfriend.

any one try the new french fries at wendys? when i first heard about the change, i was furious. i fucking loved wendys french fries. but i gotta say, damn. the new ones are better. they kept the same taste, but changed the.......something. im not sure what they did, but im pleased.

its a really great day out today. just beautiful. it worries me tho. this could be the last nice day. and when there are no more nice days it snows, which means no more rain. i love the rain. its so calming. and when its over and the sun peaks through....o man. but snow is fun for a while. i just hate the cold.

kinda random post. have a pic tho.

Very curious...

2010-11-22T02:11:00.000-05:00

So at work there's this kid named Josh. I think he likes me.

Like I barely know the kid and he talks to me like we've known each other for years. He calls me Dan the man, and a few days ago hd even gave me his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which was delicious by the way.

So yea I think he might. And I'm ok with it. I keep trying to be all cool and slick around him, but it really doesn't matter. Like, if he likes me and tells me, sure, let's fuck. But if it's all in my head, whatevs.

He's also not the best looking guy but hes kinda cute. He fuckable.
Omg I'm horrible.

******UPDATE******
so hes not gay just really friendly. we were at work and he said he had to drive 2 hours, so i asked him why. "to see my girlfriend".

damn. i didnt think id be pissed but i kinda am. he looked really cute today. he didnt put gell in his hair and it looked so much better. i was undressing him with my eyes all day. damn.

Also this is my 200th post? damn i wish i had something prepared. hows a quick pic of my hip? im in bed.

crush

2010-11-07T22:03:00.002-05:00

so ive got a crush. a huge one.

theres this boy. ive never talked to him. ive never seen him in real life. i only really know what he decides to share on the internet. hes been in my dreams. i think about him a lot.

i have a huge crush on this boy.

and it feels wonderful.

i havent felt this way in a long time. i never really felt this way about lee. lee just...happened.

but the one thing that is kinda fucking with my head is that this boy is a lot like lee. like, almost the same thing. looks a lot like lee and everything. but idk.

idk. its nuts. im nuts. but all i know is i feel wonderful.

lee.....idk......

2010-11-04T11:57:00.004-04:00

lees fine. hes just miles away. its hard being in a relationship when you never see the other person.

and idk. i might be over lee. i know that sounds bad, but idk. i feel like i want something more. something more that he cant give me.

When i met lee, he was the perfect boy. A timid, shy boy who just wanted someone to hold him. And when we started dating, it was perfect. I got to be his knight in shining armor. i was the man of the relationship. it was great. but then i lost it. Something happened when school started that really got to me. I felt this huge feeling of regret and remorse. I felt worthless. I would look at my life and see nothing at all i wanted. There are so many things i wish i would have done differently. i wish i would have stayed on the football team. I wish i would have tried harder in school. I wish i would have accepted my gayness at an earlier age. It was like this huge weight was on my shoulders. i couldnt sleep. i couldnt eat. i lost almost 20 lbs. i was miserable. I kept thinking about how easy it would be to just kill myself. then i wouldnt have to be so miserable all the time. So i decided to change my life. I left school, came home, got a job, and will soon be transfering to a better school where i will get a better degree and then a better job.....hopefully.

and now im basically all better. no more bouts of depression.

but along with my meltdown came a new thirst for boys. im done with the wimpy, girly, shy boys. I want a man. I want to be the shy one. I want to be the timid one. i want a knight in shinning armor. Ive always felt like a gay boy stuck in a straight boys life. i want out. i wanna be the gay boy stuck in a gay boys life.

Im tired of fucking. i just wanna get fucked.

p.s. matts right. its hard to find the desire to write a post when comments are so few and far between. lets go people. I WANT TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!!

anyway, hope to see u all on msn soon. ive been on the past 3 nights, but no ones on.

let me explain

2010-10-29T14:30:00.002-04:00

hello.

yes. im still alive.

so since its been over a month since my last post, i thought i owed everyone an explanation. Right around the time when i was kinda having a mental breakdown, i completely lost any desire to write a post. Nothing was going on that i wanted to share. and after a while it felt good. it felt good to not have to worry about this world and to just worry about my real world. my future and all that.

but now im back for good. writing this feels wonderful. im back.

so anyway, i have a job. and its a pretty nice job. everyone is really nice and there are some smokin boys. Aaron, who is this blonde slim boy with earrings in both ears and a tight little ass. god hes wonderful. and this boy james who is cute as fuck and might be gay. and recently(last night) this boy josh who was really flirting hard man. i could feel it.

so yeah thats about it. i guess ill keep up working until next semester and then go to school around her. yeah that sounds good.

and if anyone has any questions about anything, or if theres anything at all your dying to know, just ask. ill answer anything.

love u all. bye.

BACK!!!

2010-09-17T20:22:00.002-04:00

so im sorry about the long absence. Ive been taking a break from blog world. and im not gonna lie, its been pretty nice.

but now im back.

So after having what i like to call a mini mental breakdown, im back to feeling like my old self, if not better. I dropped out of school and am taking the semester off. i got a job. and i didnt break up with lee.

so all in all im all better.

maybe one day in the future ill post the whole story, but for right now i just wanted u all to know im not dead.

also, for some stupid reason, msn deleted my email account, which means i have to use a new email for msn. so everyone who i normally talk to.....

ADD ME AT: dailydan@hotmail.com

we can talk and laugh and not give a mother of fuck. itll be wonderful. =)

not doing well

2010-09-08T10:05:00.002-04:00

im like in a bad place.

my head is full of self doubt and worry about my future. ive lost 13 lbs in like, a week. im considering ending it with lee. and on top of that, its looking like im taking a semester off from school.

i just dont know whats going on with me. im depressed all the time. im just overwhelmed.

i think im going to seek professional help. maybe see someone to help me out.

id love to talk to anyone who has any advise or just wants to talk.

whatever.

-Dan

bored. so heres this.

2010-09-04T11:08:00.003-04:00

1. what are you listening to?
Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik by outkast. the tits.

2. what was the last album you obtained?
2001 by dr dre and snoop dog

3. what are you wearing?
dark blue basketball short and a purple zip up hoodie with no shirt underneath

4. what's for dinner or what was for dinner?
dinner last night was ribs at chilis. tonight, who knows.

5. when is last time you saw your mom?
3 hours ago in the kitchen

6. what do you put on your toast?
depends. it could be butter, jelly, jam, peanut butter. whatevs.

7. what time is it?
11:13 am

8. what do you wear to bed?
i used to wear shorts and a tshirt, but now i just wear shorts.

9. what do you smell?
grape soda

10. what's on your coffee table or nearest table?
my phone, alarm clock, ipod, socks, lamp, gummy worms.

11. do you use conditioner?
i do

12. do you floss?
before i go to the dentist

13. do you use energy saving light bulbs?
my parents buy them

14. how old is your computer?
2 years? around there

15. how do you take your coffee?
like i take my men. full of cream.

16. what is your favorite beverage?
cocacola. there is nothing like a cold glass od coke.

17. what's the last piece of clothing you bought?
purple zip up hoodie

18. now, what are you listening to?
juicy by the notorious b.i.g.

19. What is the last beverage you drank?
water

20. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
lee like 15 mins ago

21. Are you happy?
extremely

22. Where was the last place you went shopping?
champs

23. Where did u go today?
nowhere

24. YM or MSN?
msn

25. Who was the last person to call you?
mom

26. What’s your zodiac sign?
aries

i suck

2010-09-02T15:52:00.003-04:00

im getting pretty bad at this blog shit. i apologize. ive just been in an extremely lazy mood. once school starts im sure ill start posting more.

again, im really sorry.

heres a cute boy

hello again

2010-08-26T09:58:00.002-04:00

IM HOME!!!! actually ive been home for over a week. After spending a week with the same people, when i got home i just didnt want to deal with anything. so i didnt blog, didnt go on msn, barely tweeted. it was a nice little break. but now im back!

so my trip was pretty awesome. California is amazing. the weather is gorgeous. We went to universal studios, disney land, the san diego zoo, hollywood. It was awesome. And flying was really a piece of cake.

there were billions of cute boys. it was ridiculous. its like they have them in bulk over there. I fantasized about so many boys. it was pretty awesome.

got home and just chilled with friends. didnt see lee till tuesday. aaron was really getting on my nerves on monday. im most definitely over him. but damn, im still very sexually attracted to him. hes so sexy to me.

and whats weird is, during my trip, i really didnt miss lee. i feel like i missed my dog more than i missed lee. and when i got home i was just like meh. i didnt really care if i saw him or didnt. but the minute he got here i ripped his clothes off and had my way with him. its like after not seeing him for over a week and then finally having him in front of me, it like reminded me that i can do anything i want to this boy. so i did. amazing.

school starts in a little less than 2 weeks. im ready to go back. so is lee.

so yeah just a nice little update. i didnt really go into great detail, so if anyone has any questions about anything, please ask. ill answer asap.

Vacation

2010-08-11T06:14:00.003-04:00

so im off to california! ill be gone a week so you probably wont hear from me till then.

sorry i havent been posting as much. busy i am.

Cya in a week!!!

-Dan

depressed

2010-08-02T15:05:00.005-04:00

ive been kinda down in the dumps lately. ive just been thinking to much.

summers over in a month and then im back off to school. it went by way to fast. what did i manage to accomplish? nothing. i didnt get a job. i just sat around being lazy. i literally was the most insignificant thing on the earth. i didnt contribute to society at all. im just a bum. a lazy fucking bum with no prospects at all. my future is doomed. im going to end up bagging groceries for the rest of my life.

im surrounded by all these people who love me. my friends, family, lee. but for some reason i feel so fucking alone. i feel like i have no one who i can really talk to about things. i can only tell you guys certain things. i can only tell my friends certain things. i can only tell lee certain things. i need someone who i can tell everything to. im tired of living so many different lives. its killing me.

i just want to cry.

Lee

2010-07-30T11:27:00.002-04:00

i miss lee. like bad. i dont get it. like the second he left, i immediately wanted him back. everything i do is better with him. eating, sleeping, walking, burping, jerking off. he makes everything so much more enjoyable.

and im scared. i never thought i could ever be this into another person. i know i wanted to with aaron, but now that its with lee, its scary.

is lee the one i want to spend the rest of my life with? as of right now, yeah.

idk maybe im just fucked up this week.

a weekend to remember (im running out of titles)

2010-07-19T12:42:00.003-04:00

so i left for lees on friday. got there and we just hung out for a while until like 4, when we heard talking coming from downstairs. So we walk down and lees mom and dad are sitting at the table with a young woman and some dude. The woman got up and her and lee hugged. Lee was pretty excited. He introduced me, as his boyfriend, to his sister melanie, and his sisters husband bill. we all sat down and immeditly i fell in love with her. shes awesome. she kept making gay jokes that were hilarious. me and lee were laughing but lees parents were like "oh my". bill was off on the phone somewhere for a while. i guess hes a real estate agent in chicago. idk.

anyway we all talk for a while and we order a pizza and lee, melanie, bill and i all played monopoly. Bill was pretty cool. he played football in highschool so we talked for a while about that. not bad looking either. the night wound down and me and lee went off to bed.

the next day i didnt wake up till 1230. lee made me some toast and we got dressed and went downtown. we were down there for a long ass time. we were just walking around. we ran into a few of lees friends. i will never get tired of hearing lee introduce me as his boyfriend. got back late and passed out.

next day me and lee just sat for a while. played some xbox and all that. dinner time was coming up and i was invited to join lees parents, melanie and bill out to olive garden. i of corse said yes. so we get there and our waiter comes over and is absolutely gorgeous. just a really cute guy. so he takes out drink order and right when he leaves melanie says "wow you two. your mouths must be watering." lee turned red and i burst out laughing. lees mom shot a dirty look at melanie. pretty good dinner.

next day, or this morning, i left early so i could say goodbye to my dad before he left for some conference in washington.

so yeah pretty nice trip to lees. i really do love him. fuck aaron. he missed out.

ass so nice, had to look twice

2010-07-15T15:21:00.002-04:00

so last weekend my friend john invited me up to his lake house to go boating and all that fun stuff. He also invited my friends sam, bob, and............aaron, who was home for the weekend.

So we get there and change into our swim suits and immediately my eyes are fixated on aaron. my god. gorgeous. his once bare chest had a little wisp of hair. and his ass. that juicy succulent ass. what i wouldnt do to dive dick deep into that perfectly molded boy butt. no offense to lee, but aaron has a much nicer butt. So i basically spent the entire day staring at him, which i could do because lee wasnt there and i had those sunglasses where u cant see what the person is looking at.

So it was a pretty great day. when i got home i started thinking about what would happen if aaron called me up and was like "i made a mistake. i love u. lets fuck." like, what would i do? i dont like the idea of me just leaving lee the minute aaron says i wanna fuck u. u know? thats not good. But like, aaron is aaron. i feel like i would have an extremely hard time turning him down. I have a boyfriend who i love and would do anything for, but would i turn aaron away? idk. and i hate myself for not knowing. good thing it will never happen tho.

and about my mom. she didnt say "i know u fuck lee in the basement." what happened was my dad said to me and my brother, "find a woman just like her" and my mom said "or a man"

at which point i kinda turned and left. awkward.

anyway, off to lees tomorrow. i need to get out of this house.

deep stuff

2010-07-09T10:58:00.003-04:00

so lee stayed over for a while this week and on wednesday lee said something that made me think about our future together. We were at the mall in sears walking past the washing machines when lee stopped.

lee: do u think were gonna be able to afford a nice washing machine when were married?
me: uhhhhhh......i.....hope?

i was pretty surprised. i really didnt know how to answer. so later when we got back to my place, i asked him about it.

me: so, we're getting married?
lee: huh?
me: u said earlier in the mall we were getting married and buying nice washing machines
lee: o yeah. idk i just kinda said it. have u never thought about it?
me: about us getting married?
lee: yeah
me: not really no
lee: oh. well i was thinking about it a few days ago.
me: and?
lee: well i really like u obviously and i feel like we really connect. Like, i think we should move in together next year.
me: damn.
lee: sorry. forget i said anything.
me: no no dont be sorry. its just ive never really thought about this before. its all pretty new thinking.
lee: i understand. will u think about it? its only the seed on an idea.
me: ill definitely think about it.

so heres me thinking about it.

i love lee. i would love nothing more than to be with him all day everyday. but moving in together is huge. marriage is huge. now if we have an argument, we have our own houses to cool off at. like, i can leave and he can leave. but once we move in together, we are always together. i also feel like once we move in together, thats it. im locked into this relationship. which is fine i guess. idk.

not sure what to do.

too many cuties

2010-07-04T12:00:00.003-04:00

jesus. a lot of shits been going on. here it all is. Oh and happy fourth of july.

Wednesday: i was home alone and i was bored out of my skull. I figured id call up a friend. So i called my friend jacob. He said he was busy with another friend but that they could both stop over. i said sure. So jacob and his friend mike come over. And ive met mike a few times. Let me just tell ya, pretty fucking cute. Hes a year younger than me and jacob. so we end up hanging out all day and into the night. Eventually, mike falls asleep.....on my bed. So there was a very cute boy on my bed, and it wasnt lee.
but i wasnt on the bed with him, and i eventually told jacob to take him home. Pretty fun day tho.

thursday: Got a call from jacob saying mike wanted to hang out again, so i said hell yes. They show up at 7 and mike brought one of his friends will, who i have never met. Once again, another fucking cutie. So we chill, and this time will was the one to fall asleep in my bed. I dont know why everyone just goes to my bed. It is very comfortable. So i had two cute boys in my room. no lee.

Friday: Me and a bunch of friends were gonna have a little get together at my house. My friend john asked if it would be cool if he brought a friend from college. I said of corse. So everyone shows up at 7 and i meet this kid, josh, and omg. He was really hot. Like, damn. I just felt so attracted to him. So the party goes well and everyone leaves the next morning.

saturday: Wake up, kick everyone out, and head over to lees. get there at around 1 and we just sit there and hang out. My friend john calls me up to see if i wanted to go to his lake house for fireworks. I told him i was with lee, but he just invited lee as well. So we went to johns lake house. Got there and john and josh are there. I didnt expect him to be there. So we go out on the water and go tubing, which means that josh has to take his shirt off. bad news. i could not stop looking at him. like, i was careful about it and no one noticed.....except lee. I would look over at lee and just get these nasty looks. And i mean yeah, i should have been getting them. I definitely shouldnt have been staring. But you guys didnt see this kid. he was just so....perfect. and maybe i was attracted to the thought that he was untouchable. U know? idk. but i felt bad cause lee, my boyfriend, had to watch me go gaga over some perfect piece of boy. i know i wouldnt like it if he was staring at some cutie. but i just couldnt look away. So we had a fun day and the fireworks were nice. We said our goodbyes and me and lee went back to my house. I apologized like a thousand times, and he was giving me the "whatever i dont care" routine. i knew of corse it was bull shit. So we went to bed.

sunday(today): Woke up before lee and made him a piece of toast. Along with that piece of toast was a note that said "im sorry. i love u". I brought it to him and woke him up. One of the things i love about lee is how he wakes up. Ill shake him awake and he'll stretch all cute like a cat, then sit up, and just sit there for like 5 minutes. He wakes up and just isnt all there, u know? like it takes him a while to adjust to the land of the living. Plus i love his morning hair. So i wake him up and give him his toast, and hes just sitting there, hair a mess, eating his toast, and not saying anything. after he finally finishes his toast, he reads the note, he crawls out of bed, walks over to where im sitting and kisses me and says, "i love you too." then walks into the bathroom to take a shower.

And now, hes playing xbox and im on my comp.

so a lot of shit happened. sorry itook so long to update you guys. cute boys have been keeping me busy.

well i did it

2010-06-24T13:24:00.003-04:00

i got a twitter. i said to myself "why not?"

So those of u that have a twitter, follow me. im hilarious.

so yesterday i was really horny, so i called up lee. he came over and he ended up staying the night. Lets just say i rocked his world. it was my very first booty call :P

ok so thats it. keep on keepin' on

to tweet or not to tweet?

2010-06-23T16:03:00.001-04:00

i keep on hearing great things about twitter. should i get one? would people follow? i dont want to invest in something that is just gonna be a waste of time.

those of u that have twitter, tell me about it. pros and cons. give me your sales pitch.

thanks boys(and girls?)

silly little fight

2010-06-22T14:15:00.001-04:00

so me and lee got into a little fight on sunday. We were sitting watching tv and the daily show was on. Jon stewart was talking about gay rights and all that stuff. so we got to talking and lee was very much in support of the gay community and equal rights and all that. and i agreed with him about everything. Its just im not big on "fighting the good fight". Like all these gay people getting mad about a small comment or someone using the word fag in the wrong way. I just want to stay at home with my boyfriend and be happy. But lee thinks that since im gay, i should get mad when people make fun of gay people. But like, i feel like i should be the bigger person and just ignore all the childishness going on in the outside world. Some people just dont like gay people. i hope that makes sense.

Anyway, we were debating the whole thing and lee was getting pretty upset, so as he got up to leave the room he took my french fries and threw them in the garbage. i was furious. so i yelled "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!!?!" and he just kept walking.
Now ill admit, i over reacted a tad about the french fries. But i think he over reacted about the whole gay thing. I was calm while we were debating, he was getting heated.

So since he was at my house, the rest of his visit was a little tense. he wasnt about to apologize and neither was i. we were both just angry. We didnt even sleep in the same bed.

So when he left the next day, i didnt want to be the one to call and apologize first, but that changed. Tuesday i just coundnt do it anymore so i called. We talked. He apologized and i apologized. we both realized how stupid of a fight it was. i mean, it really was just a stupid argument. I shouldnt have gotten so mad about french fries. and lee should understand that we have different views.

So in other news my mom and dad keep asking when im gettin a girlfriend. Its always so awkward. So i think they might be leaning something about me pretty soon.

crazy party

2010-06-18T16:52:00.003-04:00

So we all met up at aaron at around 10, because when we left the party we were all gonna crash at aarons. So we got there at 10 and just hung out for a while. We played ping pong and xbox. Aaron was being really nice to lee, which i liked. 1130 we leave for the party. Right when i get there i see people i know. Everyone just kept coming up and saying hi. I introduced lee as my friend from college. My shy little lee would just nod and say hi. adorable.

Out of the 6 of us, three of us knew everyone. Me, sam, and rob were very popular and were always busy with people. Sam more than anyone cause it was his bday. But aaron and john i felt kinda bad for because they didnt know as many people. They just talked in a corner. And lee just followed me around.

So we start drinking. We all get pretty drunk. Rob more than anyone. so its getting close to 1, which is when we all wanted to leave, and were saying our goodbyes and this one girl, sarah, who is drunk out of her mind, walks right up to lee. She blurts out, "are u gay?" and im just like fuck. And i look at lee and it must have been the alcohol but he goes "yep, i suck dick" and she laughs, a lot, and turns around and throws up all over this bush. So i grab lee and we get the hell out of there.

So the car ride consisted of john, our designated driver, playing loud music, while me, lee, aaron and rob sang along. it was fun.

So we get to aarons safe and sound, and we start playing beer pong. We played a few games, then we all sit down, and start watching a movie. This is the last thing i remember clearly. I remember rob and aaron running to the bathroom a few times. I remember i was sitting on the couch and lee was laying with his head in my lap. I remember running my hands through his long hair.(omg its sooo long now!) And thats it. Those are the last things i remember.

So i wake up the next day around 11. I was in aarons bed wearing nothing but my boxers. I was like wtf. So after like 2 minutes of waking up and trying to remember what happened, i notice that im not alone in the bed. Assuming its lee, i pull the blanket off of him. Well, it wasnt lee. It was aaron, and he was wearing nothing but his boxers. So at this point im just like wtf. So hes still passed out, so i quietly get out of bed and start looking for my shit. No where. So i leave aarons room and start looking in the basement. No where. So im like wtf. So i figure lee has to know, so i start looking for him. So im looking all through out the basement, the only place he could be. I find rob on the couch, and lee under the ping pong table wearing a shirt and boxers. So i crawl under and gently wake him up, and hes all disoriented. im like "babe, wear are my clothes?" and he looks at me and says "who cares, your hotter with them off" so i laugh and punch him in the arm. hes like "owwww i dont know! ask john" Perfect, ill find john and he'll have to know. He didnt drink as much. Well, i cant find john. And im like wtf. Then it hits me. There are people talking in the kitchen. Theyve been talking this whole time. So i go upstairs to the kitchen and sure enough, theres john talking to aarons mom and dad. Johns like "good morning" and aarons mom is like, "why are u in your boxers?" so im like, "i cant find my clothes" they all chuckle and aarons dad is like "i remember my first beer" and im like fuck this guy, i just want my clothes. So john says "i think i saw your shit in the bathroom. So i thank him and go back to the basement and find my shirt and shorts, lees shorts, and aarons shirt and shorts, all in the shower. Thank god they wernt wet. So i get dressed, throw a now sleeping lee his shorts, and go back to aarons room and throw his clothes on the bed. Then i went up and had breakfast with john and aarons parents.

People start waking up. Lee, rob, and eventually aaron. So we all finish breakfast and were sitting at the table and were all trying to figure out what happened. Everyone remembers sitting on the couch, but for everyone but john, we dont remember anything else. So we heres johns story.

We were all watching the movie when rob suggested we play another game of beer pong. We all agreed and it was me and lee vs. aaron and rob. So we set up and right before we play aaron complains about the heat so he takes off his shirt and shorts and is just in his boxers. Me and lee i guess agree so we strip down too. So we play a game and rob and lee are like, thats it im going to bed. Rob finds the couch, aaron turns on the tv, john joins rob on the couch, and lee goes to the bathroom. So then i went to aarons room were i fell asleep in his bed. thats when john fell asleep. So aaron must have gotten tired eventually and gone to his bed and didnt care i was there. And lee must have seen that the couch was full so he went and slept under the ping pong table.

We all had a good laugh. So then we all left at 2ish. Me and lee came here and fell asleep. didnt wake up till 7 and we ate dinner. hung out and lee left monday at 11.

So yeah thats it. I have some other stuff to talk about, including me and lee having our first fight, but i dont want to make this post any longer than it already is. So stay tuned.

when lee meets aaron

2010-06-12T13:49:00.003-04:00

So lee came over yesterday at around 3. We hung out for a bit until dinner when my mom offered to take us out. I at first was like no fucking way, but its free food, and she loves lee. So it was a pretty normal dinner. My mom, lee, me and my brother. It was nice.

So after dinner we hung out for a while. My friend john called me up and asked if we wanted to see a movie. We said sure and at 830 we met my friends john, sam, rob, and brian. I introduced them to lee and they all were very nice. Sam was like, "so this is the boyfriend huh?" and me and lee smiled. It was nice. And durring the movie we held hands for a while. very nice.

so then after the movie we got a call from aaron. He had just gotten home and he wanted to see us. So we all went to his house at around 1130. I introduced aaron to lee. Aaron was very very nice. And then all 7 of us just talked. Very nice. It was getting close to 1 and people started leaving and eventually it was just me, lee and aaron. We had some nice talks. Aaron asked a lot of question. Where we met, our first date. He was very interested. so we finally left around 130.

we got home and, how should i say it? we fucked. haha lee was very horny for some reason. So were done and were laying in my bed and he says "i love your friends. I dont think sam likes me and aaron is absolutely adorable." and i was like "haha yeah. they all liked u." i just didnt want to mention aaron right then.

So then this morning lee thought it would be a good idea to go get breakfast. So we got up way to early and went to breakfast. it was nice. this old woman and man kept looking at us. Lee thought it would be a good idea to surprise kiss me. So he did, and i of corse didnt stop him haha. The old people stopped looking after that.

so now hes napping and im on my comp. and in a few hours, were going to the party. I loved all of your comments and i think im just gonna introduce him as my friend. if people wanna ask, ill tell.

coming out?

2010-06-11T12:08:00.002-04:00

A lot of shit has been going on.

So one of my good friends is having a huge birthday party tomorrow night. So i asked him if it would be cool if i brought someone. He was fine with it. So i called up lee and asked if he wanted to come. he'll be here today at 3.

So him coming means a lot of things. Hes definitely going to meet all of my friends. Im absolutely fine with that, because everyone knows about him now. Now this party is going to have a lot of people from high school there. So if lee comes, i have 2 options. Introduce him as a friend from high school, or introduce him as my boyfriend. Now ive thought a lot about this. If i introduce him as my friend, no worries. If i introduce him as my boyfriend, i feel like im just dropping a huge bomb. not only would i be coming out, but i would be introducing them to my boyfriend. Thats a lot to handle, especially coming from me, someone they thought was straight.

so im not sure what to do. I talked to lee about it and he says i can do whatever i want and he doesnt want to pressure me into coming out. so thats nice. but at the same time, i kinda want to come out. i have this amazing boyfriend and i want to show him off god damnit! haha.

so any suggestions? im very tied up right now.

answers

2010-06-09T00:48:00.004-04:00

Well not a lot of people asked questions. For those who did ask a question, i love u. For those who didnt, no worries. Im just in a really chill mood right now. I love u all no matter what.

Questions

(mirrorboy)

Are you a cat or dog person?

Dog person. Definitely.

What's your favourite and least favourite season?

Spring. Not to hot and the flowers start to bloom. and i love the rain.

What's your favourite tv show?

Breaking bad. Just an amazingly well produced show. LOST is second. And dexter is up there.

What's your favourite colour?

Red

What's your favourite food?

I love spaghetti. hot dogs are good two. i like to many foods

What's your favourite physical part of a guy?

im really attracted to legs. like if a guy has bad legs, i cant find him attractive. I love a bare back too.

Which of Lee's qualities do you most like and think makes you a good couple? (mentally)

I love how hes like, insecure and shy. I just find that adorable. It makes me want to just be his knight in shining armor. What makes us a good couple. Well it doesnt hurt that we are both attracted to eachother. We just click. We already know eachothers little quirks. Idk, its like hes one piece of a puzzle and im another piece and we just fit together. wow long answer

Is your blog name Daily Dan cos you jerk off daily? Or fuck, now that you have Lee. :P

Well at first it was gonna be that i would post everyday, so i would be daily dan. but that stopped.

Umm what's is Lee's father's most attractive body feature? lol

his hair. salt and pepper. like george clooney. yum.

Would you rather give or receive oral? And why? :P

thats hard. id say 50/50. I love sucking dick. It tastes good. but man do i love a good blow job.

Does Lee have good breath?

yes. like puppy breath.

Have you done anything kinky with him yet? Would you want to? O:

havent done anything. im not really into the kinky stuff.

Does he take his shoes and socks off when you have funtimes?

i make sure of it. To me, your not really having sex unless your both completely naked. and i love legs and feet

Who'd make a better Prime Minister of Aus? Kevin Rudd, Bert Newton or Tony Abbot? :D Feel free to take them on name value. :P

kevin rudd, because he has the same last name as paul rudd

Where do your eyes go in the locker room?

chest and ass, legs, then face

Annnndd will you marry me?

in a heart beat

(Tommy)

Have you and Lee swapped roles in the bedroom?

not yet. hes still the bottom. maybe we will one day. i know aj wants me to.

Which country do you most want to visit?

pretty much anywhere in europe except russia. i dont care to much for russia.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

enough

(tman)

If you had the power to domesticate any animal on this earth, that is now considered wild, which one would you .... for 1 week only...

lion. Just a big cat that loves u.

when you're intimate with a bf, do you need to see his eyes, to be fulfilled??

not the whole time. maybe when u climax. guess it depends on the mood.

If you were given $100,000 to spend, only, not on yourself, how would you spend it??

idk. my family. friends who need help. hard question.

If you found a roll of cash (or, a pocketbook with money) on the ground, in a store parking lot, and nobody saw you pick it up... what would you do with it??

id like to say id take to wallet in and leave the money. But being realistic, id probably take the money and return the wallet. im a bad person.

(Biki)

If you decide to get married to Lee, where would you like to have the ceremony?

Id marry lee anywhere. but id love to do it somewhere on a beach i guess.

Favorite all time movie?
The shawshank redemption

Do you have a major picked out yet, and if so what?
I dont have a major picked out yet. idk what i want to do.

Would you ever think about going into politics?

i would love to be president. and id be good because im not retarded

(Kane)

dick size?

6.5-7

ur bf dick size?

6ish

do you swallow? does he? do you lyk it?

i have. it was.....ok. He did....he seemed to like it better.

most wildest place you will/want/had sex at?

nowhere really. id love to do it outside sometime.

bb or condom?

condom

favorite date? dream date?

First date with lee was great. i dont really have a dream date.

if you could be some1 famous for a day, who?

someone who is famous for doing something good.

half full or half empty?

half full

(AJ)

Can you explain to us just how perfect your dick is? lol

pretty perfect

what is your favorite part of having a boyfriend?

just that connection u share with another person. The feeling i get deep down that makes me feel better about things. to love someone so much, u cant keep it in. its great

ok well thats it. i have a lot of new shit to talk about so expect a post pretty soon after this. hope u enjoy.

Any questions?

2010-06-04T11:34:00.002-04:00

well im not sure what to do. I cant think of anything to post. Like, i want to post something, and i feel i have something to post, but i have no idea what. My last few posts have been pretty bland. I dont want to keep gushing about lee. I need something to post.

So, in order to fix this, i am gonna let u guys ask me any question you want. You can ask about lee, my parents, anything u want. I know, mirrorboy just did it. But a lots happened since the last time i did this. College, boyfriend, all that stuff.

So ill give you guys a few days. idk maybe next wednesday.

LET THE QUESTIONS BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!

back from lees

2010-06-02T20:03:00.003-04:00

So i got back from lee's yesterday. Had an amazing time.

I was gonna leave here at 10 but my mom was being extra bitchy and i had to do some chores. Didnt end up leaving till closer to 12. When i got to lees his dad answered the door. He seemed pretty happy to see me. He called for lee who came from his room. He ran over to me and kissed me hello. It was very unexpected and i didnt know what to do, cause his dad was right there. So then we went to lees bedroom and his dad went to the kitchen. I was like "what was that about?" and he was like "what?" so i was like "kissing in front of your dad" and he said "oh. fuck him" haha i love it. So we hung out for a while until around 5 when his block party was starting, so me lee and his parents went off to the park. Memorial day is a big deal where lee lives. His neighbors went all out. Hotdogs, hamburgers, all different pies. it was nuts. there was a bunch of people. So we got food and went and sat at bench. we ate alone for a while, until 3 guys started coming over. They were lees friends. So they came over and lee introduced me as his boyfriend. They were all very nice, and a lot like lee. So we ended up hanging with them for the rest of the night. We all went out and they showed me their town, which was very nice. After we were out till like 1, lee and i went home and passed out. I woke up at 10 and lee was gone so i headed down to the kitchen where lee and his mom and dad were sitting. Lees mom made me some coffee, and we sat there and talked for a while. Then i packed and left.

it was a wonderful visit. we didnt even have sex. it was just nice to be with my boy.

At this point, hes all i think about. i just find him so sexy. he growing his hair out and i love it. im just to in love. life has never been this good.

cant think of a title. fuck

2010-05-30T12:36:00.003-04:00

man o man have i been busy. Sometimes having a lot of friends can be very draining.

A few days ago i was driving one of my friends home and he asked me about me being gay. Its the first time ive really talked to any of my friends about it(besides aaron). He asked if anyone else knew i was gay. I said nope. Then he asked why i wasnt out trying to find a boyfriend. So i was like "well, actually, i have a boyfriend." And thus started the conversation about lee. I just told him pretty basic things. He seemed happy for me, so it worked out.

Had a bit of a party with all my friends 2 nights ago. Its the first time everyone was back in town. Everyone got pretty drunk. Nothing big happened. Just a great night hanging with friends. I did wake up on the ground in some closet. Pretty nuts.

for some strange reason, every single boy i see i find cute as hell. Like, i would usually see maybe 3-5 cute guys a day. But now, its passing 10. Its like now that im taken, all i see is these boys i cant have, and thus making them more attractive. its weird. Also, since i started dating lee, i feel more....idk....gay. Like ill be at the mall and ill just feel 100% gay. And i mean, i am. But i always felt pretty straight, except i wanted to fuck dudes. but now, i just feel like im all gay, and everyone knows. idk if that makes any sense.

And in closing, im off to lees tomorrow. Probably leave at 10. I guess his block is having a memorial day party and were gonna go. Lee says i get to meet his friends. Should be fun.

aaron

2010-05-26T11:07:00.002-04:00

aaron comes home this weekend. i havent seen him in just about 3 weeks. I hate it. Why did he have to get a job at his school? he should be home with me. but at the same time its probably best.

im going to lee's on monday. gonna spend the day there. maybe stay the night. who knows.

well just a quick update. sorry about being so busy. love u guys.

sorry

2010-05-21T10:14:00.003-04:00

sorry for my recent disappearance. ive just been extremely busy. Ill wake up in the morning andsee a list of shit my parents want me to do, like mow the lawn or wash the floor. Since i dont have a job they basically treat me like their slave. but im happy to do it, cause i get anything i want. then when im done doing chores, some random friend will text me and be like lets hang out. People i havent seen since highschool. its nuts. and i cant say no. gotta keep my reputation up. So ill be out till like 2 in the morning and then the same thing the next day.

But finally i have some free time.

weekend with lee
Was an amazing weekend. he came over friday around 1. we hung out, did some stuff, and then when my parents came home they took us out to dinner. Dinner was nice. my mom and dad asked lee a lot of questions. Lee was surprisingly open about shit. Normally hes kinda shy and stuff but not with my parents. My mom has a way of making everyone feel welcome, so that might have done it. So the rest of friday saturday and sunday we just sat around and watched movies and stuff. We didnt really leave the house. it was wonderful just being with him. He left sunday at noon. Really nothing eventful. I just had a really good time.

anyway, sorry again about making u wait for the update. heres a picture of me.

haha just kidding. thats not me. But when i saw this picture i was like," i dont remember taking this picture." me and this kid look very much alike.

LOVE!

2010-05-16T00:37:00.003-04:00

"I love you, dont you see

you stole my heart and 1 2 3

I love you, yes its true

you stole my heart and im gonna steal yours too."

AHAHHAHAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Im so fucking in love. my heart just feels huge!!!

-Dan (head over heels in love)

lee's here!

2010-05-14T15:07:00.002-04:00

i should have posted this earlier but i was busy getting ready. Lee's here, got here around 1. Weve been having fun haha. hes playing xbox now so i have to be quick.

I told my parents a friend from school was visiting for the weekend. just a friend. lees fine with it. we just have to be more quiet. when lee leaves sunday, maybe ill tell them. idk yet.

i havent told my friends anything because, well, just about all my friends are on vacation or busy. Aaron is working at his school, 3 of my friends are on vacation, and the rest are here and there. if i see them, I probably wont tell them were dating, just that were friends. They will probably figure it out tho.

ok gotta run

flirting with boys

2010-05-12T17:19:00.002-04:00

I was at the store returning some shit for my mom, and the dude working there was really cute, and he was totally flirting with me. I was sure he was gonna ask me out. then at blockbuster, some guy who worked there who was really fucking cute, came up to me and asked if i needed anything. I said no but he just started talking to me about other shit that had nothing to do with movies. He was totally flirting. And i just keep thinking, is there like some scent im giving off to all these gay guys that lets them know im gay? why hasnt this happened before? well it sure is nice to know people think im cute.

my ego is too big

also, been talking to lee. looks like hes coming over this weekend. He wants to come friday and leave sunday. Im all for it. But, 2 things. 1: i havent told my parents yet. Ive been thinking a lot about just telling them. Being like, my friend from school is coming to visit for the weekend, and weve kinda been.......dating. idk, thoughts? and 2: my friends dont know, and lee wants to meet them. i have no idea how im suppose to drop that bomb. Like, just telling them my friend is visiting and then being like "were actually dating" idk. help?

so yeah, any advise would be much appreciated. u guys rock. ill be on msn today at some point so we should all talk or somethin. idk. im in a wacky mood.

wonderful time at lee's

2010-05-08T17:11:00.002-04:00

Lee's was really fun

Left home around 10 and got to lees close to 1030. It was just him home because his parents were still at work. We had the house to ourselves and we fooled around for a while. it was fun. he has a nice house and the most comfortable bed. We hung out for a while and his mom came home around 4. We met and she gave me a hug and was really nice. like, she was just a really sweet person. She asked me a lot of questions. Around 530 is when lee's dad came home. I was pretty nervous to meet him. Lee was like "Dad, this is my boyfriend Dan." and i was like o shit. So he extended his hand and i shook it. He was ok. So lee's mom ordered a pizza and we all sat and talked. Lee's dad also asked me a lot of questions and one of them was "did u play any sports in highschool?" so i was like "yeah i played football. I was a reciever". right after i said that his eyes lit up and he like turned into a different person. He was awesome after that. We talked about football and stuff. lee told me later that he was never into sports and his dad was treating me like the son he never had. kinda sucks, but lee didnt care. him and his dad have i guess a strained relationship. Anyway dinner was done and lee and i went on a walk for a bit. We went to park and sat on a bench and just enjoyed being with the other person. We came back and watched Se7en, one of my favorite movies. It was getting kinda late so we went to his room. We started making out and it was getting pretty intense. while we were fooling around, lee was like "i want u to fuck me" so he grabbed a condom and, yeah, we had sex. It was both of ours first time. It was amazing. and lee loved it. Anyway, after that, lee fell asleep but i couldnt, so i got up and talked to matt for a while. he kinda helped me put things into perspective, and i felt a lot better about things. So i went back to bed with lee.

We woke up around 10 and went downstairs where his mom was making breakfast and his dad was reading the paper. We sat down and lee's mom was like "good morning you two. sleep well?" and me and lee were like yup. and lees dad was like "you two sure made a lot of noise last night" and me and lee were like, fuck. im sure we were beat red in the face. Breakfast was good and i left after that. got home around 12.

over all id say it was a great weekend. i feel good about me and lee. and im pretty sure his parents liked me. lee said they did so yeah.

anyway, thats my trip. later.

going to lee's!

2010-05-05T15:50:00.003-04:00

so it looks like im going to lee's tomorrow. He was gonna come here but i guess his dad found out and didnt want lee coming to visit some boy without meeting him first. I guess he isnt as cool about the whole boyfriend thing as his mom. So im going to him! ill be there most of tomorrow, and then be home on friday which is when aaron comes home. So yeah....

....about aaron. I just, i feel like with me and lee, its awesome and i love lee a lot and hes a great boyfriend and all, but i just still feel so connected to aaron. its like, ugh. its hard to explain. Like it feels like lee is much more emotionally invested in me than i am in him because of the whole aaron thing. like, i hold aaron so fucking high, its hard for anyone to like, compare to him. make sense?

I think i should talk to aaron about the whole thing. and lee. idk any thoughts?

And should i get a twitter? would people follow?

someones got BIEBER FEVER!!!

2010-05-02T17:45:00.011-04:00

so yeah, i admit it, i think justin bieber is adorable. I dont care for his music, but holy shit hes cute. Here are some pictures.

He might as well be suckin my dick

Toooooooo fucking cute

I like to think theres nothing under the towel

He can toss around the football with me any day

Just standing there looking sexy. yum

OOOOO some cute bieber butt!

Last but not least, Justins extremely cute feet

So yeah, just some pics of justin for ya. in other news, i really miss lee. he said he was gonna try to come over sometime soon, so im hopeful. I also lost my ipod, and im pissed about it.

im home

2010-05-01T10:02:00.002-04:00

so i got home thursday. put all my shit in my room and was gonna put everything back but, its still in a huge pile. ive just been lazy. Lee got home yesterday.

Interesting thing tho. Thursday when we were saying goodbye, he told me that he told his mom about me. And like, i wasnt mad or anything, but idk it was just like....idk. He was like "i was talking to my mom and she asked if i had met someone, and i kinda told her about u." So i was like "oh....cool. what did she say?" and he just went on about how she was happy for him and i guess lee told her everything. like EVERYTHING. and at first i was like, nervous, but now its kinda a freeing feeling. like, lees mom knows, u know?

idk if any of that makes sense. im kinda being rushed by my mom to go shopping for nice clothes.

one more thing. Do u guys like hearing about me and lee? if u guys are sick of hearing about it then i can stop. its just this blog is about my life, and lee is in my life so yeah. just let me know. sorry if this post is weird. ive got a lot on my mind.

im comin home

2010-04-28T20:40:00.004-04:00

I know i said i would be absent for a while but finals are just about done and i get to go home tomorrow. im excited to be done with everything.

Havent seen much of Lee lately. hes a much bigger nerd than i am, and he studies a lot. its adorable. We have definitely fallen into the boyfriend groove. The expected goodnight text. The expected goodbye kiss. We know where to touch eachothers body to give them pleasure(Lee loves it when i kiss the back of his neck). Everything is just going well.

But, and its a HUGE but. Ive been thinking about aaron A LOT. like, hes sometimes all i think about. and im scared shitless. i really dont like it. Ive talked to lee about it and he says he understands but i can tell he doesnt really like it. Aaron doesnt know about lee, but id like him to meet him.

Idk. maybe its the school year ending thats got me all in a weird mood. Who knows.

busy busy

2010-04-25T01:18:00.002-04:00

sorry for my disappearance. Ive just been so fucking busy. Schools coming to an end and i have finals this coming week. And lee, boy he keeps me busy haha.

So i just wanted to let u guys know i probably wont be posting for a while. Maybe when i get home from college. I just dont know.

Lee is wonderful. Weve been on another date. We went to lunch at wendys haha. it was awesome because he kissed me inside where everyone could see us. it was pretty hot. No sex yet, but blowjobs for sure. Amazing stuff there.

And lately, before i fall asleep, ill just think about aaron and tyler a lot. Like, i think about them sexually. I really miss aaron and i just want to kiss him everywhere. and tyler, i just want to fuck him so bad. idk its weird.

well ill talk to u when i talk to u.

best day ever?

2010-04-19T22:59:00.002-04:00

So today was like, the best day ever.

Went to media class and lee was waiting with a huge grin on his face.

lee: "hey there'

me: "hey. whats up?"

lee: "just waiting for u. ready for tonight?"

me: "whats tonight?"

lee: "our first date! i thought i told u..."

me: "um... right..."

lee: "haha maybe i didnt. "

so we walk inside and sit, and lee is sooo excited, and its rubbing off on me, and we're just both really excited. And we talk all class, like old times. it was just wonderful. we were making fun of people and joking around. It was so awesome. So class ends and we walk out and he wants to go to his house before we go out. So we get to his room and we drop our bags and he comes over and gives me a quick kiss and says "im so excited for this" and im like "me too". so he backs off and heads over to his dresser and pulls out a clean shirt. He pulls off the shirt hes wearing and throws it in his clothes basket. Let me just say, my mouth was watering. His back was to me, so i only saw his back, but omg that was enough to send me over the edge. He puts his clean shirt on and turns around and i must have been smiling or something because he was like "what?" i just said "nothin"

So we left his room and went to my car. I asked him where we were going and he said chilis. i love chilis. So we head out and i put on some music, and its my favorite song ever, it was a good day by ice cube. And to my surprise, lee knew most of the words. So there we were, on the way to chilis, singing it was a good day. it was like out of a movie.

So we get to chilis, and we get this nice booth. We sit and order our food, and we start talking. It was so natural, just us there talking and eating our food. It was such a great date. We played footsies every now and again. He even payed for me. It was so nice. And the food was amazing. I had the cajun chicken pasta and he had the chicken strips, and we shared a cheesecake. It was so nice.

So we head back to his place, and we walk in and sit on his couch and put in a movie. Shawn of the dead haha. so we cuddle up next to eachother and start watching. I remember his hair, and how it smelled like watermelon. It was so good, so i start to run my hand through it. it was just so peaceful. So we watch the movie, and it ends, and were just sitting there. So i lean over and kiss his cheek. He turned toward me and he kisses me. so we start kissing for a while. After a few minutes he ends up on top of me and were just really kissing hard. I remember my hand going under his shirt and running against his smooth back. Man it was hot. We do that for a while until my phone starts ringing. It was my room mate wondering where i was. So our moment was kinda cut short. I told him i needed to get going cause i have a somewhat early class, so we kiss one last time and i get my stuff and go.

So yeah, just about the best day ever i think.

we need a date night

2010-04-17T10:33:00.002-04:00

So my birthday was pretty awesome. Got tons of money and some other cool shit. It was overall a great day. Before i left for home on thursday i got part 1 of lees gift. We met for lunch and he came over to my place for the first time. So we just made out for half an hour before he had to go to class. He also bought me recess peanut butter cups. It was possibly the best gift ever.

But like, it still feels awkward. The whole time durring lunch it was just kinda like, different. Its hard to explain. Like, i dont really see him as my boyfriend yet. And like, when we were kissing, it was great, but when we were just talking....idk. i think we need to go on a date for me to really start to feel like hes my boyfriend. so idk.

having relationships are kinda hard.

way too soon

2010-04-15T00:43:00.002-04:00

So yeah i didnt ask him to come home with me this weekend. I just feel like its way way to soon.

And in class today, things were weird. It was just kinda awkward. Idk, maybe its in my head.

I did get some info out of him today, and since u guys asked, heres the answers.

hes never had a boyfriend.

hes out to his parents and a few friends

hes never kissed a boy(until now)

yeah so thats the big stuff. idk i feel like this is a pointless post. i feel old too.

happy birth day to me.

help with this weekend

2010-04-14T13:25:00.003-04:00

First i want to thank everyone for their comments about my grandpa. Im gonna miss him, but life goes on. And thanks for all the encouraging words about lee. You guys really are the best.

So didnt see lee at all yesterday. I had a paper to write and idk it just didnt happen. We texted for a while but you know, i would have loved to have tasted his lips again. its like cocaine. i want it all the time.

Anyway, we talked about this weekend and i told him i was going home for the weekend cause of my birthday and all. He was fine with it. He just told me he would have to give the first part of my present on thursday and the second part on monday. Who knows what that means...

So heres my problem. I was thinking of asking if he wanted to come with me, cause he isnt really doing anything this weekend and well, i wanna be with him on my bday. But i mean, idk. Do u guys think its too soon? I keep feeling like its way too soon to have him come home with me. Idk. its not like id introduce him to my parents as my boyfriend or anything. For now i would just say hes a friend. But like, i feel like its way too soon. we literally just decided to be boyfriends on monday. We havent even been out on a date yet. And if he did come home with me, would he come out to dinner with me and my family for my bday? i just dont know.

Any help would be much appreciated. Love u guys! your all the best.

boyfriend

2010-04-12T22:15:00.004-04:00

Well before i go on and tell u about what happened with lee, i just wanted to let u know about my sunday. I spent 10 hours in the hospital, where eventually my grandpa died. I didnt get home till around 1 in the morning. And im pretty ok with the whole death thing, it doesnt bother me. But what really got to me was my grandma. Hearing her cry was horrible. And my mom was crying. it was just a bad atmosphere.

Anyway, on to the good news.

It was a beautiful day outside. So I got to media class and lee wasnt there waiting. I just figured he was running late. Get into class and sit down. No lee. i wait and wait and wait till class is just about to start. FINALLY he comes over and sits next to me. so we start talking.

me: "there u are"

lee: "yeah i was napping"

me: "tired?"

lee: "yeah i didnt sleep well last night"

me: "u ok?"

lee: "im fine"

me: "ok...."

So the rest of class was pretty bad. We didnt really talk much, and it felt kinda awkward. It was just bad. So finally, class ends and we get up in silence. We make our way outside and we start talking again.

me: "u ok?"

lee: "im fine. listen, can we talk?"

me: "yeah, right now?"

lee: "yeah, lets go to the pond"

me: "ok sure"

so we start making our way to the pond, which is really far from class. It was a bad walk. Not a word was spoken. I wanted to say something, but i was just so nervous about everything. So after maybe 10 minutes we get to the pond and lee leads me to one of those 4 seated table bench things. He sits and i sit across from him. So lees looking at the table and im just sitting there, not sure what to do. So maybe like 3 minutes later, lee starts speaking.

lee: "About the other day. Listen, if you were just joking around i understand and all. its no big deal"

me: "what?"

lee: "the whole u liking me and all. i understand if you were just joking around and shit.

(his eyes are still glued to the table)

me: "wait, you think i was joking?"

lee: "yeah dude its cool. people joke like that all the time"

me: "well i wasnt joking...."

(he looks up for a quick second and sees me smiling. he thought i was still joking around)

lee: "dude, really. the jokes over"

me: "what joke?"

lee: "seriously. stop it."

I was just in like shock. I had just told this boy that i liked him 2 days ago, and he didnt believe it. He just didnt think i was serious. So, i decided to get bold. I got up, alked over to his seat, and sat down right next to him. He noticed and looked at me. He looked sad. So i grab one of his hands, and lean forward. He meets me half way, and we kiss. It was a short kiss, and the minute we pulled apart his cheeks were blushed and he had this huge smile was on his face. I felt myself smiling just as hard.

lee: "y-you were serious?"

me: "i told u i was"

lee: "haha yeah. i guess so."

(he looks away and bites his bottom lip. Thats one of my weaknesses. i cant keep it in)

I lean forward again, and we start kissing more and more. I feel his tongue touching mine. My hand makes its way to his hair, and i feel his hand on my thigh. It felt like i was floating. It felt like we were kissing for hours, but after maybe 10 minutes we heard some girls laughing. We stopped quickly and we were both beat red.

me: "wanna get some dinner?"

lee: "um.....yea....."

me: "ok haha"

So we went to dinner, ate dinner, and went back to his dorm room. We talked for a long time. We talked about us, about this weekend, about music and food and movies we like. And we kissed some more haha. and finally at around 9 i said i had to go. So he walked me to his door and kissed me goodbye. No ones ever kissed me goodbye before.

So all in all, i would say it was the best day ever. Looks like Daily Dan has himself a boyfriend.

mission accomplished

2010-04-10T09:29:00.002-04:00

ok so heres the story

i was home last night talking to matt. I was kinda feeling down about college and shit, and i was like maybe i should text lee. So i did, and for a good while me and lee were texting back and forth, and matt was helping me figure out what to say.

me "what are you up to?"

lee "watching finding nemo"

me "I love that movie. wish i was there"

lee "wish u were here too. What are u up to?"

me "just thinking about shit and watching shrek 2"

lee "what shit?"

me "Just some shit ive got on my mind"

lee "are u ok?"

me "o yeah im fine its just shit u know?"

lee "wanna talk about it?"

me "well i just met this person and i think im starting to really like them..."

lee "more than friends?"

me "more than friends....."

lee "Actually, theres this person i just met and i think im starting to really like them..."

me "more than friends?"

lee "more than friends...."

me "i like you lee"

lee "i like you dan"

me "wanna get together on monday?"

lee "yea we can talk about stuff ;)"

me "cant wait :)"

lee "me either..."

and that was it. You have no idea how this feels. its like my body is cold and my heart is releasing warm chicken noodle soup all throughout my body haha. I feel so good. I cant put it into words correctly.

its too late. lee has my heart.

(p.s. thanks matt for your help.)

what should i do?

2010-04-08T10:51:00.002-04:00

Ok well yesterday was a shitty day. it was raining on and off and by the time i got to media i was pretty wet. But Lee was waiting again. I wonder if he gets there early just for me. We actually had to kinda pay attention in class cause the professor was talking about our final paper. So class kinda sucked, but after class i asked lee if he wanted to join me and my friends for some dinner, and he said of corse. So we ate for like 45 minutes and as we were leaving Lee asked me if i wanted to go on a walk. Of corse, i said yes. I was kinda nervous, not sure why. So we said bye to my friends, who i m sure thought it was weird. So we went walking. We were walking around campus, talking about high school and how green the grass was and a bunch of other shit. It just felt so.....right. But after a while of walking and talking, it started to rain cats and dogs. So we ran under this building overhang and waited for the rain to stop, which was like 15 mins later. Then we said goodbye and we went back to our dorms. It was really really nice.

So now heres my question. How do i get things moving? How to i take it to the next level?

I was talking to Matt and he said i should ask him to like the movies or dinner, and when he says yes, if he says yes, let him know its a date. I kinda like that.

any other ideas? I really like Lee, and i dont wanna mess things up.

And one more thing. I had a really weird dream last night. I was with Lee in my bed and we were like cuddling and then the door bursts open and Arran storms in and starts yelling "your suppose to love ME! your suppose to love ME!" Then i woke up. What does that mean?

Lunch with Lee

2010-04-07T10:57:00.002-04:00

Lunch was amazing. We just talked about this and that. It was so great. its so crazy how ive only known him for 2 weeks and we already talk to eachother like we're best friends. its nuts. we just "fit" together, u know?

Still not sure if hes gay. But we have media class today, so who knows. Maybe things will happen.

well thats it. ill keep ya posted.

LUNCH!!!

2010-04-06T13:49:00.001-04:00

guess who just texted me to join them for lunch?

LEE

im in love

2010-04-05T22:21:00.002-04:00

i dont even know where to begin.

I was walking to media class with my 3 friends and who happens to be sitting on a bench right outside class? Lee. I wave and he gets up and says hi. I introduce him to my friends and we all go in and sit. Once again, we talked like all hour. The professor kept giving us dirty looks haha. So class ends and i didnt want our fun to end so i invited him to dinner. He said hed love to so he came back to my place and all 5 of us went to dinner. Lee sat next to me, and we all just had a wonderful meal. I found out what dorm lee livesin . its not far but not close. a good 10 minute walk. I also found out that the town he lives in is only like a 15 minute drive from my town. I was very excited to hear that. AND, we also exchanged phone numbers!!! WOOT!!! So we eat and were walking out and lee has to go in the opposite direction as everyone else so he says goodbye to us. And like that, we part ways, and off he goes.

it was just so, magical. I just dont know what to do anymore. im in love for sure.

Lee: The facts

2010-04-04T12:49:00.002-04:00

ok so i was thinking about lee this morning and i realized that i havent really ever explained what lee looks like. So im going to tell you all what he looks like and everything else i really know.

ok so hes slim and about my height. Around 6 foot. he has short blond hair that is sooooo cute on him. I just want to run my fingers thru it. he has brown eyes like me. hes just so cute. ummm hes a freshman and im not sure yet where he lives on campus.

shit i guess thats all i know. damn. um well i hope ill get to know more tomorrow.

also my birthday is coming up. soooo u know, gifts are fun. :)

could it be im falling in love?

2010-03-31T23:42:00.002-04:00

what a wonderful day. just perfect. :)

It was just so nice outside. Shorts and a t shirt. Got to my media class early and sat with my friends. I was on the lookout for lee tho. I wanted him to sit next to me. So im looking and looking at the people walking in. No lee. class is just about to start. no lee. So im disappointed. I turn back to face the front and notice someone sitting next to me. LEE!!!!!!! I didnt even notice him. I looked at him and was like "where the fuck did u come from?" he was like "the side door."

i just laughed and we started talking. we ended up talking for the entire class. We talked about just about everything. sports(he doesnt know much), cafateria food, we made fun of people sitting around us. It was just so nice. We instantly clicked. we were talking like we were best friends. it was NUTS!!!! and those legs. o man. i cant describe them. way to perfect. So class ended, we got up and walked out, and lee said "see ya monday" and i was like "bye" and i watched him walk away. my friends were confused. fuck em.

haha so over all a great day. hes something.

success!

2010-03-29T22:17:00.003-04:00

So i went to media class and i looked everywhere for mystery boy. No luck. I sat in class disappointed for an hour and a half.

But on the way out of class, who happens to be walking right next to me? mystery boy. So im kinda just staring at his beauty, and he notices and smiles. then our conversation started.

mystery boy: "you sat next to me last wednesday didnt you?"

me: "um yeah"

mystery boy: "howd u do on the test?"

me: "got an 88. u?"

mystery boy: "92"

me: "damn"

mystery boy: "Im lee by the way" he extended his hand

me: "im dan" i shook his hand

mystery boy: "nice to meet u dan. maybe ill see u around sometime"

me: "yeah..."

then he turned left while i was going right. and he was gone. Lee. my goodness. I want u.

(haha i was so nervous)

so theres this boy.....

2010-03-25T14:35:00.003-04:00

......who i know nothing about.

I went to my media class yesterday. It was absolutely beautiful outside, but i had to go to stupid class cause i had a test. Now normally i sit with my friends, but on test days they sit u all randomly. Lucky for me, i was put next to this fucking absolutely gorgeous, beautiful, cute boy. I almost didnt finish my test because i was staring at his legs the whole time. the legs on this boy, mouthwatering. So I was talkingg to matt about it, and i told him that this mystery boy gave off the vibe. Like, he didnt act gay or anything, but i just got this vibe from him. So matt told me to sit next to him on mondays class and ask him about the test. I think its a good idea so i think im gonna do it. Whats the worst that could happen?

im just tired of thinking 'what if?'

god hes SOOOOOOOOO cute

sorry for the confusion

2010-03-23T23:47:00.003-04:00

sorry about the justin bieber post. i looked at it a few hours after i wrote it, and was like, this is so stupid. so i deleted it. haha sorry.

in other news, i saw james today. playing football this time. I was soooo tempted to join, but i didnt. I guess hes pretty good friends with my friend clay.

thats really it. not a whole lot to say right now.

the end of a cute shirtless frisbee player

2010-03-21T10:48:00.002-04:00

well, he has a girlfriend.

i was walking to lunch with my room mate and i saw him holding hands with this girl. at one point they kissed. so thats that.

im not like upset or anything. It not like we were like close to dating or anything like that. I fucking just met him 6 days ago. But the thing thats got me right now is how bad i want a boyfriend. i really just want someone to hold and cuddle nd kiss and all that fun shit. and idk, i guess i thought james could possibly be boyfriend material. idk.

DINNER with a cute shirtless frisbee player

2010-03-19T11:19:00.002-04:00

So wednesday was pretty uneventful. It was gorgeous outside, but i didnt really do anything. But yesterday is a different story. I woke up close to 11 and watched the view(i know, gay) and at 1140 i headed off to class. On my way to class I saw a small group of boys, maybe 4 of them, walking out of the dorm across from mine. I thought one of them could be james, but i couldnt see to well, so i just kept walking. I kept looking at him to see if i could recognize him. After all, ive never seen him with a shirt and shoes on. So sure enough, he waves to me. So i smile and wave back. I had to get to class and they werent going in my direction so that was it.....until later.

So i get back from class, chill for a little, then go to my 330 class. got out around 445 and went to my room. Me and my room mate alex decided to grad some food so we went to the dining hall. Had a pretty so-so meal and got back to the room by close to 530. We didnt go in the front door, so i wasnt aware of any frisbee game going on out front. When i got back to my room, i heard some yelling and shouting and laughing, so i looked out the window and sure enough, james and about 3 others, including my friend Clay, were tossing around the frisbee. I said why not and i went out side to join. I got outside and clay spotted me and asked to join. I said yes of corse and we started tossing around the frisbee. It wasnt as hot out so no ones shirt was off, but it was still nice admiring the cute boys i was playing with, especially james. so after about half an hour of tossing around the frisbee, james grabbed the frisbee and walked toward me and clay. He was like "im gonna go get some food, you guys wanna join?" i couldnt pass up this opportunity, so i said "id love too" Clay agreed so we went to eat. I didnt eat a whole lot, but everyone else sure did. So we were sitting and talking about school and the weather and shit like that. I didnt really learn anything new about james tho. I would have liked to. The conversation never really went there. So we ate our food and james said he had a fun time and that we should do it again sometime. I of corse said yes. So we all got up and walked back toward our dorms. I wasnt really talking much, just listening to everything. It was nice. We got to me and clays dorm and and said goodbye. James waved and said see you tomorrow. his ass looked so delicious walking away. i wanted to bury my face in it. haha.

So yea, got back to my room and played xbox all night. It was a great day. And who knows, maybe ill see him again today. he did say see you tomorrow.

flirting with a cute shirtless frisbee player

2010-03-17T14:39:00.002-04:00

So the weather last friday saturday sunday and monday sucked. Friday saturday and sunday it rained all day, and monday it was overcast. it was just shitty weather. So when i woke up yesterday to the sun shining through my window, i felt like a million bucks. i was feeling fantastic. I checked my email and my teacher had canceled my noon class. The day was just starting off so well. I went to my 330 class, which was the tits. My teacher was cracking jokes and it was just great. So after class, on my way back to my dorm, i saw a beautiful sight. On the lawn right in front of my dorm were maybe 6 shirtless boys throwing the frisbee around. My god were some of these boys cute. And their bodies were fantastic. Smooth and thin. YUM!! So as i walked by, my friend Clay noticed me and invited me to play. At first I hesitated, but looking back at the boys i couldnt say no. So i dropped my back pack, took of my shirt, shoes and socks, and got into the game. It was really fun. And my god, the eye candy. I was drooling. So after about 45 minutes, people started calling it a day. I was heading for my bag and shirt when the cutest boy of them all came up and introduced himself. He was a little shorter than me, with semi long blond hair and these gorgeous blue eyes. And his slim body was just, man o man i wanted to lick the sweat off of his chest. Anyway, he reached out his hand and said his name was James. I told him My name was Dan, and we got to talking. We talked about sports and classes and our majors. He told me he was a freshman and he lived in the dorm right across from mine. So there we were, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and talking like we were best friends. It was really nuts. We must have talked for a good 15-20 minutes before he said he had to go get cleaned up for dinner. We said goodbye and he was off. I grabbed my stuff, went in and took a shower. Needless to say, i jerked off in the shower. HAHA. The whole experience was just something. It was a tuesday I most certainly wont forget in a long long time.

And who knows, todays even nicer than yesterday. Maybe ill see him again.....

FINALLY FREE

2010-03-15T22:50:00.002-04:00

So I was sitting at home on sunday, watching tv and drinking limeade. Aaron and I had made plans to hang out because I wasnt going to see him again till summer. So i was sitting in my room waiting for him to call. He said he would be free around 630 but when he hadnt called by 700 I decided to go for a drive. You see, when im sitting at home and its getting dark outside and i have nothing to do, i like to go driving. Its a good time to think and just listen to great music. So im driving around, and i just start thinking about my life and shit. I start thinking about aaron and all the shit weve been through. I got to thinking about how fucking madly in love with him i was, and i realized that i no longer have that feeling. Like, Im thinking about Aaron, and im just not in love with him any more. I dont see him that way anymore. And I just felt so happy. He finally called at 745 and i went over there at 830. When i got there we got some pizza and just had a blast. It was just like the old times back in 10th grade when we were thick as thieves. And when I was leaving, HE was the one who gave ME the hug. not the other way around. It was just fantastic. And when i got home, the only feeling i felt was happiness. Dont get me wrong, ill always have a special place in my heart for aaron, but right now im just happy that i finally can say im over him. Its good to have my friend back.

ok well i have 2 tests this week and i need my beauty sleep. later.

Romeo

2010-03-14T01:56:00.002-05:00

Who wants to be my Romeo?

i feel amazing

2010-03-08T13:36:00.003-05:00

so aaron came over on saturday. We watched a movie and then he had to go home. it was really a good time. Then last night me and a bunch of friends went to his house to watch the oscars. It was great. I feel amazing. I tried something new. I didnt treat him like a boyfriend. I simply treated him like a friend. I didnt hug him when i left, i didnt go into his room and smell all his clothes. It was wonderful. I really fell good. and today, im back at school, and the sun is out and its just a beautiful day. I think things are turning around.

heres a cute boy to go with my awesome mood.

i would literally lick this boy all over. i bet he tastes like dove chocolate.

Dilema

2010-03-02T08:29:00.002-05:00

ok so aarons coming home for spring break soon. Im on spring break now and ill be going back to school like 3 days after he gets home. And I really just dont want to see him. I would love it if i didnt see him again till summer. I just dont want to deal with the whole thing. cause im gonna end up feeling like shit if i see him and i just dont want that. idk. at the same time i kinda want to see him. i mean, fuck. idk. Im going to see him no matter what cause our group of friends is having a small get together. ugh.

Music and Daily Dan #1

2010-02-25T09:29:00.004-05:00

First I just wanted to give a shout out to Landyn and Ed. They've got some bad shit going on in their lives. feel better guys.

So music. music is the tits. I just love it. When you feel like shit or you just want to get away from it all, theres music. So starting today, every now and again when i dont have shit to post about, ill write a post about music, called Music and Daily Dan. Ill show you a song and tell you about how it makes me feel and a specific moment i had with the song. Today will be post number 1.

So a while back, not to long after the aaron thing really cam to a head, i was feeling pretty shitty. It was 2 in the morning and I couldnt sleep and i was just laying in bed. So i got up and decided to go to meijer, which is open 24/7. For the people who live in places where there isnt a meijer, its a huge grocery store. think kroger times 100. Its like my favorite store. But anyway, i live really close, so i just got in my car and drove there. I walked in and headed down toward the sports shit. I get there and i start looking around and i just cant stop thinking about aaron. Then i notice this song start playing over the PA system or whatever.

(ignore the spanish)

I had heard the song before, but right then at meijer, the store empty, me alone and feeling shitty, everything just made sense.

"Holding back the years

Chance for me to escape from all I've known
Holding back the tears
Cause nothing here has grown
I've wasted all my tears
Wasted all those years
And nothing had the chance to be good
Nothing ever could yeah

I'll keep holding on"

The lyrics just made sense. it was a crazy experience.

ok thats it for number 1. look out for number 2!

weird dream

2010-02-23T11:11:00.002-05:00

i had a really weird dream last night. it was me, aaron, and someone else, i dont remember, all at the gym. we were about to play basketball when my 9th grade gym teacher walks in and tell us to get down. so me and aaron get down and for some reason get under a blanket. so theres like 6 people scattered around the room and me and aaron are under this blanket. we start talking and hes telling me how he went skinning dipping with one of his friends named tess. Then somehow we were both naked and he was laying on his side and i was behind him holding him and running my hand over him from his arm to just were his ass started. we just kept talking for a while, not sure what about, but i kept going further with my hand and before to long i was running my hand over him from his arm to bellow his ass. then i got bold and quickly reached over and touched his dick, and i right as i touched it i pulled back and turned around and just kept apologizing. he was like its ok its ok. then we turned on the tv and i woke up.

wtf does that mean? it was weird but i woke up with a boner. haha

fuck me

2010-02-16T01:03:00.003-05:00

so last night definitely took a turn for the worst. i started getting that feeling for aaron again. but i noticed something. it wasnt as strong. it was like, more dull than usual. And all night i kept telling my self that there was nothing i could do. and this feeling of happiness started to creep in. like, i was feeling happy for him for finding someone.

like right now, i feel that feeling a little inside, but its barely there. itll be gone soon.

so idk. maybe i actually am getting over him. i sure hope so.

WTF

2010-02-14T15:45:00.002-05:00

I ACTUALLY HAD FUN?!?!?

The weekend was the TITS.

Me and my two friends got to aarons at like 10:00 pm and there was already a party at his house. It was sick. his room mates are awesome and his house mates are just as fucking awesome. We went to a basketball game, went out to dinner, toured the campus. It was awesome.

I got to talk to a lot of people about aaron. Everyone loves him. People call him grandma because hes so nice and gives advice to everyone. He doesnt smoke weed, he rarely drinks, and he "doesnt get any pussy" and no one knows about this girlfriend except for me. So hes basically the same he was in high school.

I definitely dont like him having a girlfriend, but the whole time i was there, i felt like i kinda lost a part of him. Like, its stupid of me to keep hoping for something that will never come. and him getting a girlfriend was like a big wakeup call.

idk whatever. I feel pretty good about everything. im still alone, but im glad hes not. just wish he could be my boyfriend.

welcome home comp and visiting aaron

2010-02-12T10:18:00.003-05:00

got my comp back yesterday. its was hell not having it. i was bored all the time. how did they do it 50 years ago?

im going to visit aaron at college today and staying till sunday. At first i was really excited, but now im not as much. We were texting eachother about it and he told me that he has a girlfriend. i told him that it didnt sit well with me and that it hurt. He called after i sent that text which made me feel a little better. He basically told me that he really wanted to see me and that i was like his best friend and that he was bound to get a girlfriend eventually. And i mean, it was not fun hearing that he has a gf, but it was nice to hear him say all that. and I really should understand that hes into girls and i just need to let go. easier said than done.

well im gonna nap. i guess were about to hit up some parties tonight. cya later.

A good man down

2010-02-07T14:21:00.001-05:00

my comps broke. sent it in to get fixed. not having a comp is gona blow. Plus i need to write a paper by tuesday. fuck.

ill post more once i get my boy back. i hope my porn doesnt get deleted...

Logan

2010-02-01T01:16:00.001-05:00

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH the things I would do to logan lerman........

Hes my biggest celebrity crush.

swamped

2010-01-30T23:28:00.002-05:00

i have so much school work to do. A sociology test on monday, a psychology test on tuesday, I have a paper to do by tuesday, i have 2 online quizzes for alcohol and drug awareness. UGH!!!!

I hate all this work. But i gotta do it.

So yeah just checking in. Hope everyone is doing ok, especially AJ, hope u feel better after the accident.

Sorry about the lack of posts as of late. Im just swamped. Ill be back soon.

college

2010-01-23T12:42:00.002-05:00

So ive been getting asked what my major is by some people. I dont have one. For a long time i thought i wanted to be a history major and then i would teach like high school kids as a job. But after taking my history classes, it kinda changed my mind. So as of right now, i have no idea. History is still my best and favorite subject, so i might go back to it.

So lately, there has been a huge amount of cute boys running around. its crazy. its like every where i look, theres a cute boy, and all i can do is undress them with my eyes. Theres this cute flamboyant gay kid in my psychology class, and id love to get some of that ass. But the only way i feel i can really get anything is if i come out. so who knows, i might just come out pretty soon here. we'll see.

miss u guys on msn. i hate being this busy. matt, sorry i havent been on as much. we'll talk soon.

later.

vicodin

2010-01-20T01:40:00.002-05:00

sorry about the last post. I had an ear infection and for some reason they gave me vicodin. It made me feel very happy. haha.

So yeah anyway, im pretty much over aaron. Everyone was right, it did just take a few days.

Ive been really busy with this new semester of school. New classes, new schedule, new everything. its pretty nuts.

So just a quick little update. I should be back to normal posting after this week. Cute boy for

ya?

im good

2010-01-17T23:16:00.002-05:00

its all good. im over him. easy peasy. but it wont last. it never does.....

so just a quick update. if this is weird or anything, its probably because im on some sort of drug.

sorry

im fucked

2010-01-10T00:55:00.003-05:00

well my breaks over. going back to school tomorrow. I dont want to go back. I like it at home to much.

Who wants to here some good news and bad news? good news first? sounds good to me.

Good news- im in love

Bad news- im in love with aaron

its only fucking been 3 weeks and im fucking in love with him again. i can feel it deep inside my tummy. Its real. Its fucking real, and i hate myself. Why the fuck is this happening? When i first saw him over break it was nice, but as break progressed, it got worse. i wanted to see him everyday. I wanted to hear his voice, to touch him, to joke around with him. And now hes gone. he left earlier today. I slept over at his house last night, and he took off his shit when he went to bed. my god hes beautiful. every part of him takes my breath away. hes so soft. he smells so good. hes one of the nicest people i know. I feel like i cant go on living without him. I want him so bad. but i cant have him, and that hurts more than anything.

what am i suppose to do? what the fuck am i suppose to do? It hurts so bad. This is the most depressed ive been in a long time. What the FUCK am i suppose to do? im fucking CRYING right now! WHY!?!?!?! i wish i could go back it time and prevent me from ever meeting him. They say that its better to have love lost than to never have loved at all. I disagree. having love lost is the worse feeling in the world.

PLUGS!!!!!!

2010-01-05T00:45:00.002-05:00

dont have a lot of time, but i wanted to let you know about a new blogger.

DAWNRAVE

check him out. hes really brand new and he deserves some readers. From what i read, hes a pretty good guy. Just like all of us.

And if you're a blogger who wants me to plug them, let me know. Its hard for me to find all the fresh meat in blogland, so just let me know!

happy new year and fuck me

2010-01-01T11:55:00.002-05:00

Hope everyone had a fun new year. mine was great. Went to a party, accidentally caused the fire alarm to go off, and ran through a shit load of people to escape. It was a really fun night. After that i went back to aarons and stayed over.

Wanna know what sucks? i have that feeling in my stomach again. That feeling of falling in love. I cant stop thinking about aaron. Its bad. I just want to be with him all the time. ugh. What is it about him that drives me so crazy? it pisses me off. but im sure once i go back to school, ill be back to normal. right? i hope.

future of blogland

2009-12-30T09:51:00.012-05:00

Thanks to all the wonderful comments. They all made a lot of sense. Hopefully ill man up and

do something about the overlapping thing soon. idk. life is hard.

So after i read Mirrorboys post about how his life in blogland is coming to an end, it got me thinking. Who's gonna take over as king of blog world? I mean, thats a huge responsibility. I think mirrorboy should appoint some one. or maybe blogworld can just exist without a king. Is mirrorboy even king? idk what im saying. One things certain tho. When morrorboy leaves, it will be a sad, sad day.

So i was surfing the web and i cam across some pictures. U know whos looking hot?.....

cole sprouse. hes looking yummy.

so steve, im tired of missing you on msn, so pick a day when you know you can talk, and ill be on. SOund good?

a lot of shit

2009-12-29T10:46:00.002-05:00

So yesterday my family had some old family friends over. It was my family, family A and Family B. So three families all together. So heres some history.

Family A: Back when I lived in my other house, I was best friends with logan, who is the son in family A. We were like, tight as fuck. We did everything together. He was the first boy i fooled around with. And a while after that we kinda drifted apart. He went the skateboard punk way and i went the football athlete way. Then when i moved to my current house, which was across town, we basically stopped being friends. This was like, 5 years ago.

Family B: Lauren, my first girlfriend, is the daughter in family B. My parents knew theres a long time ago and then use kids were introduced and yada yada yada. So i dont really remember much, cause i was like 13-14, but we were in Lauren's room and we were fooling around and her dad walked in on us. It was awkward, and i guess i repressed that memory.

Ok so all of the families were together after years of not seeing each other. The parents were all upstairs drinking and having fun, and all the kids were in the basement. It wasnt as awkward as i thought it would be, but i would always think to myself "we did gay shit together" or "her dad walked in on us." And it was just kinda weird. Like, i know they both remember, and im sure they were thinking about it too. And then later in the night all the parents and kids were together and i would look at laurens dad and be like, shit, he knows what we did, what does he think about me?

It was just an interesting evening. Just thought id share that with you.

Another thing that i was thinking about earlier was like how everyone sees me as this kid who plays basketball and football and tries to act all tough and shit, but then when im alone in my room, i drool over naked boys and dream about falling in love. Its like, im living in two different worlds that are always kept apart, and never overlap. But i kinda want them to at some point overlap. I want to be at the mall and have everyone see me as i am, a sports fanatic and manly man, but i want to be there with my boyfriend, holding hands and being all in love. I hope that makes sense. Idk. Im just in a writing mood.

Ok well, i have some checks to cash and some shit to do, so thats all from me. I better get some comments. This thing took me an hour to write.

friends

2009-12-26T10:21:00.002-05:00

So I hope everyone had a merry christmas and a happy hanaka(spelling?)

i got some dvds and some shirts and all that. I didnt really ask for much so whatevs. i did get close to 500 bucks tho, so yay.

So the other day, i was with all my old friends from high school. It was the first time we had all gotten together. So at first im sitting there having a good time, but after a while i start getting really annoyed. So i look around at them all laughing at some stupid story and i ask myself "these are my friends?" It was like, wtf happened to all of them. They've all changed, and i dont like the new them. And i mean, i dont really care. Its just wtf happened to al of them. So i just make fun of them all the time, and it works out fine, but i miss the old them. Oh well.

Ok, hope everyone is good. I got some shit to do.

dont be mad...

2009-12-20T12:12:00.002-05:00

im not closing my blog. It was a combination of me wanting to see how people reacted, and to see what it was like to feel free from the whole thing. And let me tell ya, not having to really worry about my blog felt good. but i missed it.

And to the 3 people who sent me emails, thank you a lot. And thanks to all the comments, i was really considering shutting this down. Now im not. Someone close to me told me that they think ive recently been writing for the wrong reasons, and i agree. i need to go back to my normal writing. i dont really know what that is, but ill figure it out.

As for the future, im not gonna be shutting this blog down any time soon. and when i do, ill be sure to tell u why. im not gonna leave u hanging.

its over

2009-12-18T14:22:00.001-05:00

im done. blogs closed.

quick update

2009-12-17T00:06:00.002-05:00

well im going home tomorrow. cant fucking wait. i really needed a break. me and my room mate were getting sick of eachother. whatevs. 3 weeks will do me good. so us good.

so im gonna jack off soon so ill talk to u later.

pros and cons

2009-12-11T09:08:00.004-05:00

I got a lovely email from Biki a little while back. She talked about my situation with Tyler and asked me what was the worse thing that would happen if I asked him out. It really got me thinking. What is the worse thing? So I'm gonna weigh the pros and cons and you guys get to comment with your thoughts. Sound good?

Pros
-get a boyfriend
-have sex for the first time in 4 years
-if the bf thing doesn't work out, maybe get a good friend
-see what it feels like to have someone love me as much as I love them.

Cons
-he says no

ok well anyone else have any? Had a hard time thinking of cons. There really is only one. He says no. Really kinda helps the whole "just ask him out" argument.

Thanksgiving

2009-12-07T08:39:00.002-05:00

So thanksgiving break was good. Got home home wednesday and had lunch with some friends. Hung out with Aaron for a while. Went to his house and got dinner. He looked really good. Cute as fuck.

Thursday was thanksgiving and me and the family went to my grandparents house. My grandpa was being a dick and my mom was getting pissed so when we were leaving she told my brother and sister and I to take a good look around the house because it was going to be the last time we ever see it. My dad thought it was funny as shit.

Friday was the big party day. Me and all my friends went to dinner. There was about 8 of us. After dinner we went to my house where we played beer pong for a while. It wasnt as good as the last party. We were suppose to wake up and go out to breakfast but everyone left at like 2 in the morning. I didnt really give a shit.

Saturday I worked on my paper for history class. Got it done in about 3 hours so it wasnt that bad. Then I hung out with friends again. Spent about 70$ on food thanks to some "herb" we smoked. It was the highest id ever been.

SUnday i packed and had breakfast with the family and was back at school by 4.

So overall it was pretty fun. One major thing i noticed was my feelings for aaron. They came back. Whenever I was with him I just wanted to kiss him and hold him and tell him i love him. I thought about him a lot. But the minute i got back to school, i didnt care anymore. This moment is the first time ive thought about him since. But the whole thing scares me.

Bored in class

2009-12-02T09:42:00.002-05:00

Things are different this week. Weird kid to my left talked tome today. Something about him being sick and missing all of last week. Too bad for him, he missed some important shit. Looks like the chubby kid in the front got a haircut. Makes his face look more fat. Kid directly behind him looks high. Probably smoked to make this class more bareable. Kid a few rows in front of me is named Tyler. He's probably gay. Almost every Tyler I know is gay. Just noticed the kid to my left has an ear ring. He's got a dumb face. Probably doesn't know a lot. The girl behind him looks more dressed up today. Normally it looks like she just woke up, but today it looks like she spent a while making herself look better. Probably for a boy.

Ok well I'll update u on my thanksgiving break soon.

Hmmm

2009-11-25T09:32:00.002-05:00

This class is too fucking long. Tick tock tick tock. Fuck me. My throat is killing me. Derp derp derp. So how am I suppose to approach this Tyler situation? Can I just ask him out? I mean my plan was to just go up to him one night after were hanging out at ethans and ask him if he was interested in seeing a movie or getting some food. Sounds good right? But I'm afraid he will say no. Maybe he'll aks me out. No. I can't wait for that. I need to take action. If I want somethingbad enough, I have to go out and get it.

So last night I was extra horny so I got a banana and....well....u get he idea. It was fun and I came a lot. Good times.
So I'm going home today for thanksgiving. Should be fun.

Not to pleased about the lack of comments as of late. Fix it.

i wasnt gone long

2009-11-22T12:12:00.001-05:00

i cant stop thinking about tyler. i didnt see him yesterday. he didnt show up, and i didnt ask why. It seems like every night before bed i just imagine me and him together. walking in the mall, swimming at the pool, sitting on the couch watching tv. its like this virus inside of me that wont go away, and i dont want it to. But i do want the real thing. i want to feel his soft lips and run my fingers across his soft little butt. god hes so fucking adorable.

so yeah, as u can see i didnt stay away long. i thought a lot about it yesterday and my problem was that i felt like i HAD to make a post even when i didnt have anything to say. So from now on, im only gonna post when i have something i wanna say. Much like today.

ok thats it. oh and i went to bestbuy today, and the cashier was this really cute gay guy. How could i tell he was gay? I could just tell.

confession

2009-11-21T00:29:00.002-05:00

so i have something to confess. Im sick of blogworld. ive been finding it extremely difficult to write a good post. Its like, i dunno, im just in a funk. so im gonna tell u whats happening in the next few days and then i probably wont post for a while. Sorry.

Ok so im probably going to see tyler tomorrow. some little football party. im kinda nervous and excited. it should be fun. Next week is thanksgiving and school is closed for a few days. All my old friends and I are getting together and having a party. Gonna be fun.

thats really it for now. so ill talk to u when i talk to u.

bored as balls

2009-11-18T23:00:00.002-05:00

1. Name? (screen name is fine)
Dan

2. Are you a boy or girl?
boy

3. How old are you?
18

4. Are you straight, gay, bi or unsure
gay

5. Whats your favorite color?
red

6. Whats your favorite food?
thats a hard one. Ummmm hot dogs i think.

7. If you could choose only one type of food for the rest of you life, what type would it be? (ex. Italian, chinese, french, etc.)
american

8. How tall are you?
little over 6 feet

9. Hair color?
black

10. Whats your favorite movie?
the shawshank redemption

11. Favorite book?
where the red fern grows

12. Favorite tv show?
breaking bad

13. What are your hobbies?
jerking off, driving my car, watching tv, playing xbox, hanging with friends.

14. What is the #1 thing that grosses you out?
spiders.

15. Are you a virgin?
nope

16. If no, how far have you gone? (list both with boys and girls)
i put my p in a girls v

17. Are you athletic? What sports?
quite. Football and basketball.

18. For guys: How big are you? (you know what I mean... lol) Are you cut or uncut?
almost 7 inches cut

19. For girls: Whats your bra size?
ewww

20. Are you happy with your size?
always could be bigger

21. Do you like, tolerate or get disgusted when you see an attractive person of the opposite sex?
i could care less. a good looking person is a good looking person.

22. What do you want to do with your life?
no idea.

23. Do you masturbate? how many times a day?
yes. 2 times a day for the past 10 years

24. Do you have a "special" toy? (again you all know what I mean... lol)
nope

25. Have you ever broken a bone or had another serious injury or sickness? Explain.
nope.

26. What do you think is your most attractive feature?
my hair, right mirrorboy?

27. What do you think is your least attractive feature?
my thighs

28. If there is one thing in your life you could change, what would that be?
id like more money

29. Are you in a relationship? explain a little (boy, girl, short term, long term, etc)
nope. im planning on asking a boy out at some point.

30. When was the last time you got some sexual action? (of any type)
damn. um 4 years ago.

31. Mac or PC?
mac

32. Iphone, Blackberry, other PDA, or regular cell phone?
regular cell phone. but i do have a ipod touch

33. Do you have any pets? Which ones?
dog. hes a little guy who i miss.

34. For gay and bi guys: Are you a top or bottom?
top

35. Whats the one thing in your life you are most proud of?
my care free attitude

36. Where is the weirdest place you masturbated or had sex?
the capital building

37. Most number of times you came in a day?
6

38. What are you most afraid of?
spiders

39. Favorite porn star?
keith connors as of tight now.

40. Do you have a blog? What is it?

your reading it

good night

2009-11-15T02:40:00.002-05:00

tonight was a good night.

Started out today by going out with a friend to get his tattoo. While we were waiting there, this really cute guy was getting a tattoo on his chest and he had to take his shirt off and omg he was soooo yummy. hahaha. it was hard not to stare. Then, one of my friends parents was in town and they took me 3 of us out to dinner. WHile we were there we had this really cute waiter. Jake was his name. He was really cute. Couldnt help but stare at him too. Then we went back to my friends dorm and then went to a party. I had a few "drinks" and im a bit tipsy right now. Im trying real hard to write normally.

So anyway, this whole tyler thing is weird. Like whenever i think of him, i get this feeling in my stomach. its the same feeing i used to get whenever i thought about aaron. But i dont feel like that anymore about aaron. Now, its tyler. So i think i like him more than i think.

Idk, i felt like i should post more often, and i figured why not when i get back from this party. Idk what im really saying right now, but im horny and im gonna go jerk off. Ok bye.

Finally some free time

2009-11-12T09:36:00.002-05:00

I'm really sorry about my absence. I've been super busy with school and we are picking classes for next semester and I had to make sure I knew what I needed to take and shit.

So anyway, I'm in my math class and were talking about shit I already know so I'm not paying attention.

Ok so Tyler. We were talking and I kind of hinted at the fact that I liked boys. So I guess he figured it out because he pretty much asked and so I explained the whole thing to him. I told him about Aaron and how I first started to notice feelings about boys in 6th grade. He was really nice about the whole thing. But I never really gotthe feeling he was at all interested. Like, I told him thank you and that I hoped to see him back home, and his responce was "glad I could help". He didn't even acknolage the fact that I wanted to get together with him at home.
So the whole conversation kinda changed my mind about him. Like, id love to date him and all, and I'd love to be his boyfriend, but right now, I'm not gonna worry about it. My new plan is to talk to him every now and again, and then when summer hits, I'm gonna ask him out. Then, if he says yes, we'll have all summer to "get to know eachother".

He did tell me I should just come out and tell everyone, and everyday I feel like I should just do it. So it looks like soon, I'm gonna be coming out to everyone. Who knows.

Ok that's it. I shouldn't be as busy after tomorrow, so look for me on msn. Ok. Adios.

sorry folks

2009-11-08T03:18:00.002-05:00

so im really sorry i havent posted anything about tyler yet. I really didnt want to leave u guys hanging. but this weekend was super busy. So i just wanted to let u know im still alive and all is well. ill post all about the tyler thing soon. I promise.

so a little bit of info to wet your whistles. I dont know how i feel about him anymore.

i did it

2009-11-03T18:54:00.001-05:00

i told him.

progress

2009-11-03T08:28:00.003-05:00

im making some serious progress with tyler. im about 2 emails away from telling him. im kinda nervous, but excited also.

So i found out yesterday that my ex girlfriend knows im gay. Shes dating one of my best friends and he told her. I was pissed at first but like, i dont really care right now.

Well since nothings eally going on, i thought id do one of these to pass the time. enjoy

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
my hair, then i brush my teeth, then i wash my body.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
black

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
in a heartbeat

4. Do you plan outfits every day?
nope

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
pretty awesome.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
my phone, my ipod, my boxers

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
i was eating a lot of pudding and i threw up on my sister(i hate pudding)

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
not yet

9. What are you craving right now?
coffee

10. Do you floss?
nope

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
gross

12. Are you emotional?
not on the outside, but i feel things on the inside

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
why would i?

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
when i want to eat it fast, i bite. when i want it to last, i lick.

15. Do you like your hair?
very much so

16. Do you like yourself?
yep. im kick ass. =)

17. Would you go out to eat with George Bush?
i would eat with anyone, as long as they pay

18. What are you listening to right now?
with a little help from my friends by the beatles

19. Are your parents strict?
nope. they're laid back and fun

20. Would you go sky diving?
nope. im afraid of heights.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
no way

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
nope

23. Do you rent movies often?
not really, but i have netflix.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
a birthday ballon

25. How many countries have you visited?
none. only the U.S.A. id like to go to england australia france and germany.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
tons of them.

27. Ever been on a train?
just last friday

28. Brown or white eggs?
white

29. Do you have a cell-phone?
who doesnt?

30. Do you use chap stick?
never really needed too. my lips never get chapped

31. Do you own a gun?
no but my dad does

32. Can you use chop sticks?
i try all the time

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
my room mates

34. Are you too forgiving?
very much so

35. Ever been in love?
once.....

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
no clue.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
yep. delicious

38. Last time you cried?
a while ago. it was after i watched a sad movie. Schindlers list i think

39. What was the last question you asked?
where did u put the peanutbutter?

40. Favorite time of the year?
spring.

41. Do you have any tattoos?
not yet.

42. Are you sarcastic?
extremely

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
bits and pieces. not bad.

44.Ever walked into a wall?
many times.

45. Favorite color?
red

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
hell yea. my brother, my friends. many people

47. Is your hair curly?
nope. it can get wavey

48. What was the last CD you bought?
some steely dan cd.

49. Do looks matter?
very much so. its the first thing u see about a person. but personality is more important in the long run.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
doubt it. its just so bad.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
no clue. parents pay for it

52. Do you like your life right now?
i do. life is easy.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
nope

54. Can you handle the truth?
always

55. Do you have good vision?
its not horrible. i need glasses to se far away but i dont wear them often

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
o yeah. without a doubt.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
not often. i text a lot tho.

58. The last person you held hands with?
aaron

59. What are you wearing?
jeans, tshirt, hoodie

60.What is your favorite animal?
moose. not sure why

61. Where was your default picture taken at?
outerspace

62. Can you hula hoop?
for a little while

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
dinner

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
all the time. back i the day i would sneak out and do crazy shit

ok well ill keep ya posted on the tyler thing.