Wednesday, April 14, 2010

help with this weekend

First i want to thank everyone for their comments about my grandpa. Im gonna miss him, but life goes on. And thanks for all the encouraging words about lee. You guys really are the best.

So didnt see lee at all yesterday. I had a paper to write and idk it just didnt happen. We texted for a while but you know, i would have loved to have tasted his lips again. its like cocaine. i want it all the time.

Anyway, we talked about this weekend and i told him i was going home for the weekend cause of my birthday and all. He was fine with it. He just told me he would have to give the first part of my present on thursday and the second part on monday. Who knows what that means...

So heres my problem. I was thinking of asking if he wanted to come with me, cause he isnt really doing anything this weekend and well, i wanna be with him on my bday. But i mean, idk. Do u guys think its too soon? I keep feeling like its way too soon to have him come home with me. Idk. its not like id introduce him to my parents as my boyfriend or anything. For now i would just say hes a friend. But like, i feel like its way too soon. we literally just decided to be boyfriends on monday. We havent even been out on a date yet. And if he did come home with me, would he come out to dinner with me and my family for my bday? i just dont know.

Any help would be much appreciated. Love u guys! your all the best.


  1. i think he should go with you, i mean, if you're already dating, then no harm, right?

  2. If you're comfortable with it, and he's comfortable with it I say it's fine. But it's all up to you.

  3. you should just ask him but let him know that if he isn't comfortable with it you're ok with him declining.

    I've been a silent reader of your blog for a while btw; just wanted you to know that it's strangely addictive. Oh and my heart kinda jumped for you when you and lee confessed your love lol. Is that weird?

    Anyway good luck,


  4. I'm suggesting tht u ask him to come along...but be open to whatever he answers with AND if he decides not to come, best not to force him!

    On the plus side, he does seem genuinely interested! ;)

  5. Looks like I'm the lone dissenter. I think it's far too early to ask him to join you for the weekend, especially at your folks' house.

    Things sound like they're off to a great start, though!


  6. Hi there, Dan

    I'm another silent reader; it's been heartwarming to see the growth of your friendship, and now relationship, with Lee. I wish you a long and happy life together!

    As for this weekend, I don't know the answer. But some practicalities occur to me. Am I right in thinking that you're not out to your family? If you have Lee with you, it's going to be very difficult to hide the true nature of your relationship: you will look at each other like people in love, you will reach out to hold hands. This may not be the way you want to come out to your family.

    On the other hand, if Lee isn't there, you're probably going to be looking a bit distracted at times during the weekend, thinking of him. You might want to be prepared for some comments about it.

    Meanwhile, I note that you think it's too soon, and that Lee is happy with this. So I'm not sure that you really needed our advice :-)
    I can see why you would want him to be there for your birthday, but maybe you'd like to think of it like this: next year, your birthday and the anniversary of the two of you getting together will fall within a week of each other, so you'll have two reasons to celebrate.

    Anyway, I hope you have a great weekend, whatever you do, and I look forward to hearing more.

    Take care


  7. If he's your guest for the weekend, he'll certainly go to your birthday dinner. You can't just leave him at home while you go out.

    If you invite him, don't hasten to reassure him that he doesn't have to come. That could make it feel as if you were asking because you thought you had to, but were hoping he'd decline the invitation.

    If you aren't out to your parents it could get them wondering. OTOH, if they suspect nothing and like him, that makes it easier if you come out sometime soon.

    On balance, I tend to agree with the commenters who think it's a bit soon to make that sort of invitation. but if you go home frequently, maybe you could have him visit sometime less significant. Also, since he doesn't live far away from you, maybe you could see him some weekend when you're both at home. "Folks, this is Lee, who's in one of my classes. He lives in _________. We're going to hang out for a while."

    If you aren't out to your folks, the thing you need to think about is whether they are homophobic, and whether they are at all likely to kick you out or otherwise take it very badly if you come out.

  8. No "nobody" you are not alone here I too think it is WAAAAAY to early to invite him to your home.

    I mean he barely even knows you but already you are going home with him. I think you should wait a while longer and get to know him

    Who knows you may find something you don't like about him and you have to hear your parents say "Oh and how is Lee?"

    I still want to wish you the best with Lee though and can't wait to hear about a day when you do bring him home as a friend

    take care

  9. Yea, I'd be a bit conservative here. You guys barely know each other yet, and there will be plenty of time later to get to know him better. Better to avoid some awkwardness at home. Besides, he's already has dibs on you before and after the weekend...

  10. I agree that I think its too early... but you would know best because you know his personality, etc.

    Considering that my last relationship started and ended in less than 6 weeks -- exactly BECAUSE both of us went WAAAAY too fast (and other shit too)-- I am really gunshy about going too fast right now.

    Ugh... I always turn these comments about me... but i guess thats what advice is, eh? So yea I know that a big problem with my recent failed relationship was both of us felt so connected so quick-- but it just fell apart. We told each other we loved each other too quick-- all kinds of stuff. What's funny is I think of myself as a practical person-- not a mushy love person...and I totally fell for it. I felt that warm, amazing feeling of reciprocated love and I was done for...

    So do what u think is best... but youre just getting to know each other and pacing things -- EVEN THOUGH you both probably want to be with each other 24x7--- is probably a good thing.

    You have a whole life to spend with Lee-- no need to rush it now :-)

    If you can learn any lesson from my mistake just take your time-- let things develop organically, naturally-- don't trust that warm and fuzzy feeling. That's the cocaine talking :-) But dont forget to have the best time of your life. Falling in love is fun :-) Its "the tits" as you might say.

    have i mentioned how happy I am for you :-) :-) :-)

    Much Love,