hello again

IM HOME!!!! actually ive been home for over a week. After spending a week with the same people, when i got home i just didnt want to deal with anything. so i didnt blog, didnt go on msn, barely tweeted. it was a nice little break. but now im back!

so my trip was pretty awesome. California is amazing. the weather is gorgeous. We went to universal studios, disney land, the san diego zoo, hollywood. It was awesome. And flying was really a piece of cake.

there were billions of cute boys. it was ridiculous. its like they have them in bulk over there. I fantasized about so many boys. it was pretty awesome.

got home and just chilled with friends. didnt see lee till tuesday. aaron was really getting on my nerves on monday. im most definitely over him. but damn, im still very sexually attracted to him. hes so sexy to me.

and whats weird is, during my trip, i really didnt miss lee. i feel like i missed my dog more than i missed lee. and when i got home i was just like meh. i didnt really care if i saw him or didnt. but the minute he got here i ripped his clothes off and had my way with him. its like after not seeing him for over a week and then finally having him in front of me, it like reminded me that i can do anything i want to this boy. so i did. amazing.

school starts in a little less than 2 weeks. im ready to go back. so is lee.

so yeah just a nice little update. i didnt really go into great detail, so if anyone has any questions about anything, please ask. ill answer asap.

Vacation

so im off to california! ill be gone a week so you probably wont hear from me till then.

sorry i havent been posting as much. busy i am.

Cya in a week!!!

-Dan

depressed

ive been kinda down in the dumps lately. ive just been thinking to much.

summers over in a month and then im back off to school. it went by way to fast. what did i manage to accomplish? nothing. i didnt get a job. i just sat around being lazy. i literally was the most insignificant thing on the earth. i didnt contribute to society at all. im just a bum. a lazy fucking bum with no prospects at all. my future is doomed. im going to end up bagging groceries for the rest of my life.

im surrounded by all these people who love me. my friends, family, lee. but for some reason i feel so fucking alone. i feel like i have no one who i can really talk to about things. i can only tell you guys certain things. i can only tell my friends certain things. i can only tell lee certain things. i need someone who i can tell everything to. im tired of living so many different lives. its killing me.

i just want to cry.

Lee

i miss lee. like bad. i dont get it. like the second he left, i immediately wanted him back. everything i do is better with him. eating, sleeping, walking, burping, jerking off. he makes everything so much more enjoyable.

and im scared. i never thought i could ever be this into another person. i know i wanted to with aaron, but now that its with lee, its scary.

is lee the one i want to spend the rest of my life with? as of right now, yeah.

idk maybe im just fucked up this week.

a weekend to remember (im running out of titles)

so i left for lees on friday. got there and we just hung out for a while until like 4, when we heard talking coming from downstairs. So we walk down and lees mom and dad are sitting at the table with a young woman and some dude. The woman got up and her and lee hugged. Lee was pretty excited. He introduced me, as his boyfriend, to his sister melanie, and his sisters husband bill. we all sat down and immeditly i fell in love with her. shes awesome. she kept making gay jokes that were hilarious. me and lee were laughing but lees parents were like "oh my". bill was off on the phone somewhere for a while. i guess hes a real estate agent in chicago. idk.

anyway we all talk for a while and we order a pizza and lee, melanie, bill and i all played monopoly. Bill was pretty cool. he played football in highschool so we talked for a while about that. not bad looking either. the night wound down and me and lee went off to bed.

the next day i didnt wake up till 1230. lee made me some toast and we got dressed and went downtown. we were down there for a long ass time. we were just walking around. we ran into a few of lees friends. i will never get tired of hearing lee introduce me as his boyfriend. got back late and passed out.

next day me and lee just sat for a while. played some xbox and all that. dinner time was coming up and i was invited to join lees parents, melanie and bill out to olive garden. i of corse said yes. so we get there and our waiter comes over and is absolutely gorgeous. just a really cute guy. so he takes out drink order and right when he leaves melanie says "wow you two. your mouths must be watering." lee turned red and i burst out laughing. lees mom shot a dirty look at melanie. pretty good dinner.

next day, or this morning, i left early so i could say goodbye to my dad before he left for some conference in washington.

so yeah pretty nice trip to lees. i really do love him. fuck aaron. he missed out.

ass so nice, had to look twice

so last weekend my friend john invited me up to his lake house to go boating and all that fun stuff. He also invited my friends sam, bob, and............aaron, who was home for the weekend.

So we get there and change into our swim suits and immediately my eyes are fixated on aaron. my god. gorgeous. his once bare chest had a little wisp of hair. and his ass. that juicy succulent ass. what i wouldnt do to dive dick deep into that perfectly molded boy butt. no offense to lee, but aaron has a much nicer butt. So i basically spent the entire day staring at him, which i could do because lee wasnt there and i had those sunglasses where u cant see what the person is looking at.

So it was a pretty great day. when i got home i started thinking about what would happen if aaron called me up and was like "i made a mistake. i love u. lets fuck." like, what would i do? i dont like the idea of me just leaving lee the minute aaron says i wanna fuck u. u know? thats not good. But like, aaron is aaron. i feel like i would have an extremely hard time turning him down. I have a boyfriend who i love and would do anything for, but would i turn aaron away? idk. and i hate myself for not knowing. good thing it will never happen tho.

and about my mom. she didnt say "i know u fuck lee in the basement." what happened was my dad said to me and my brother, "find a woman just like her" and my mom said "or a man"

at which point i kinda turned and left. awkward.

anyway, off to lees tomorrow. i need to get out of this house.

deep stuff

so lee stayed over for a while this week and on wednesday lee said something that made me think about our future together. We were at the mall in sears walking past the washing machines when lee stopped.

lee: do u think were gonna be able to afford a nice washing machine when were married?
me: uhhhhhh......i.....hope?

i was pretty surprised. i really didnt know how to answer. so later when we got back to my place, i asked him about it.

me: so, we're getting married?
lee: huh?
me: u said earlier in the mall we were getting married and buying nice washing machines
lee: o yeah. idk i just kinda said it. have u never thought about it?
me: about us getting married?
lee: yeah
me: not really no
lee: oh. well i was thinking about it a few days ago.
me: and?
lee: well i really like u obviously and i feel like we really connect. Like, i think we should move in together next year.
me: damn.
lee: sorry. forget i said anything.
me: no no dont be sorry. its just ive never really thought about this before. its all pretty new thinking.
lee: i understand. will u think about it? its only the seed on an idea.
me: ill definitely think about it.

so heres me thinking about it.

i love lee. i would love nothing more than to be with him all day everyday. but moving in together is huge. marriage is huge. now if we have an argument, we have our own houses to cool off at. like, i can leave and he can leave. but once we move in together, we are always together. i also feel like once we move in together, thats it. im locked into this relationship. which is fine i guess. idk.

not sure what to do.