so me and aaron got in a bit of a fight yesterday. it wasnt really a fight, more like an argument. its the first one in a long time. so we were at this soccer game and he shows up and whatever. So the game goes by and he just isnt paying me any attention, lie i dont exist. and im getting mad. Its nothing new, he always does this, but yesterday was the last straw. So me and a few friends were gonna go get some food, just 4 of us, and one of them goes and invites aaron, and i really didnt want him there at all. so the entire meal i was sour and whatever. And my friend told me after we all got home that when i went to the bathroom, aaron was like "he is soooo mad at me." so after the meal aaron is the only ride home i have. i was like ugh. i didnt talk a whole lot, and he had to get gas. Now when aaron knows im mad at him, he sucks up pretty good. So while paying for gas, he buys me a candy bar and says "when we get gas, we get treats" or somethin like that. so i ate it. didnt really speak, just ate it. So he drops me off and im like bye and hes like bye and he drives off. So later, at like midnight, i text him(dont ask me why) and im like "why is it that u dont pay any attention to me and u treat me like i dont exist?" and he says "dont know what your talking about" and we go back and forth for a little bit and he ends up saying "i have to get up early, bye." and im like wtf. we didnt finish! so i text back "wonderful" and turn off my phone. So then today, he txts and was like lets hang out, and i text back an say somthin like "wow your actually asking me to do stuff. thats a first" and he was like "whats with the attitude i just wanna hand out with you" and im like "really?" so he calls and i make sure i sound as pissed as possible. so we talk and we were gonna be at the same party later anyway so we met up there. Im there a while before he shows and when he shows i dont stay long. didnt really talk with him. I did tell him we needed to talk.
haha wow crazy post there. sorry. its totally all over the place. haha. the grammar police would fuck me in the street if they ever saw this.
ok next post should be another crush series thing. later.
Bought the sims 3 today and omg, its soooo fucking good. its addicting like a mother fucker. I made a guy, and if corse, hes gay =). i have a boyfriend and everything. Its awesome. here are some pics.
Me and my boyfriend making out on the couch. Im the dark haired one.
Us making out on the bed
Us making love.....haha
us right after having sex
us sleeping. how cute are we?
So yea besides playing that all day, i went to the store with my mom. On the way there this song came on to the radio and my mom was like i love this song so i was forced to listen. So as im listening to this song, im listening to the lyrics and it just like clicked. The song is perfect at describing my whole arron thing. here it is.
"Chance for me to escape from all I know. Holding back the tears. Theres nothing here has grown. Ive wasted all my tears, Wasted all those years. Nothing had the chance to be good,
Nothing ever could, yeah. Ill keep holding on,
Ill keep holding on, Ill keep holding on, Ill keep holding on So tight."
like, ive wasted 4 years on him. ive wasted all the tears of crying over him. and nothing has happened. but i, gonna keep holding on.
went to two parties the last 2 days. had a bit too much to drink which i dont like. i dont want to be the kind of person who drinks to feel better. Right after i wrote my last post i went to a party, and last night i went to a party. i need to take a break.
last night after the party at like 4 in the morning, my friend was wasted and he crashed at my house. but when i woke up he was on my comp, and i had left some not to heterosexual material on my desktop and i was like fuck. normally im good about that stuff. So he left and i was kinda freaking out but as time passed i was like whatevs.
so i was awake and i went up to the store to get my dad a fathers day card. so i was walking and out from the isle to my left this AMAZINGLY cute boy walked out. He was fucking perfect. He was a bit shorter than me, he had brown short hair, he had to be around 16, and......he was wearing sandals. omg did my heart stop. he was with his mom and brother and sister tho. But im walking past and i had just woken up and my hair was all over the place and i looked all messy. I was like fuck i look like shit and i wanna fuck him. haha.
so i got home and helped my dad with some yard work. it was like 90 degrees out and i was all sweaty. i hate it. so i came in with dirt all over me. so i took a nice hot shower and then took a nap. so overall it was a pretty good day.
Dont wanna talk about aaron. maybe in a while, but not now.
life is too fucking complicated. i just dont know anymore. Like, this aaron thing is really getting to me. last weekend i didnt sleep at all. i just fucking dont know anymore. falling for your best friend blows big time. Ive been thinking a lot about it and i think i know what my problem is. Me, being the stupid fuck that i am, considers aaron to be my boyfriend, which is why i get jealous and get upset when he doesnt touch me and stuff. And i need to fucking realize that hes not my boyfriend. And when i finally realize that, ill be better. But im never gonna realize that, because i love him too much. UGHHHHH. whatevs.
i look back at my life a few years ago and it dawns on me. Im not what i used to be. Ive changed over the years, and i wish i hadnt. Deep down i wish i had never met aaron in the first place. I hate to say it but its true. i hate him.
sorry about this sad post. ive been feeling down for a week now and im just in a bad place.
okay so here is the first post of my "Past crush" series. Im just gonna worn all of my gay readers, which i think is around 100% of my readers, that my first few crushes are toward girls, so sorry. And im not gonna remember all of the crushes, so im just gonna post the ones i remember, which is still a lot.
Crush #1: Love It was kindergarten. There was this girl, and im pretty sure her name was love, which right now seems kinda wrong. o well. so i remember this one time the teacher asked me and her to take down the attendance card to the office. so we walked down, but there was very little talking, just a lot of giggling. haha thats all i really remember about her. but i do remember feeling a thing for her.
thats a short one, cause it was so long ago. they will get longer.
so in my personal life, nothing to really report. aaron, dont wanna talk about him right now, so yea. thats really it. haha sorry im boring.
you ever just wake up and feel fucking fantastic? I just got up a few minutes ago and i feel great. i haven't felt this good in a long ass time. I mean, i always feel good, but not THIS good. haha. Not sure why either. o well.
So I saw jake again yesterday. Again, he was shirtless for a few minutes. haha i love it. but he was with his girlfriend. Yeah, i know, bummer. I dont really care. At least i hadnt developed a huge crush on him. If aaron ever got a girlfriend, i would literally die.
Speaking of aaron, weve been really good lately. I mean were always good, but like, it just seems like were connecting more. idk. hes not being as much of an ass. Although yesterday he was really pissing me off. He was just being obnoxious and annoying. But no matter what he does, i still love him. (i hate that)
haha this post is completely pointless. ummm yeah. had a weird dream last night. I was on that broke straight boys website and me and some other guy fucked all the time. haha.
ok idk whats wrong with me. i need to go do something to get my mind all uncrazy.
so its been a great few days. Just been relaxing and shit. Watching good movies, playing basketball. Its been great.
So today, went to a soccer game where a bunch of my friends we playing. Watched from the sidelines with aaron and had a good time. it was kinda cold outside tho. So one of my friends, who plays on the team, brought one of his friends that i dont know to play because they were down a few players. So at half time, my friends friend, we'll call him jake, took of his jersey to cool off i guess. it was chilly out, but i guess he was hot from all the running. So jake took his shirt off and omg, his body was just, so delicious. holy shit. My mouth was watering. I wanted a taste......real bad. So, I waited. I waited like a good little boy until the game was over. After what seemed like an hour, the game ended. They won!!!! woot. So i walked over to the bench and was giving high fives and stuff, and when i came to jake, i started talking to him. We had a nice 20 minute conversation about this and that. I dont really remember, i was too busy undressing him with my eyes. So he finally said he had to go, and i was likeok, progress made. But before he left, he gave me his phone numba. woot woot. Score one for ME!!!!! haha. So i walk up to aaron, who was my ride, and im all giddy and girly, and hes like, "whats up with u?" and i just smile and say "nothing. take me home." haha. it was great.
So yea, good day. It looks like my poll is going mainly in one direction, so im probably gonna close it soon. And since its all mostly "yes", be prepared for the first installment of my past crush series. Its gonna be good ^o^
ok, heres TWO cute boys, cause im in a great mood.
Last night me and a bunch of friends went to aarons house for a little end of school party. Had some really gread food and did some fun stuff. At like 3 in the morning 6 of us played beer pong. Now, i normally dont drink, and aaron never drinks. But he really wanted to try, so we did. It was really kinda weird at first. Id never seen that side of him. We played 2 games each. He was definitely feeling it, i could tell. He really didnt get anywhere near drunk, just buzzed. I didnt feel a thing. So We were all tired and he said i could sleep in his bed because he wasnt gonna go to bed for a while. So i went to his room and went to bed. It was so nice. It smelled like him, and i love his smell. So i got up at like 1030 and just stared at the celling when i had a crazy idea. So i took my clothes of, and laid in his bed buck naked. it felt so good. So my dick was getting hard, so im like, why not jerk off. So i did. omg, it was amazing. haha. then i dressed and went back to bed. got up 4 hours later and aaron made us breakfast and we left. On the way out, i was a bad boy and i stole a pair of his boxers. omg they smell amazing. haha this is the second pair ive stolen. i also stole one of his socks. haha im a perv.
So on another note, i got my comp back. its so nice to have it back. i missed it.
First, Id like to thank G for being the only one to answer my question about my past crushes segment. He says i should do it, so i probably will, but im gonna do a poll anyway. So go answer. Ill leave it up for a few days.
So i had graduation the other day. It really wasnt half bad. Kinda fun actually. No one really clapped for Aaron, so i stood up and went nuts. I clapped so loud. haha. people were giving me weird looks. fuck em. So after the whole thing we had this big senior all night party. Everyone was there. Normally at these big party that both me and aaron are at, all night im thinking about all the fun hes having without me and i get all depressed and stuff. But i wasnt gonna let that keep me from enjoying myself. I had a blast, and i almost never saw him.
So today i hade like a thousand graduation parties to go to. Had a lot of good food and just had a great time. Didnt see aaron till the last 3, but for some reason, he was great. Like at the very last one it felt like we were boyfriends. We were together most of the night and we were joking and it felt really great. I felt like i could just go up and kiss him and everything tould be cool. I didnt, but it felt like i could.
so yea, my comp broke =( i was using my brothers while he was on a school trip but he came back so now im on my old ass desktop. i hate it. But its got my old porn collection so yay. My comp should be back this week. i hope.
So a lot in this post. heads up. Im gonna like give u the rundown then break up certain parts into more detail.
ok so monday I had my orientation for college. So at the crack of dawn I drove to my college. It was a nice drive, only about 45 mins to an hour. So i got there and i went to the main building place where I was staying for the night. Nice building. Got my room key and dropped my stuff off. the guy i was sharing a room with was already there so i introduced myself. he was pretty cool. Played soccer in high school. Not that attractive tho. So we went to the cafateria and had lunch. It was ok food. Then we got split up in a bunch of groups and went on a long ass campus tour. Had a gay guy in my group who was kinda cute. I really like the campus tho. Like its really nice. Saw a lot of cuties during the tour as well. So at like 6 we had dinner and then went to some performance thing. It was funny. Then we went to some stupid activities thing and then back to the dorm. Went to bed and the next day picked classes and went home.
So, more about my group. I was in this group with 8 people. 5 guys(2 hot ones) and 3 girls, one of which was our group leader. So we were walking and i couldnt help but notice how extremly hot these girls were. I mean, im gay. Imagine how hot they had to be. So looking at these girls, i started to remember about this girl in 6th grade that i had this HUGE crush on. Like stalker crush haha. And then that got me thinking about all the girls and guys ive ever had a crush on. So i was thinking today that i would do like a segment on here dedicated to all of my past crushes. Which is a lot. Ask matt. so yea, should i? lemme know.
So about the boys. O man, there were some real cuties. And A LOT of gay guys. So out of all the guys i saw, I sifted through them and picked 3 that were my favorites. So boy #1 i saw all day. He was everywhere. He was thin and amazingly cute. He had a light orange hair color. It was cute. He wore a lot of green. Green hoodie, green basketball shorts, and the cutest most delicious looking legs i have ever seen. EVER. like omg. i dream about them haha. He was a lot like me. Like same style and body type. Of all the three, he was the one im pretty sure was straight. But then again, im pretty straight. But im not. haha. so who knows. Boy #2 was this really tall cute kid who was like emo but not. Like a really mild emo. He wore this fidel castro hat and he was just omg. I got close enough to smell him, and he smelled like cookies. I love cookies =). So yeah pretty sure he was gay to, just the way he walked and stuff. whateves. And last, boy #3. He was definitely gay. Cause he told everyone. haha. So he was short and pretty cute. He was always with these girls. But when i was sleeping that night i kept wondering what would have happened if he was my room mate. Would i like, tell him? get a one night stand? Yeah, i probably would.
So when school starts, #1 and #2 i see as possible boyfriends, and #3 as a possible fuck buddy =)
So today I went out to lunch with aaron. He gave me my birthday present, which was only 2 months late. It was a shirt he knew i really wanted. He gave it to me in his car and i took off my shirt and put the new one on. I didnt really think about it, i just did it. It was the first time i was shirtless in front of him. I had been trying to so hard to get his clothes off i never really thought to take off mine. So after lunch he came over for a while. It was fun. Got to play with his feet for a little bit. haha that sounds so weird. So he left and gave me a hug. I was pleased.
So yea this post took me over an hour to write, and its a kinda all over the place. haha. o well
mirrorboy, im glad your feeling better. And landyn, I miss u bitch. Oh and matt, go to chicago. Its amazing.