So ive been getting asked what my major is by some people. I dont have one. For a long time i thought i wanted to be a history major and then i would teach like high school kids as a job. But after taking my history classes, it kinda changed my mind. So as of right now, i have no idea. History is still my best and favorite subject, so i might go back to it.
So lately, there has been a huge amount of cute boys running around. its crazy. its like every where i look, theres a cute boy, and all i can do is undress them with my eyes. Theres this cute flamboyant gay kid in my psychology class, and id love to get some of that ass. But the only way i feel i can really get anything is if i come out. so who knows, i might just come out pretty soon here. we'll see.
miss u guys on msn. i hate being this busy. matt, sorry i havent been on as much. we'll talk soon.
well my breaks over. going back to school tomorrow. I dont want to go back. I like it at home to much.
Who wants to here some good news and bad news? good news first? sounds good to me.
Good news- im in love
Bad news- im in love with aaron
its only fucking been 3 weeks and im fucking in love with him again. i can feel it deep inside my tummy. Its real. Its fucking real, and i hate myself. Why the fuck is this happening? When i first saw him over break it was nice, but as break progressed, it got worse. i wanted to see him everyday. I wanted to hear his voice, to touch him, to joke around with him. And now hes gone. he left earlier today. I slept over at his house last night, and he took off his shit when he went to bed. my god hes beautiful. every part of him takes my breath away. hes so soft. he smells so good. hes one of the nicest people i know. I feel like i cant go on living without him. I want him so bad. but i cant have him, and that hurts more than anything.
what am i suppose to do? what the fuck am i suppose to do? It hurts so bad. This is the most depressed ive been in a long time. What the FUCK am i suppose to do? im fucking CRYING right now! WHY!?!?!?! i wish i could go back it time and prevent me from ever meeting him. They say that its better to have love lost than to never have loved at all. I disagree. having love lost is the worse feeling in the world.
Hope everyone had a fun new year. mine was great. Went to a party, accidentally caused the fire alarm to go off, and ran through a shit load of people to escape. It was a really fun night. After that i went back to aarons and stayed over.
Wanna know what sucks? i have that feeling in my stomach again. That feeling of falling in love. I cant stop thinking about aaron. Its bad. I just want to be with him all the time. ugh. What is it about him that drives me so crazy? it pisses me off. but im sure once i go back to school, ill be back to normal. right? i hope.