Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
-get a boyfriend
-have sex for the first time in 4 years
-if the bf thing doesn't work out, maybe get a good friend
-see what it feels like to have someone love me as much as I love them.
-he says no
ok well anyone else have any? Had a hard time thinking of cons. There really is only one. He says no. Really kinda helps the whole "just ask him out" argument.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Thursday was thanksgiving and me and the family went to my grandparents house. My grandpa was being a dick and my mom was getting pissed so when we were leaving she told my brother and sister and I to take a good look around the house because it was going to be the last time we ever see it. My dad thought it was funny as shit.
Friday was the big party day. Me and all my friends went to dinner. There was about 8 of us. After dinner we went to my house where we played beer pong for a while. It wasnt as good as the last party. We were suppose to wake up and go out to breakfast but everyone left at like 2 in the morning. I didnt really give a shit.
Saturday I worked on my paper for history class. Got it done in about 3 hours so it wasnt that bad. Then I hung out with friends again. Spent about 70$ on food thanks to some "herb" we smoked. It was the highest id ever been.
SUnday i packed and had breakfast with the family and was back at school by 4.
So overall it was pretty fun. One major thing i noticed was my feelings for aaron. They came back. Whenever I was with him I just wanted to kiss him and hold him and tell him i love him. I thought about him a lot. But the minute i got back to school, i didnt care anymore. This moment is the first time ive thought about him since. But the whole thing scares me.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Ok well I'll update u on my thanksgiving break soon.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
So last night I was extra horny so I got a banana and....well....u get he idea. It was fun and I came a lot. Good times.
So I'm going home today for thanksgiving. Should be fun.
Not to pleased about the lack of comments as of late. Fix it.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
2. Are you a boy or girl?
3. How old are you?
4. Are you straight, gay, bi or unsure
5. Whats your favorite color?
6. Whats your favorite food?
thats a hard one. Ummmm hot dogs i think.
7. If you could choose only one type of food for the rest of you life, what type would it be? (ex. Italian, chinese, french, etc.)
8. How tall are you?
little over 6 feet
9. Hair color?
10. Whats your favorite movie?
the shawshank redemption
11. Favorite book?
where the red fern grows
12. Favorite tv show?
13. What are your hobbies?
jerking off, driving my car, watching tv, playing xbox, hanging with friends.
14. What is the #1 thing that grosses you out?
15. Are you a virgin?
16. If no, how far have you gone? (list both with boys and girls)
i put my p in a girls v
17. Are you athletic? What sports?
quite. Football and basketball.
18. For guys: How big are you? (you know what I mean... lol) Are you cut or uncut?
almost 7 inches cut
19. For girls: Whats your bra size?
20. Are you happy with your size?
always could be bigger
21. Do you like, tolerate or get disgusted when you see an attractive person of the opposite sex?
i could care less. a good looking person is a good looking person.
22. What do you want to do with your life?
23. Do you masturbate? how many times a day?
yes. 2 times a day for the past 10 years
24. Do you have a "special" toy? (again you all know what I mean... lol)
25. Have you ever broken a bone or had another serious injury or sickness? Explain.
26. What do you think is your most attractive feature?
my hair, right mirrorboy?
27. What do you think is your least attractive feature?
28. If there is one thing in your life you could change, what would that be?
id like more money
29. Are you in a relationship? explain a little (boy, girl, short term, long term, etc)
nope. im planning on asking a boy out at some point.
30. When was the last time you got some sexual action? (of any type)
damn. um 4 years ago.
31. Mac or PC?
32. Iphone, Blackberry, other PDA, or regular cell phone?
regular cell phone. but i do have a ipod touch
33. Do you have any pets? Which ones?
dog. hes a little guy who i miss.
34. For gay and bi guys: Are you a top or bottom?
35. Whats the one thing in your life you are most proud of?
my care free attitude
36. Where is the weirdest place you masturbated or had sex?
the capital building
37. Most number of times you came in a day?
38. What are you most afraid of?
39. Favorite porn star?
keith connors as of tight now.
40. Do you have a blog? What is it?
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Started out today by going out with a friend to get his tattoo. While we were waiting there, this really cute guy was getting a tattoo on his chest and he had to take his shirt off and omg he was soooo yummy. hahaha. it was hard not to stare. Then, one of my friends parents was in town and they took me 3 of us out to dinner. WHile we were there we had this really cute waiter. Jake was his name. He was really cute. Couldnt help but stare at him too. Then we went back to my friends dorm and then went to a party. I had a few "drinks" and im a bit tipsy right now. Im trying real hard to write normally.
So anyway, this whole tyler thing is weird. Like whenever i think of him, i get this feeling in my stomach. its the same feeing i used to get whenever i thought about aaron. But i dont feel like that anymore about aaron. Now, its tyler. So i think i like him more than i think.
Idk, i felt like i should post more often, and i figured why not when i get back from this party. Idk what im really saying right now, but im horny and im gonna go jerk off. Ok bye.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
So anyway, I'm in my math class and were talking about shit I already know so I'm not paying attention.
Ok so Tyler. We were talking and I kind of hinted at the fact that I liked boys. So I guess he figured it out because he pretty much asked and so I explained the whole thing to him. I told him about Aaron and how I first started to notice feelings about boys in 6th grade. He was really nice about the whole thing. But I never really gotthe feeling he was at all interested. Like, I told him thank you and that I hoped to see him back home, and his responce was "glad I could help". He didn't even acknolage the fact that I wanted to get together with him at home.
So the whole conversation kinda changed my mind about him. Like, id love to date him and all, and I'd love to be his boyfriend, but right now, I'm not gonna worry about it. My new plan is to talk to him every now and again, and then when summer hits, I'm gonna ask him out. Then, if he says yes, we'll have all summer to "get to know eachother".
He did tell me I should just come out and tell everyone, and everyday I feel like I should just do it. So it looks like soon, I'm gonna be coming out to everyone. Who knows.
Ok that's it. I shouldn't be as busy after tomorrow, so look for me on msn. Ok. Adios.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
my hair, then i brush my teeth, then i wash my body.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
in a heartbeat
4. Do you plan outfits every day?
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
my phone, my ipod, my boxers
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
i was eating a lot of pudding and i threw up on my sister(i hate pudding)
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
9. What are you craving right now?
10. Do you floss?
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
12. Are you emotional?
not on the outside, but i feel things on the inside
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
why would i?
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
when i want to eat it fast, i bite. when i want it to last, i lick.
15. Do you like your hair?
very much so
16. Do you like yourself?
yep. im kick ass. =)
17. Would you go out to eat with George Bush?
i would eat with anyone, as long as they pay
18. What are you listening to right now?
with a little help from my friends by the beatles
19. Are your parents strict?
nope. they're laid back and fun
20. Would you go sky diving?
nope. im afraid of heights.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
23. Do you rent movies often?
not really, but i have netflix.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
a birthday ballon
25. How many countries have you visited?
none. only the U.S.A. id like to go to england australia france and germany.
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
tons of them.
27. Ever been on a train?
just last friday
28. Brown or white eggs?
29. Do you have a cell-phone?
30. Do you use chap stick?
never really needed too. my lips never get chapped
31. Do you own a gun?
no but my dad does
32. Can you use chop sticks?
i try all the time
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
my room mates
34. Are you too forgiving?
very much so
35. Ever been in love?
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
37. Ever have cream puffs?
38. Last time you cried?
a while ago. it was after i watched a sad movie. Schindlers list i think
39. What was the last question you asked?
where did u put the peanutbutter?
40. Favorite time of the year?
41. Do you have any tattoos?
42. Are you sarcastic?
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
bits and pieces. not bad.
44.Ever walked into a wall?
45. Favorite color?
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
hell yea. my brother, my friends. many people
47. Is your hair curly?
nope. it can get wavey
48. What was the last CD you bought?
some steely dan cd.
49. Do looks matter?
very much so. its the first thing u see about a person. but personality is more important in the long run.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
doubt it. its just so bad.
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
no clue. parents pay for it
52. Do you like your life right now?
i do. life is easy.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
54. Can you handle the truth?
55. Do you have good vision?
its not horrible. i need glasses to se far away but i dont wear them often
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
o yeah. without a doubt.
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
not often. i text a lot tho.
58. The last person you held hands with?
59. What are you wearing?
jeans, tshirt, hoodie
60.What is your favorite animal?
moose. not sure why
61. Where was your default picture taken at?
62. Can you hula hoop?
for a little while
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
all the time. back i the day i would sneak out and do crazy shit
Monday, November 2, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Ok so there's my good friend and room mate Ethan. We've known eachother since 4th grade but this past summer is when we starte hanging out more and we became pretty goodfriends. Now when I strted hanging ou. With him, I got integrate into his friend group.
Tyler is a really good friend of ethans. They go to the gym together and is normally over when I go over. Tylers also the boy I've got a crush on, for those of u who don't remember.
Megan is another really good friend of ethans and even a better friend to Tyler. She's pretty awesome and I'm pretty sure has a crush on me. What can I say, I am pretty irresistable.
Luke is another friend who I actually knew before this whole thong. We were in th same math class in 10th grade. He's really good friends with Megan and Ethan, and kinda with Tyler.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
On Monday I had this huge history exam. I studied like a mother fucker, but it was still pretty tough. I think I get it back today, so fingers crossed.
I remember people telling me how fun college is, but it takes time to adjust. I really had no problem adjusting. College is great. I love everything about it. I'm the type of person who does what needs to be done. If I need to go to class, I'll go with no problem. If I need to write a paper, I'll do it no problem. That probably my favorite thing about me. If there's a task at hand, I'm gonna do it.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
As most of u know, I came out to my best friends a while ago. It was hard but i'm glad I did it. Anyway, I was thinking a lot about it and there are a few things I wish I would have done earlier.
I wish I had come out earlier. Like in 9th grade. Waiting until a week before college starts was not what I wanted. I would have been able to maybe find a boyfriend and I would know who my real friends would be. I also wish I would have accepted the fact that I was gay. I shouldn't have wasted 6th years of trying to pretend I was something I wasn't.
Life is just to confusing. There's that saying that you only live once and that you should just do it so u don't regret not doing it. I agree, but there's another side to it. You only live once, so don't do something to make the rest of your life shitty and miserable.
This is a lame post. I hate it. Whatevs, I'm close to 100 so stand by.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I met this boy yesterday. Didn't get a name but we shared some small talk. He's gorgeous. He's like the popular kid who's friends with everyone. He's so nice and calm about things. We talked at breakfast this morning. He has an earing in his left ear. He's just so....."pretty".
It's hard to explain. He might very possibly be gay. Like 80% of the boys living in my dorm are gay and guess what, he lives in my dorm.
I woke up with a throbbing boner again this morning. It was like mad at me. So I gave it what it wanted. It seems like mondays and Wednesdays are my big ass boner days.
It's really cold outside and I guess that means the school likes to crank up the fucking heat. It's like a fuck sauna in this son of a bitch. UGH!
I havnt been home in a month. That's the longest I've ever been away from home. Do I miss it? Not really. But I do miss my car. I love driving and it's been a while. I'm going home next weekend and I'm pretty excited to go driving.
I'm way to picky. I can always find a fault in people. I'm to judgemental. I need to be more open minded. But that's a hard thing to do. It's just something I do naturally. Can someone just rewire the way they think? I dint think so. The only person I've ever found to be absolutly perfect is Aaron. And I know all of u are gonna be like "no ones perfect". That may be true for you, but Aaron was perfect in every single way. And that's kinda what i'm talking about. To me, he was perfect. And I think deep down, I'm looking for someone like him. Someone perfect. That's why I'm having so much trouble finding someone. I need to come to terms with the fact that I probably will never find anyone like him. Just something I'm gonna need to work on, or I'll just end up chasing after something that isn't there.
I've been avoiding the fact for a long time, but I really miss Aaron. Everytime he pops in my head I just ignore it, but it's there. I miss him. I miss the way he smiles, the way he smells, the way he feels. I even miss the way he pisses me off. Fuck
I shouldn't have started thinking about him. Now I'm all depressed.
I'll talk to u guys later.
It's true what they say too. Only love can break your heart.
Monday, September 28, 2009
I was reading something online yesterday about jerking off. It said that people who jerk off a lot are so in love with themselves that they don't make relationships with others. I think I might fall into that catagory.
Haha I'm making funny faces at people. They must think I'm crazy. Fuck em haha. My tummy hurts. I wish I didn't eat that sausage for breakfast.
This class has no cute boys in it. It sucks. I have nothing to stare at.
Jesus fuck Christ in bored as shit. My I pod has this auto spell check thing that makes sure I capitalize words that should be capitalized. Normally I wouldn't be this gramatically correct. Capitalizing Jesus and Christ? Not something I'd do.
It finally rained yesterday. It had been like a month. It was very welcome. It's actually raining right now.
I had such a huge boner this morning. It was throbbing. I waited till I was alone and then I jerked it. It felt so good.
OMG class just got let out. That never happens. Class ends at 950 and he let us out at 930. That's unbelievable. Now what am I suppose to do. I have a class at 1000 and it's literaly right next door. I have half an hour to burn. I'll just go to my other class.
Well I got to my other class and it was just me and this girl. She asked to see my notes from Friday and of course i said yes. I like to maintain a level of kindness.
Alright that's it I'm done. Hope u enjoyed this extremely random post. I'm closing in on 100!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
So yesterday i went college shopping with my 3 friends who are all going to the same college as me. ones actually my room mate. i didnt buy anything, but i had a lot of fun. then latter last night i hooked up with a really old friend and we went to some kids house and 4 of us played beer pong. i was killing it. it was just amazing how well i was playing. And after a while, people started taking their clothes off and i saw some nice bodies. =) woke up at like 9, an hour before everyone, and just daydreamed. had a good little thought about making out with aaron when he was drunk that one night. had a good one with tyler where i show up where he works and hes behind the counter and i say "hey babe" and lean over the counter and we kiss. i like that one a lot cause its like were boyfriends hehe =)
so im not sure about my current mood and why im so happy. its nice tho. think i might see if tyler wants to go out to dinner or somethin. we'll see.
and before i go, i just wanted to send a special thanks to Planetx_123, or steve, at Lions, Tigers, and Science... oh my! he always gives really great advise and his comments are always very well written and just really good. so thanks steve!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
i thought a lot about shit. i even thought about shutting down my blog, and i was really considering it. it was just no good. then, after a while, i fell asleep. i woke up about an our later, and then hoped in the shower. as i was washing my hair i looked down at my chest and i saw this like strand of shampoo running down and it reminded me of blood. and it really got me thinking about life, and how its not worth it to just waste life on feeling depressed and feeling sad. and it made me feel.....much better. i also realized that theres no way i can just stop this blog. i love writing in it to much. and i love all my followers and commenters. so thats not gonna happen.
So i got out of the shower and went and got some dinner and just enjoyed it. i wasnt upset anymore. i was happy. it was kinda weird.
so at about 700 i got a text from my friend eric and he told me there was this movie party thing going on at his house and i should show up at 8. of corse i wanted to go, so i did. i got there and and we waited for everyone to arrive, and who shows up? tyler. i was kinda pleasantly surprised. so he cam over and sat down next to me on the couch. he wasnt like next next, but he was on the same couch. so we talked a while and when everyone showed up we started the movie. we watched trainspotting. it was pretty good. so after the movie we just talked a while and people slowly started leaving, and it ended up just be me, tyler and eric. we talked for a long time. i definatly feel like me and tyler and getting to know each other better. and i think, maybe, he likes me. idk. it was good to get aaron out of my head, and tyler always seems to do a good job of doing that. but he was talking about how he hadnt been sexually active in a long time, which kinda made me feel.....weird. idk. i didnt like thinking of him getting more action than me. whatevs. so he left at like 3 in the morning and i left soon after. The three of us made plans to get dinner and see a movie tonight. so im excited. were seeing inglorious basterds. itll be the third time seeing it for me. its soooooooo good.
anyway, sorry for the long post. its kinda a weird one. o well. thanks for reading.
Monday, August 24, 2009
im gonna go to bed. sleep this thing off.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
A Black Closet Case- Nice guy and a nice blog. Havent talked to him yet, but anyone who emails me has to be cool, right?
Saturday, August 8, 2009
so it was me and 2 other friends and he came over, and at first it was kinda awkward. like idk. but it got me thinking. hes gay. im gay. i read gay blogs. maybe he does too. and if he does, then maybe hes come across mine. it kinda got me really nervous.
But after a while of playing monopoly, things got normal. we had a great time. At some point he was like "i smell degree deodorant" and im like "i wear degree" and he was like "thats what my ex boyfriend used to wear." haha that made me happy. so we got some food and drove around. we even sat really close on the couch. And he was wearing shorts and his legs just looked soooo yummy. And when i got home, i was in the shower and i was thinking about him, and i involuntarily licked my lips. haha. im falling pretty hard here. kinda scary. Like, porn doesnt even interest me anymore. i cant fucking jack off. its been like 3 days, which is really long for me. fuck.
i mean shit, i BARELY FUCKING KNOW HIM!!!! how can i be sooo hung up on this one boy? and i just cant see myself just up and asking him out. if i knew him better sure, but i mean.....idk. probably just one of my lame excuses.
and another thing. if i was to ask him out, i would more than likely have to come out of the closet. and idk if im ready for that yet. fuck i should be. fuck im such a pussy. idk. life is sooooo fucking hard. fuck fuck fuck.
o well. ill figure it out. and tyler, if u do read this, lemme know. PLEASE!!!! call me or something. eric has my number. text me and say "strange weather isnt it?" that will be our code.
haha if that works, i will be soooo happy.
ok well sorry for that. my mind is not with me tonight. im lost in love.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
I'm suppose to hang out with him tonight and I'm really gonna try to at least get his phone number. I really do want to see how far we can take things. I really like him.
I have this feeling deep down that I haven't felt in 4 years. I feel free.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
this whole tyler thing is amazing tho. like, i havent had a crush on a boy in a loooooong time. i really wouldnt call my thing with aaron a crush. i didnt have a crush on him, i was in love with him. and the last 4 years ive been in love with him, and now, finally, i can finally think about another boy for a while. its really nice. this tyler thing is really just.....fantastic. i cant stop thinking about him. i just cant say it enough. like, its soooooooo good to not think about aaron. god its nuts. fuck.
i have a crush. on a boy named tyler.
Monday, August 3, 2009
As of right now, I'm doing everything in my power to get in tylers pants. I'm just gonna go for this one. I figure I deserve some ass before I go off to college. I mean I'm cute, he's cute, I'm gay, he's gay. It's perfect.
I'm on my iPod touch so this is gonna be it. Wish me luck on my quest for tylers bubble butt!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
haha get it? cause your 19? pretty lame i know. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
heres a cute boy too
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
2. What is your height and weight? im 6 feet tall and weigh 165
3. how would you describe your skin color? white but ive got a good tan going
4. Do you have any identifying marks on you? none
5. Do you have any other scars and would you share how you got them? i have a few. one on my left elbow from tackling drills at football practice. one on my ankle from my bike. and one long ass scar on my right leg from running into a friends deck while playing football.
6. Is your six pack visible to others? its a 4 pack and yes, visible. but not like, way visible.
7. What do others think is your best physical aspect? my humor?
8. What do you think your best physical aspect is? my hair (mboy thinks so)
9. Do you have dimples, if so how many? none
10. Do you have freckles? a few on my face. barely visible.
11. How is your tan line looking? not bad. i dont take my shirt off very often but you know....idk.....its ok
13. In the next ten years what do you want to have? boyfriend or marriage or something
14. What is your favorite thing to do with Aaron and why? just be alone with him. we could do anything but if its just the two of us, i love it
15. Who at school would Dan give up Aaron to date if he could date any boy at school and why?this boy ryan. omg hes gorgeous. and a smokin body. sweet jesus.
28. Worst place you have been to in life and why?; ummm nowhere...
29. Place you want to visit and why?; tampa florida
30. Worst experience you have had in life?; what recently happened with aaron
31. Best experience you have had in life?; no idea
32. What was the worst Dan has been drunk before? not bad really.
33. Has Dan ever been arrested? never.
34. What is your favorite type of clothes you like to wear? ones that look good
38. Book you want to read that you haven’t yet? not a big reader...
69. If you could only bring one thing to a deserted island what would it be? a knife
70. Who is your current celebrity crush? Mitch Hewer. its been him for a loooonnnnggg time.
71. If you had to be an animal what would you be? ummmm a lion. id be the king.
72. If you had to be an inanimate object what would you be? um a tv i guess lol
73. Speaking of animals, pets? Got em? What kind? Names? Breeds? etc etc. ive got a dog. hes a teacup poodle and his name is max
74. Why don't you have a job you lazy bum? because im a lazy bum
75. Favorite party activity? beer pong ftw!
76. Favorite holiday? christmas hands down
77. Favorite Sports Team ;) the tampa bay buccaneers. i live and die by that team.
78. Favorite person ;) well since matt is asking, ill say.....matt
80. What do you think about while you're jerking off? :D aaron. im trying to stop but he just pops in.
82. Most important thing you'd look for in a boyfriend? :) hes gotta be the all around perfect boy. Aaron is, but i cant have him. i hope i can find one even half as good as him.
83. Fetishes? :D i have a thing for feet and legs. nothin crazy, i just like the way they look when they're perfect.
84. What do you wear to bed (or not wear :D)? :D tshirt and shorts
85. What position do you sleep in? :D on my tummy but like my knee is out to the side.
86. What do you do in the shower? :D clean myself :D
87. Would you rather suck or be sucked? :D i think im 50/50