Wednesday, November 25, 2009


This class is too fucking long. Tick tock tick tock. Fuck me. My throat is killing me. Derp derp derp. So how am I suppose to approach this Tyler situation? Can I just ask him out? I mean my plan was to just go up to him one night after were hanging out at ethans and ask him if he was interested in seeing a movie or getting some food. Sounds good right? But I'm afraid he will say no. Maybe he'll aks me out. No. I can't wait for that. I need to take action. If I want somethingbad enough, I have to go out and get it.

So last night I was extra horny so I got a banana and....well....u get he idea. It was fun and I came a lot. Good times.
So I'm going home today for thanksgiving. Should be fun.

Not to pleased about the lack of comments as of late. Fix it.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

i wasnt gone long

i cant stop thinking about tyler. i didnt see him yesterday. he didnt show up, and i didnt ask why. It seems like every night before bed i just imagine me and him together. walking in the mall, swimming at the pool, sitting on the couch watching tv. its like this virus inside of me that wont go away, and i dont want it to. But i do want the real thing. i want to feel his soft lips and run my fingers across his soft little butt. god hes so fucking adorable.

so yeah, as u can see i didnt stay away long. i thought a lot about it yesterday and my problem was that i felt like i HAD to make a post even when i didnt have anything to say. So from now on, im only gonna post when i have something i wanna say. Much like today.

ok thats it. oh and i went to bestbuy today, and the cashier was this really cute gay guy. How could i tell he was gay? I could just tell.

Saturday, November 21, 2009


so i have something to confess. Im sick of blogworld. ive been finding it extremely difficult to write a good post. Its like, i dunno, im just in a funk. so im gonna tell u whats happening in the next few days and then i probably wont post for a while. Sorry.

Ok so im probably going to see tyler tomorrow. some little football party. im kinda nervous and excited. it should be fun. Next week is thanksgiving and school is closed for a few days. All my old friends and I are getting together and having a party. Gonna be fun.

thats really it for now. so ill talk to u when i talk to u.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

bored as balls

1. Name? (screen name is fine)

2. Are you a boy or girl?

3. How old are you?

4. Are you straight, gay, bi or unsure

5. Whats your favorite color?

6. Whats your favorite food?
thats a hard one. Ummmm hot dogs i think.

7. If you could choose only one type of food for the rest of you life, what type would it be? (ex. Italian, chinese, french, etc.)

8. How tall are you?
little over 6 feet

9. Hair color?

10. Whats your favorite movie?
the shawshank redemption

11. Favorite book?
where the red fern grows

12. Favorite tv show?
breaking bad

13. What are your hobbies?
jerking off, driving my car, watching tv, playing xbox, hanging with friends.

14. What is the #1 thing that grosses you out?

15. Are you a virgin?

16. If no, how far have you gone? (list both with boys and girls)
i put my p in a girls v

17. Are you athletic? What sports?
quite. Football and basketball.

18. For guys: How big are you? (you know what I mean... lol) Are you cut or uncut?
almost 7 inches cut

19. For girls: Whats your bra size?

20. Are you happy with your size?
always could be bigger

21. Do you like, tolerate or get disgusted when you see an attractive person of the opposite sex?
i could care less. a good looking person is a good looking person.

22. What do you want to do with your life?
no idea.

23. Do you masturbate? how many times a day?
yes. 2 times a day for the past 10 years

24. Do you have a "special" toy? (again you all know what I mean... lol)

25. Have you ever broken a bone or had another serious injury or sickness? Explain.

26. What do you think is your most attractive feature?
my hair, right mirrorboy?

27. What do you think is your least attractive feature?
my thighs

28. If there is one thing in your life you could change, what would that be?
id like more money

29. Are you in a relationship? explain a little (boy, girl, short term, long term, etc)
nope. im planning on asking a boy out at some point.

30. When was the last time you got some sexual action? (of any type)
damn. um 4 years ago.

31. Mac or PC?

32. Iphone, Blackberry, other PDA, or regular cell phone?
regular cell phone. but i do have a ipod touch

33. Do you have any pets? Which ones?
dog. hes a little guy who i miss.

34. For gay and bi guys: Are you a top or bottom?

35. Whats the one thing in your life you are most proud of?
my care free attitude

36. Where is the weirdest place you masturbated or had sex?
the capital building

37. Most number of times you came in a day?

38. What are you most afraid of?

39. Favorite porn star?
keith connors as of tight now.

40. Do you have a blog? What is it?
your reading it

Sunday, November 15, 2009

good night

tonight was a good night.

Started out today by going out with a friend to get his tattoo. While we were waiting there, this really cute guy was getting a tattoo on his chest and he had to take his shirt off and omg he was soooo yummy. hahaha. it was hard not to stare. Then, one of my friends parents was in town and they took me 3 of us out to dinner. WHile we were there we had this really cute waiter. Jake was his name. He was really cute. Couldnt help but stare at him too. Then we went back to my friends dorm and then went to a party. I had a few "drinks" and im a bit tipsy right now. Im trying real hard to write normally.

So anyway, this whole tyler thing is weird. Like whenever i think of him, i get this feeling in my stomach. its the same feeing i used to get whenever i thought about aaron. But i dont feel like that anymore about aaron. Now, its tyler. So i think i like him more than i think.

Idk, i felt like i should post more often, and i figured why not when i get back from this party. Idk what im really saying right now, but im horny and im gonna go jerk off. Ok bye.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Finally some free time

I'm really sorry about my absence. I've been super busy with school and we are picking classes for next semester and I had to make sure I knew what I needed to take and shit.

So anyway, I'm in my math class and were talking about shit I already know so I'm not paying attention.

Ok so Tyler. We were talking and I kind of hinted at the fact that I liked boys. So I guess he figured it out because he pretty much asked and so I explained the whole thing to him. I told him about Aaron and how I first started to notice feelings about boys in 6th grade. He was really nice about the whole thing. But I never really gotthe feeling he was at all interested. Like, I told him thank you and that I hoped to see him back home, and his responce was "glad I could help". He didn't even acknolage the fact that I wanted to get together with him at home.
So the whole conversation kinda changed my mind about him. Like, id love to date him and all, and I'd love to be his boyfriend, but right now, I'm not gonna worry about it. My new plan is to talk to him every now and again, and then when summer hits, I'm gonna ask him out. Then, if he says yes, we'll have all summer to "get to know eachother".

He did tell me I should just come out and tell everyone, and everyday I feel like I should just do it. So it looks like soon, I'm gonna be coming out to everyone. Who knows.

Ok that's it. I shouldn't be as busy after tomorrow, so look for me on msn. Ok. Adios.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

sorry folks

so im really sorry i havent posted anything about tyler yet. I really didnt want to leave u guys hanging. but this weekend was super busy. So i just wanted to let u know im still alive and all is well. ill post all about the tyler thing soon. I promise.

so a little bit of info to wet your whistles. I dont know how i feel about him anymore.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

i did it

i told him.


im making some serious progress with tyler. im about 2 emails away from telling him. im kinda nervous, but excited also.

So i found out yesterday that my ex girlfriend knows im gay. Shes dating one of my best friends and he told her. I was pissed at first but like, i dont really care right now.

Well since nothings eally going on, i thought id do one of these to pass the time. enjoy

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
my hair, then i brush my teeth, then i wash my body.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
in a heartbeat

4. Do you plan outfits every day?

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
pretty awesome.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
my phone, my ipod, my boxers

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
i was eating a lot of pudding and i threw up on my sister(i hate pudding)

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
not yet

9. What are you craving right now?

10. Do you floss?

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?

12. Are you emotional?
not on the outside, but i feel things on the inside

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
why would i?

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
when i want to eat it fast, i bite. when i want it to last, i lick.

15. Do you like your hair?
very much so

16. Do you like yourself?
yep. im kick ass. =)

17. Would you go out to eat with George Bush?
i would eat with anyone, as long as they pay

18. What are you listening to right now?
with a little help from my friends by the beatles

19. Are your parents strict?
nope. they're laid back and fun

20. Would you go sky diving?
nope. im afraid of heights.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
no way

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?

23. Do you rent movies often?
not really, but i have netflix.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
a birthday ballon

25. How many countries have you visited?
none. only the U.S.A. id like to go to england australia france and germany.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
tons of them.

27. Ever been on a train?
just last friday

28. Brown or white eggs?

29. Do you have a cell-phone?
who doesnt?

30. Do you use chap stick?
never really needed too. my lips never get chapped

31. Do you own a gun?
no but my dad does

32. Can you use chop sticks?
i try all the time

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
my room mates

34. Are you too forgiving?
very much so

35. Ever been in love?

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
no clue.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
yep. delicious

38. Last time you cried?
a while ago. it was after i watched a sad movie. Schindlers list i think

39. What was the last question you asked?
where did u put the peanutbutter?

40. Favorite time of the year?

41. Do you have any tattoos?
not yet.

42. Are you sarcastic?

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
bits and pieces. not bad.

44.Ever walked into a wall?
many times.

45. Favorite color?

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
hell yea. my brother, my friends. many people

47. Is your hair curly?
nope. it can get wavey

48. What was the last CD you bought?
some steely dan cd.

49. Do looks matter?
very much so. its the first thing u see about a person. but personality is more important in the long run.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
doubt it. its just so bad.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
no clue. parents pay for it

52. Do you like your life right now?
i do. life is easy.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?

54. Can you handle the truth?

55. Do you have good vision?
its not horrible. i need glasses to se far away but i dont wear them often

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
o yeah. without a doubt.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
not often. i text a lot tho.

58. The last person you held hands with?

59. What are you wearing?
jeans, tshirt, hoodie

60.What is your favorite animal?
moose. not sure why

61. Where was your default picture taken at?

62. Can you hula hoop?
for a little while

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
all the time. back i the day i would sneak out and do crazy shit

ok well ill keep ya posted on the tyler thing.

Monday, November 2, 2009


thanks to everyone for their comments. it seems like everyone is saying the same thing. So im gonna tell him, and heres how.....

im not gonna tell him in person because, as my illustration shows....

......we are miles aways from each other. im at college here, and hes at college back home. So yesterday, i sent him an email saying that hed have to tell me about the mormon thing someother time. So last night i checked my email and he replied with the story, along with an apology about being busy. I havnt responded yet.

So the plan is to continue our conversation. Im gonna ask him how he feels about this gay thing or that gay thing, all the time lightly hinting at the fact that im gay. And after a little bit of this, if he hasnt figured it out by then, im gonna tell him.

pretty ingenious i know.

ok thanks again for the comments on the last post. And about the one post no one saw, it was asking for help, but i figured it out pretty soon after i posted it.

p.s. i dont have tylers phone number. people think i do but i dont. =)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

A little more help

sorry for the long absence. I went home for the weekend and i was really busy.

ok so to catch u guys up....

If you'll remember from one of my previous posts, when Tyler came to visit he was talking to me about laviticus. So sometime last week i came across this...
So i sent it too him. He thought it was funny and wanted me to go home so he could tell me about how he bitched some homophobic guy out. I told him i was going home and that we should get together. He didnt respond directly to me asked one of our friends if we all wanted to get lunch on saturday. i of corse said yes. So later that night, i get a text from our friend saying that lunch was cancelled. i was dissapointed. Also, i didnt hear about any of this once from tyler. So i didnt see him once this weekend.

So ive talked to a few people about the whole thing and they all tell me i should just tell him im gay already and see what happens. But idk. its easier said that done. But like, what do i have to be afraid of? hes gay. so he cant be like, ewww. But its scary.

so as u can see, im confused and i would love some advice from all my readers. Any thoughts?

i have a monster headache so im gonna go lay down. laterz.