Friday, June 11, 2010

coming out?

A lot of shit has been going on.

So one of my good friends is having a huge birthday party tomorrow night. So i asked him if it would be cool if i brought someone. He was fine with it. So i called up lee and asked if he wanted to come. he'll be here today at 3.

So him coming means a lot of things. Hes definitely going to meet all of my friends. Im absolutely fine with that, because everyone knows about him now. Now this party is going to have a lot of people from high school there. So if lee comes, i have 2 options. Introduce him as a friend from high school, or introduce him as my boyfriend. Now ive thought a lot about this. If i introduce him as my friend, no worries. If i introduce him as my boyfriend, i feel like im just dropping a huge bomb. not only would i be coming out, but i would be introducing them to my boyfriend. Thats a lot to handle, especially coming from me, someone they thought was straight.

so im not sure what to do. I talked to lee about it and he says i can do whatever i want and he doesnt want to pressure me into coming out. so thats nice. but at the same time, i kinda want to come out. i have this amazing boyfriend and i want to show him off god damnit! haha.

so any suggestions? im very tied up right now.


  1. Introduce him as your friend. As the night goes on, and the alcohol flows, people might start to ask questions, maybe in jest - but just answer truthfully if they get specific.

  2. I disagree with Charley. I've heard it's never a good idea to come out when you've been drinking. I think you should say he's your boyfriend to your friends, and just a friend to others, and to tell your friends to keep it on the dl.

  3. If you come out at a birthday party you might be stealing his/her's thunder.

    You feel?

  4. I would play it by ear. Just introduce him as a friend from school, and then if you feel comfortable with telling people, then do so. Get a read on the group and see how they react to Lee. They might figure it out all on their own, maybe, could be.

    The one thing I wouldn't do though is to lie to them. He is your friend, so that's not a lie. However, if they ask if he is your bf, tell them yes. If they can't handle the true you, then they aren't very good friends are they?

    Good luck!

  5. I gotta agree with x!

    If this was your party or just a random party then I would say whatever... but you dont want to be the focus on someone elses bday...

    that being said... if it feels right... you could always just start making out with him in front of everyone... lol


  6. I agree with combo of Biki and Oliver- I think if you want to tell your friends- then introduce him as your boyfriend. And if they are just mere acquaintances then you can just introduce him as a friend. That way you might avoid some of the stealing of thunder and gossip from those who might not be that close to you.

    but all in all- just do what feels comfortable to you at the time. and enjoy the time with Lee and your actual friends getting to know him :-)

  7. I think Biki nailed it... Don't go there to come out, but, don't lie about it either... No big announcements- all you really need, is for one, big mouthed person to find out, and you won't have to do a thing!! of course, by the time the rumor hits the last person at the party, it may have morphed into something like "Did you hear? Dan found his missing half brother and brought him to the party... Turns out the guy is gay, and just tried to put a move on Dan!" lol Well, have fun, kid!! luv, tman<3

  8. I agree with x! and AJCon89. Don't make yourself the focus of someone else's big event.

    Maybe ask the birthday boy how he'd feel about it? And if he's okay with it, I'd still keep it low key.

  9. Like Biki said...keep it safe!! No need to tell everyone....especially since it's not one news ur telling them...but two!!

    So to the special ones....introduce as a friend and as the night goes on AND they are getting along well with Lee....go ahd...tell them what's the real deal with him!

    Best of Luck!! ENjoy the party!

  10. Good comments and good advice. (:

    Good luck whatever you decide. Not that you'll need it, of course. :P <3

  11. Shock the hell outta them. It'll be good :D

  12. lol i agree with X! dont steal someone elses thunder-- but at the same time as the night goes on... who knows :-)

    Uh Im happy for you-- good luck either way!


  13. Eeading these comments, I have to admit, that they have quite nailed it. Enjoy the party.

  14. or how about you don't introduce him as 'a friend from school' or 'your boyfriend' but rather just as Lee, and if they ask, tell them?