Friday, July 9, 2010

deep stuff

so lee stayed over for a while this week and on wednesday lee said something that made me think about our future together. We were at the mall in sears walking past the washing machines when lee stopped.

lee: do u think were gonna be able to afford a nice washing machine when were married?
me: uhhhhhh......i.....hope?

i was pretty surprised. i really didnt know how to answer. so later when we got back to my place, i asked him about it.

me: so, we're getting married?
lee: huh?
me: u said earlier in the mall we were getting married and buying nice washing machines
lee: o yeah. idk i just kinda said it. have u never thought about it?
me: about us getting married?
lee: yeah
me: not really no
lee: oh. well i was thinking about it a few days ago.
me: and?
lee: well i really like u obviously and i feel like we really connect. Like, i think we should move in together next year.
me: damn.
lee: sorry. forget i said anything.
me: no no dont be sorry. its just ive never really thought about this before. its all pretty new thinking.
lee: i understand. will u think about it? its only the seed on an idea.
me: ill definitely think about it.

so heres me thinking about it.

i love lee. i would love nothing more than to be with him all day everyday. but moving in together is huge. marriage is huge. now if we have an argument, we have our own houses to cool off at. like, i can leave and he can leave. but once we move in together, we are always together. i also feel like once we move in together, thats it. im locked into this relationship. which is fine i guess. idk.

not sure what to do.


  1. Wow!! Moving in is a huge thing....while everything you thought about yourself is right in it's own place but these are things that would go away as you guys get to know eachother more!

    These things are'll gain the confidence and patience to stay under the same roof eventually....and you said you like him ALOT!! So why not.....but next year seems a little too soon to me!

    In any case...i'm happy that you guys are moving in the right direction! :)


  2. next year is 6 months away. that's a pretty long time and alot of things can happen. if your still happy, which i hope you are, then maybe moving in would be the right move. either way, it's too soon to make a decision about next year!

    oh, and you gonna post about you mum finding out about you and lee? you mentioned it on twitter the other day...

  3. think about it but do NOT overthink it too much. I mean don't let the thinking process bother you. Things need time and you also need time to figure out the pros and cons as they come to your mind. Anyway, best of luck!


  4. Does he mean moving in together permanently, or for the school term? I personally like living alone because it gives me some space and distance when I get sick of somebody. But I'd give the school scenario some thought - kind of a trial run.... Anyway, way too soon to be dreaming about marriage. My advice: Lee is your first BF - I think he is your first relationship IIRC. You need to experience more people. Otherwise, you will be tempted to stray. You've already been caught looking....

  5. When Lee says next year, does he mean school year or calendar year?

    Regardless, IMO, either is too soon. I think moving in together before at least a year is a bad idea. You really need to spend a lot of time together first, and get to know each other better. My husband and I didn't move in together until we'd been dating for 14 months.

    As for Charley's assertion that you need to experience more people, that's usually true, but some folks luck out the first time 'round. Steevo, the blogger, and his Dan have been together since their mid-teens, and they're now in their early 30s.

    I watched a little clip the other day of a couple who were finally getting legally married in DC, after being together for 64 years. They didn't go into details but they must've been around your age when they met, and I got the impression they were each others' first relationship, though I could be wrong.

    My husband was my first boyfriend, and we're approaching our 17th anniversary. Full disclosure: he wasn't the first guy I dated, but the second. That lasted only two-and-a-half weeks, I never considered him my boyfriend, and we never slept together. Oh, and I had two girlfriends, but I don't count those, as they didn't have penises. Anyhow, never once have I felt the urge to stray, and I've seen my share of smokin' hot guys.

  6. Moving in together?

    I would naturally abort that shit like a boss.

    But since you kinda love him, and he kinda loves you, I would calmly tell him that maybe you guys should take it slow. Like real fuckin slow.

    I mean, you guys are kids. 19! Just have fun and enjoy each others company.

    Serious shit later.

    Ya feel, bro?


  7. Wow Lee *really* likes you-- i mean really. That's a good thing. Maybe be careful with his feelings-- I bet he felt horrible when you said "damn".

    You have to do whatever you're comfortable with, and you're right where do you go if u get mad when you live together?!

    Tough decisions... I think the biggest thing to decide, like you said, is are you ready for this to be real and public. If you like him, then its prob worth it.

    But nix the marriage convo right now-- not that you can really do it legally anyways :S but X! is right-- you guys are 19-- just have fun. no need for the serious thoughts so soon!

    Much Love,

  8. x! has it right, in my opinion.

    If a couple can stay together for so many years, and not be married, why do you need a contract?

    I got married for tax reasons - romantic!

    Have a wonderful day. G =]

  9. Lee is a romantic and thinks about things like moving in together and marriage - it's just the way he is (I'm one too, so I know.) So sit down and talk about it - get your concerns out there. If you are both honest and know how the other feels it's better, even when you don't agree. My husband and I waited 14 months to move in together, and we were 21 and 26 when we met, so don't rush things.