im comin home

I know i said i would be absent for a while but finals are just about done and i get to go home tomorrow. im excited to be done with everything.

Havent seen much of Lee lately. hes a much bigger nerd than i am, and he studies a lot. its adorable. We have definitely fallen into the boyfriend groove. The expected goodnight text. The expected goodbye kiss. We know where to touch eachothers body to give them pleasure(Lee loves it when i kiss the back of his neck). Everything is just going well.

But, and its a HUGE but. Ive been thinking about aaron A LOT. like, hes sometimes all i think about. and im scared shitless. i really dont like it. Ive talked to lee about it and he says he understands but i can tell he doesnt really like it. Aaron doesnt know about lee, but id like him to meet him.

Idk. maybe its the school year ending thats got me all in a weird mood. Who knows.

busy busy

sorry for my disappearance. Ive just been so fucking busy. Schools coming to an end and i have finals this coming week. And lee, boy he keeps me busy haha.

So i just wanted to let u guys know i probably wont be posting for a while. Maybe when i get home from college. I just dont know.

Lee is wonderful. Weve been on another date. We went to lunch at wendys haha. it was awesome because he kissed me inside where everyone could see us. it was pretty hot. No sex yet, but blowjobs for sure. Amazing stuff there.

And lately, before i fall asleep, ill just think about aaron and tyler a lot. Like, i think about them sexually. I really miss aaron and i just want to kiss him everywhere. and tyler, i just want to fuck him so bad. idk its weird.

well ill talk to u when i talk to u.

best day ever?

So today was like, the best day ever.

Went to media class and lee was waiting with a huge grin on his face.

lee: "hey there'

me: "hey. whats up?"

lee: "just waiting for u. ready for tonight?"

me: "whats tonight?"

lee: "our first date! i thought i told u..."

me: "um... right..."

lee: "haha maybe i didnt. "

so we walk inside and sit, and lee is sooo excited, and its rubbing off on me, and we're just both really excited. And we talk all class, like old times. it was just wonderful. we were making fun of people and joking around. It was so awesome. So class ends and we walk out and he wants to go to his house before we go out. So we get to his room and we drop our bags and he comes over and gives me a quick kiss and says "im so excited for this" and im like "me too". so he backs off and heads over to his dresser and pulls out a clean shirt. He pulls off the shirt hes wearing and throws it in his clothes basket. Let me just say, my mouth was watering. His back was to me, so i only saw his back, but omg that was enough to send me over the edge. He puts his clean shirt on and turns around and i must have been smiling or something because he was like "what?" i just said "nothin"

So we left his room and went to my car. I asked him where we were going and he said chilis. i love chilis. So we head out and i put on some music, and its my favorite song ever, it was a good day by ice cube. And to my surprise, lee knew most of the words. So there we were, on the way to chilis, singing it was a good day. it was like out of a movie.

So we get to chilis, and we get this nice booth. We sit and order our food, and we start talking. It was so natural, just us there talking and eating our food. It was such a great date. We played footsies every now and again. He even payed for me. It was so nice. And the food was amazing. I had the cajun chicken pasta and he had the chicken strips, and we shared a cheesecake. It was so nice.

So we head back to his place, and we walk in and sit on his couch and put in a movie. Shawn of the dead haha. so we cuddle up next to eachother and start watching. I remember his hair, and how it smelled like watermelon. It was so good, so i start to run my hand through it. it was just so peaceful. So we watch the movie, and it ends, and were just sitting there. So i lean over and kiss his cheek. He turned toward me and he kisses me. so we start kissing for a while. After a few minutes he ends up on top of me and were just really kissing hard. I remember my hand going under his shirt and running against his smooth back. Man it was hot. We do that for a while until my phone starts ringing. It was my room mate wondering where i was. So our moment was kinda cut short. I told him i needed to get going cause i have a somewhat early class, so we kiss one last time and i get my stuff and go.

So yeah, just about the best day ever i think.

we need a date night

So my birthday was pretty awesome. Got tons of money and some other cool shit. It was overall a great day. Before i left for home on thursday i got part 1 of lees gift. We met for lunch and he came over to my place for the first time. So we just made out for half an hour before he had to go to class. He also bought me recess peanut butter cups. It was possibly the best gift ever.

But like, it still feels awkward. The whole time durring lunch it was just kinda like, different. Its hard to explain. Like, i dont really see him as my boyfriend yet. And like, when we were kissing, it was great, but when we were just talking....idk. i think we need to go on a date for me to really start to feel like hes my boyfriend. so idk.

having relationships are kinda hard.

way too soon

So yeah i didnt ask him to come home with me this weekend. I just feel like its way way to soon.

And in class today, things were weird. It was just kinda awkward. Idk, maybe its in my head.

I did get some info out of him today, and since u guys asked, heres the answers.

hes never had a boyfriend.

hes out to his parents and a few friends

hes never kissed a boy(until now)

yeah so thats the big stuff. idk i feel like this is a pointless post. i feel old too.

happy birth day to me.

help with this weekend

First i want to thank everyone for their comments about my grandpa. Im gonna miss him, but life goes on. And thanks for all the encouraging words about lee. You guys really are the best.

So didnt see lee at all yesterday. I had a paper to write and idk it just didnt happen. We texted for a while but you know, i would have loved to have tasted his lips again. its like cocaine. i want it all the time.

Anyway, we talked about this weekend and i told him i was going home for the weekend cause of my birthday and all. He was fine with it. He just told me he would have to give the first part of my present on thursday and the second part on monday. Who knows what that means...

So heres my problem. I was thinking of asking if he wanted to come with me, cause he isnt really doing anything this weekend and well, i wanna be with him on my bday. But i mean, idk. Do u guys think its too soon? I keep feeling like its way too soon to have him come home with me. Idk. its not like id introduce him to my parents as my boyfriend or anything. For now i would just say hes a friend. But like, i feel like its way too soon. we literally just decided to be boyfriends on monday. We havent even been out on a date yet. And if he did come home with me, would he come out to dinner with me and my family for my bday? i just dont know.

Any help would be much appreciated. Love u guys! your all the best.

boyfriend

Well before i go on and tell u about what happened with lee, i just wanted to let u know about my sunday. I spent 10 hours in the hospital, where eventually my grandpa died. I didnt get home till around 1 in the morning. And im pretty ok with the whole death thing, it doesnt bother me. But what really got to me was my grandma. Hearing her cry was horrible. And my mom was crying. it was just a bad atmosphere.

Anyway, on to the good news.

It was a beautiful day outside. So I got to media class and lee wasnt there waiting. I just figured he was running late. Get into class and sit down. No lee. i wait and wait and wait till class is just about to start. FINALLY he comes over and sits next to me. so we start talking.

me: "there u are"

lee: "yeah i was napping"

me: "tired?"

lee: "yeah i didnt sleep well last night"

me: "u ok?"

lee: "im fine"

me: "ok...."

So the rest of class was pretty bad. We didnt really talk much, and it felt kinda awkward. It was just bad. So finally, class ends and we get up in silence. We make our way outside and we start talking again.

me: "u ok?"

lee: "im fine. listen, can we talk?"

me: "yeah, right now?"

lee: "yeah, lets go to the pond"

me: "ok sure"

so we start making our way to the pond, which is really far from class. It was a bad walk. Not a word was spoken. I wanted to say something, but i was just so nervous about everything. So after maybe 10 minutes we get to the pond and lee leads me to one of those 4 seated table bench things. He sits and i sit across from him. So lees looking at the table and im just sitting there, not sure what to do. So maybe like 3 minutes later, lee starts speaking.

lee: "About the other day. Listen, if you were just joking around i understand and all. its no big deal"

me: "what?"

lee: "the whole u liking me and all. i understand if you were just joking around and shit.

(his eyes are still glued to the table)

me: "wait, you think i was joking?"

lee: "yeah dude its cool. people joke like that all the time"

me: "well i wasnt joking...."

(he looks up for a quick second and sees me smiling. he thought i was still joking around)

lee: "dude, really. the jokes over"

me: "what joke?"

lee: "seriously. stop it."

I was just in like shock. I had just told this boy that i liked him 2 days ago, and he didnt believe it. He just didnt think i was serious. So, i decided to get bold. I got up, alked over to his seat, and sat down right next to him. He noticed and looked at me. He looked sad. So i grab one of his hands, and lean forward. He meets me half way, and we kiss. It was a short kiss, and the minute we pulled apart his cheeks were blushed and he had this huge smile was on his face. I felt myself smiling just as hard.

lee: "y-you were serious?"

me: "i told u i was"

lee: "haha yeah. i guess so."

(he looks away and bites his bottom lip. Thats one of my weaknesses. i cant keep it in)

I lean forward again, and we start kissing more and more. I feel his tongue touching mine. My hand makes its way to his hair, and i feel his hand on my thigh. It felt like i was floating. It felt like we were kissing for hours, but after maybe 10 minutes we heard some girls laughing. We stopped quickly and we were both beat red.

me: "wanna get some dinner?"

lee: "um.....yea....."

me: "ok haha"

So we went to dinner, ate dinner, and went back to his dorm room. We talked for a long time. We talked about us, about this weekend, about music and food and movies we like. And we kissed some more haha. and finally at around 9 i said i had to go. So he walked me to his door and kissed me goodbye. No ones ever kissed me goodbye before.

So all in all, i would say it was the best day ever. Looks like Daily Dan has himself a boyfriend.

mission accomplished

ok so heres the story

i was home last night talking to matt. I was kinda feeling down about college and shit, and i was like maybe i should text lee. So i did, and for a good while me and lee were texting back and forth, and matt was helping me figure out what to say.

me "what are you up to?"

lee "watching finding nemo"

me "I love that movie. wish i was there"

lee "wish u were here too. What are u up to?"

me "just thinking about shit and watching shrek 2"

lee "what shit?"

me "Just some shit ive got on my mind"

lee "are u ok?"

me "o yeah im fine its just shit u know?"

lee "wanna talk about it?"

me "well i just met this person and i think im starting to really like them..."

lee "more than friends?"

me "more than friends....."

lee "Actually, theres this person i just met and i think im starting to really like them..."

me "more than friends?"

lee "more than friends...."

me "i like you lee"

lee "i like you dan"

me "wanna get together on monday?"

lee "yea we can talk about stuff ;)"

me "cant wait :)"

lee "me either..."

and that was it. You have no idea how this feels. its like my body is cold and my heart is releasing warm chicken noodle soup all throughout my body haha. I feel so good. I cant put it into words correctly.

its too late. lee has my heart.

(p.s. thanks matt for your help.)

what should i do?

Ok well yesterday was a shitty day. it was raining on and off and by the time i got to media i was pretty wet. But Lee was waiting again. I wonder if he gets there early just for me. We actually had to kinda pay attention in class cause the professor was talking about our final paper. So class kinda sucked, but after class i asked lee if he wanted to join me and my friends for some dinner, and he said of corse. So we ate for like 45 minutes and as we were leaving Lee asked me if i wanted to go on a walk. Of corse, i said yes. I was kinda nervous, not sure why. So we said bye to my friends, who i m sure thought it was weird. So we went walking. We were walking around campus, talking about high school and how green the grass was and a bunch of other shit. It just felt so.....right. But after a while of walking and talking, it started to rain cats and dogs. So we ran under this building overhang and waited for the rain to stop, which was like 15 mins later. Then we said goodbye and we went back to our dorms. It was really really nice.

So now heres my question. How do i get things moving? How to i take it to the next level?

I was talking to Matt and he said i should ask him to like the movies or dinner, and when he says yes, if he says yes, let him know its a date. I kinda like that.

any other ideas? I really like Lee, and i dont wanna mess things up.

And one more thing. I had a really weird dream last night. I was with Lee in my bed and we were like cuddling and then the door bursts open and Arran storms in and starts yelling "your suppose to love ME! your suppose to love ME!" Then i woke up. What does that mean?

Lunch with Lee

Lunch was amazing. We just talked about this and that. It was so great. its so crazy how ive only known him for 2 weeks and we already talk to eachother like we're best friends. its nuts. we just "fit" together, u know?

Still not sure if hes gay. But we have media class today, so who knows. Maybe things will happen.

well thats it. ill keep ya posted.

LUNCH!!!

guess who just texted me to join them for lunch?

LEE

im in love

i dont even know where to begin.

I was walking to media class with my 3 friends and who happens to be sitting on a bench right outside class? Lee. I wave and he gets up and says hi. I introduce him to my friends and we all go in and sit. Once again, we talked like all hour. The professor kept giving us dirty looks haha. So class ends and i didnt want our fun to end so i invited him to dinner. He said hed love to so he came back to my place and all 5 of us went to dinner. Lee sat next to me, and we all just had a wonderful meal. I found out what dorm lee livesin . its not far but not close. a good 10 minute walk. I also found out that the town he lives in is only like a 15 minute drive from my town. I was very excited to hear that. AND, we also exchanged phone numbers!!! WOOT!!! So we eat and were walking out and lee has to go in the opposite direction as everyone else so he says goodbye to us. And like that, we part ways, and off he goes.

it was just so, magical. I just dont know what to do anymore. im in love for sure.

Lee: The facts

ok so i was thinking about lee this morning and i realized that i havent really ever explained what lee looks like. So im going to tell you all what he looks like and everything else i really know.

ok so hes slim and about my height. Around 6 foot. he has short blond hair that is sooooo cute on him. I just want to run my fingers thru it. he has brown eyes like me. hes just so cute. ummm hes a freshman and im not sure yet where he lives on campus.

shit i guess thats all i know. damn. um well i hope ill get to know more tomorrow.

also my birthday is coming up. soooo u know, gifts are fun. :)