Thursday, February 25, 2010

Music and Daily Dan #1

First I just wanted to give a shout out to Landyn and Ed. They've got some bad shit going on in their lives. feel better guys.

So music. music is the tits. I just love it. When you feel like shit or you just want to get away from it all, theres music. So starting today, every now and again when i dont have shit to post about, ill write a post about music, called Music and Daily Dan. Ill show you a song and tell you about how it makes me feel and a specific moment i had with the song. Today will be post number 1.

So a while back, not to long after the aaron thing really cam to a head, i was feeling pretty shitty. It was 2 in the morning and I couldnt sleep and i was just laying in bed. So i got up and decided to go to meijer, which is open 24/7. For the people who live in places where there isnt a meijer, its a huge grocery store. think kroger times 100. Its like my favorite store. But anyway, i live really close, so i just got in my car and drove there. I walked in and headed down toward the sports shit. I get there and i start looking around and i just cant stop thinking about aaron. Then i notice this song start playing over the PA system or whatever.

(ignore the spanish)

I had heard the song before, but right then at meijer, the store empty, me alone and feeling shitty, everything just made sense.

"Holding back the years
Chance for me to escape from all I've known
Holding back the tears
Cause nothing here has grown
I've wasted all my tears
Wasted all those years
And nothing had the chance to be good
Nothing ever could yeah

I'll keep holding on"

The lyrics just made sense. it was a crazy experience.

ok thats it for number 1. look out for number 2!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

weird dream

i had a really weird dream last night. it was me, aaron, and someone else, i dont remember, all at the gym. we were about to play basketball when my 9th grade gym teacher walks in and tell us to get down. so me and aaron get down and for some reason get under a blanket. so theres like 6 people scattered around the room and me and aaron are under this blanket. we start talking and hes telling me how he went skinning dipping with one of his friends named tess. Then somehow we were both naked and he was laying on his side and i was behind him holding him and running my hand over him from his arm to just were his ass started. we just kept talking for a while, not sure what about, but i kept going further with my hand and before to long i was running my hand over him from his arm to bellow his ass. then i got bold and quickly reached over and touched his dick, and i right as i touched it i pulled back and turned around and just kept apologizing. he was like its ok its ok. then we turned on the tv and i woke up.

wtf does that mean? it was weird but i woke up with a boner. haha

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

fuck me

so last night definitely took a turn for the worst. i started getting that feeling for aaron again. but i noticed something. it wasnt as strong. it was like, more dull than usual. And all night i kept telling my self that there was nothing i could do. and this feeling of happiness started to creep in. like, i was feeling happy for him for finding someone.

like right now, i feel that feeling a little inside, but its barely there. itll be gone soon.

so idk. maybe i actually am getting over him. i sure hope so.

Sunday, February 14, 2010



The weekend was the TITS.

Me and my two friends got to aarons at like 10:00 pm and there was already a party at his house. It was sick. his room mates are awesome and his house mates are just as fucking awesome. We went to a basketball game, went out to dinner, toured the campus. It was awesome.
I got to talk to a lot of people about aaron. Everyone loves him. People call him grandma because hes so nice and gives advice to everyone. He doesnt smoke weed, he rarely drinks, and he "doesnt get any pussy" and no one knows about this girlfriend except for me. So hes basically the same he was in high school.
I definitely dont like him having a girlfriend, but the whole time i was there, i felt like i kinda lost a part of him. Like, its stupid of me to keep hoping for something that will never come. and him getting a girlfriend was like a big wakeup call.

idk whatever. I feel pretty good about everything. im still alone, but im glad hes not. just wish he could be my boyfriend.

Friday, February 12, 2010

welcome home comp and visiting aaron

got my comp back yesterday. its was hell not having it. i was bored all the time. how did they do it 50 years ago?

im going to visit aaron at college today and staying till sunday. At first i was really excited, but now im not as much. We were texting eachother about it and he told me that he has a girlfriend. i told him that it didnt sit well with me and that it hurt. He called after i sent that text which made me feel a little better. He basically told me that he really wanted to see me and that i was like his best friend and that he was bound to get a girlfriend eventually. And i mean, it was not fun hearing that he has a gf, but it was nice to hear him say all that. and I really should understand that hes into girls and i just need to let go. easier said than done.

well im gonna nap. i guess were about to hit up some parties tonight. cya later.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

A good man down

my comps broke. sent it in to get fixed. not having a comp is gona blow. Plus i need to write a paper by tuesday. fuck.

ill post more once i get my boy back. i hope my porn doesnt get deleted...

Monday, February 1, 2010


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH the things I would do to logan lerman........

Hes my biggest celebrity crush.