So prom was over, and we went to Anns house for an after party. I was pretty depressed and shit and people were like whats wrong and i was just like meh. So aaron calls me up and asks if he and sarah can join our after party because his fell apart. So im like ill talk to Ann thinking she would say no because we had already turned a bunch of people down. But she said yea sure. I really didnt want him there. So they eventually show up and we all sitting im sitting at a table we all end up sitting and talking for like 3 hours. I tried so hard to just forge the whole thing. And i pretty much did. I was cracking jokes and saying shit. I had people on the floor laughing. I think it was a combination of all the punch and how tired i was. But aaron was paying more attention to me than sarah, which was something i guess. So they left to go to some other party thing around 4 and the rest of us ended up staying up till like 7. Then we went to bed for 2 hours then woke up and had breakfast, and right after i went home.
Im tired of this. I really just want him out of my life. I want to be done with him. I keep thinking that him going to some far away college is gonna be the best thing to happen to me. I really need college to start. I need a fresh start. The whole night i was just looking at couples holding hands and kissing, and i was all alone. Thats all ive ever really been. All alone. And the one person who i want to spend the rest of my life with, doesnt feel the same way. Im a fucking faggot, and i despise myself for it.