Thursday, August 27, 2009

return of tyler?

so after my depressing day on tuesday, i woke up on wednesday and i didnt feel much better. i got up at 830 and went to one of my friends house to see him off to college. he was one of my closest friends, and it was no fun saying goodbye. then, once he left, i went to another really close friends house and saw him off too. two of my best friends gone in the same day. it sucked big time. once he was gone, i met the only other friends i have left at the mall and we walked around and bought some lunch. i was there but not really there, if that makes sense. so i came home and got in bed and just stared at the celling. aaron kept popping in my head, and i didnt like that at all. i miss him a lot.
i thought a lot about shit. i even thought about shutting down my blog, and i was really considering it. it was just no good. then, after a while, i fell asleep. i woke up about an our later, and then hoped in the shower. as i was washing my hair i looked down at my chest and i saw this like strand of shampoo running down and it reminded me of blood. and it really got me thinking about life, and how its not worth it to just waste life on feeling depressed and feeling sad. and it made me feel.....much better. i also realized that theres no way i can just stop this blog. i love writing in it to much. and i love all my followers and commenters. so thats not gonna happen.
So i got out of the shower and went and got some dinner and just enjoyed it. i wasnt upset anymore. i was happy. it was kinda weird.

so at about 700 i got a text from my friend eric and he told me there was this movie party thing going on at his house and i should show up at 8. of corse i wanted to go, so i did. i got there and and we waited for everyone to arrive, and who shows up? tyler. i was kinda pleasantly surprised. so he cam over and sat down next to me on the couch. he wasnt like next next, but he was on the same couch. so we talked a while and when everyone showed up we started the movie. we watched trainspotting. it was pretty good. so after the movie we just talked a while and people slowly started leaving, and it ended up just be me, tyler and eric. we talked for a long time. i definatly feel like me and tyler and getting to know each other better. and i think, maybe, he likes me. idk. it was good to get aaron out of my head, and tyler always seems to do a good job of doing that. but he was talking about how he hadnt been sexually active in a long time, which kinda made me feel.....weird. idk. i didnt like thinking of him getting more action than me. whatevs. so he left at like 3 in the morning and i left soon after. The three of us made plans to get dinner and see a movie tonight. so im excited. were seeing inglorious basterds. itll be the third time seeing it for me. its soooooooo good.

anyway, sorry for the long post. its kinda a weird one. o well. thanks for reading.


  1. Oh yea, thanks for reminding me about that movie - I gotta to see it. As for Tyler, it seems to me that since he is gay, his gaydar is probably fairly accurate... meaning that things are looking up for you. As far as starting something before you go away - what's the problem with that? I can think of many friends who have LDR's (long distance relationships) that work - technology is a wonderful thing. But as I said in an earlier post, relax. Start out as friends and see where it goes, but make sure you progress beyond "just friends" fairly fast (within a month or two.) Otherwise the situation may end up like Aaron where you are stuck under a glass ceiling. As for Aaron, I wouldn't give up on him either. I have a friend who has a steady girlfriend, yet still hooks up with his best bud. They have one of those symbiotic relationships that goes beyond animal attraction. Damn - ramble mode OFF.

  2. it sounds like a really nice time and it's nice you are taking the time to make proper goodbyes with your friends - christmas break isn't all that far away ... as for tyler ... if you have even the slightest hint, go for it or you may be wondering for a long time to come

  3. Dont apologize for a long post! This was a great one--- Im so glad that your mood changed. It's weird how small things can cause such a dramatic change in perspective. Its not a bad thing-- just interesting.

    Good luck with Tyler and the movie- I haven't seen it yet but want to.

    Im crossing my fingers for you!


  4. Boy good luck at the movies, hope everything runs smoothly and you have a great time together, only you know the pace you'll take, good for you. Also if you think he likes you maybe he does, just not to overthink things that much, sometimes things just happen and sometimes they don't, if you really want something to happen then you can start playing more aggressively, after all it's your life and you only get one.

    Do be careful, and I'm glad you're no longer feeling down, many people also love reading your blog me among them, so don't stop just yet please.

    Hope you're having a great time, don't forget that people come and go but your real friends never leave :D


  5. Dan

    I hope everything went well and that you and tyler become friends and maybe more but just having a gay friend is a good thing

    take care and be safe


  6. Hey I'm glad to hear things are looking up again. Oh yeah I miss you!! And I have boys to talk about with you! So we should try and be on msn at the same time sometime soon. kthxbai.