future of blogland

Thanks to all the wonderful comments. They all made a lot of sense. Hopefully ill man up and

do something about the overlapping thing soon. idk. life is hard.

So after i read Mirrorboys post about how his life in blogland is coming to an end, it got me thinking. Who's gonna take over as king of blog world? I mean, thats a huge responsibility. I think mirrorboy should appoint some one. or maybe blogworld can just exist without a king. Is mirrorboy even king? idk what im saying. One things certain tho. When morrorboy leaves, it will be a sad, sad day.

So i was surfing the web and i cam across some pictures. U know whos looking hot?.....

cole sprouse. hes looking yummy.

so steve, im tired of missing you on msn, so pick a day when you know you can talk, and ill be on. SOund good?

a lot of shit

So yesterday my family had some old family friends over. It was my family, family A and Family B. So three families all together. So heres some history.

Family A: Back when I lived in my other house, I was best friends with logan, who is the son in family A. We were like, tight as fuck. We did everything together. He was the first boy i fooled around with. And a while after that we kinda drifted apart. He went the skateboard punk way and i went the football athlete way. Then when i moved to my current house, which was across town, we basically stopped being friends. This was like, 5 years ago.

Family B: Lauren, my first girlfriend, is the daughter in family B. My parents knew theres a long time ago and then use kids were introduced and yada yada yada. So i dont really remember much, cause i was like 13-14, but we were in Lauren's room and we were fooling around and her dad walked in on us. It was awkward, and i guess i repressed that memory.

Ok so all of the families were together after years of not seeing each other. The parents were all upstairs drinking and having fun, and all the kids were in the basement. It wasnt as awkward as i thought it would be, but i would always think to myself "we did gay shit together" or "her dad walked in on us." And it was just kinda weird. Like, i know they both remember, and im sure they were thinking about it too. And then later in the night all the parents and kids were together and i would look at laurens dad and be like, shit, he knows what we did, what does he think about me?

It was just an interesting evening. Just thought id share that with you.

Another thing that i was thinking about earlier was like how everyone sees me as this kid who plays basketball and football and tries to act all tough and shit, but then when im alone in my room, i drool over naked boys and dream about falling in love. Its like, im living in two different worlds that are always kept apart, and never overlap. But i kinda want them to at some point overlap. I want to be at the mall and have everyone see me as i am, a sports fanatic and manly man, but i want to be there with my boyfriend, holding hands and being all in love. I hope that makes sense. Idk. Im just in a writing mood.

Ok well, i have some checks to cash and some shit to do, so thats all from me. I better get some comments. This thing took me an hour to write.

friends

So I hope everyone had a merry christmas and a happy hanaka(spelling?)

i got some dvds and some shirts and all that. I didnt really ask for much so whatevs. i did get close to 500 bucks tho, so yay.

So the other day, i was with all my old friends from high school. It was the first time we had all gotten together. So at first im sitting there having a good time, but after a while i start getting really annoyed. So i look around at them all laughing at some stupid story and i ask myself "these are my friends?" It was like, wtf happened to all of them. They've all changed, and i dont like the new them. And i mean, i dont really care. Its just wtf happened to al of them. So i just make fun of them all the time, and it works out fine, but i miss the old them. Oh well.

Ok, hope everyone is good. I got some shit to do.

dont be mad...

im not closing my blog. It was a combination of me wanting to see how people reacted, and to see what it was like to feel free from the whole thing. And let me tell ya, not having to really worry about my blog felt good. but i missed it.

And to the 3 people who sent me emails, thank you a lot. And thanks to all the comments, i was really considering shutting this down. Now im not. Someone close to me told me that they think ive recently been writing for the wrong reasons, and i agree. i need to go back to my normal writing. i dont really know what that is, but ill figure it out.

As for the future, im not gonna be shutting this blog down any time soon. and when i do, ill be sure to tell u why. im not gonna leave u hanging.

its over

im done. blogs closed.

quick update

well im going home tomorrow. cant fucking wait. i really needed a break. me and my room mate were getting sick of eachother. whatevs. 3 weeks will do me good. so us good.

so im gonna jack off soon so ill talk to u later.

pros and cons

I got a lovely email from Biki a little while back. She talked about my situation with Tyler and asked me what was the worse thing that would happen if I asked him out. It really got me thinking. What is the worse thing? So I'm gonna weigh the pros and cons and you guys get to comment with your thoughts. Sound good?

Pros
-get a boyfriend
-have sex for the first time in 4 years
-if the bf thing doesn't work out, maybe get a good friend
-see what it feels like to have someone love me as much as I love them.

Cons
-he says no

ok well anyone else have any? Had a hard time thinking of cons. There really is only one. He says no. Really kinda helps the whole "just ask him out" argument.

Thanksgiving

So thanksgiving break was good. Got home home wednesday and had lunch with some friends. Hung out with Aaron for a while. Went to his house and got dinner. He looked really good. Cute as fuck.

Thursday was thanksgiving and me and the family went to my grandparents house. My grandpa was being a dick and my mom was getting pissed so when we were leaving she told my brother and sister and I to take a good look around the house because it was going to be the last time we ever see it. My dad thought it was funny as shit.

Friday was the big party day. Me and all my friends went to dinner. There was about 8 of us. After dinner we went to my house where we played beer pong for a while. It wasnt as good as the last party. We were suppose to wake up and go out to breakfast but everyone left at like 2 in the morning. I didnt really give a shit.

Saturday I worked on my paper for history class. Got it done in about 3 hours so it wasnt that bad. Then I hung out with friends again. Spent about 70$ on food thanks to some "herb" we smoked. It was the highest id ever been.

SUnday i packed and had breakfast with the family and was back at school by 4.

So overall it was pretty fun. One major thing i noticed was my feelings for aaron. They came back. Whenever I was with him I just wanted to kiss him and hold him and tell him i love him. I thought about him a lot. But the minute i got back to school, i didnt care anymore. This moment is the first time ive thought about him since. But the whole thing scares me.

Bored in class

Things are different this week. Weird kid to my left talked tome today. Something about him being sick and missing all of last week. Too bad for him, he missed some important shit. Looks like the chubby kid in the front got a haircut. Makes his face look more fat. Kid directly behind him looks high. Probably smoked to make this class more bareable. Kid a few rows in front of me is named Tyler. He's probably gay. Almost every Tyler I know is gay. Just noticed the kid to my left has an ear ring. He's got a dumb face. Probably doesn't know a lot. The girl behind him looks more dressed up today. Normally it looks like she just woke up, but today it looks like she spent a while making herself look better. Probably for a boy.

Ok well I'll update u on my thanksgiving break soon.

Hmmm

This class is too fucking long. Tick tock tick tock. Fuck me. My throat is killing me. Derp derp derp. So how am I suppose to approach this Tyler situation? Can I just ask him out? I mean my plan was to just go up to him one night after were hanging out at ethans and ask him if he was interested in seeing a movie or getting some food. Sounds good right? But I'm afraid he will say no. Maybe he'll aks me out. No. I can't wait for that. I need to take action. If I want somethingbad enough, I have to go out and get it.

So last night I was extra horny so I got a banana and....well....u get he idea. It was fun and I came a lot. Good times.
So I'm going home today for thanksgiving. Should be fun.

Not to pleased about the lack of comments as of late. Fix it.

i wasnt gone long

i cant stop thinking about tyler. i didnt see him yesterday. he didnt show up, and i didnt ask why. It seems like every night before bed i just imagine me and him together. walking in the mall, swimming at the pool, sitting on the couch watching tv. its like this virus inside of me that wont go away, and i dont want it to. But i do want the real thing. i want to feel his soft lips and run my fingers across his soft little butt. god hes so fucking adorable.

so yeah, as u can see i didnt stay away long. i thought a lot about it yesterday and my problem was that i felt like i HAD to make a post even when i didnt have anything to say. So from now on, im only gonna post when i have something i wanna say. Much like today.

ok thats it. oh and i went to bestbuy today, and the cashier was this really cute gay guy. How could i tell he was gay? I could just tell.

confession

so i have something to confess. Im sick of blogworld. ive been finding it extremely difficult to write a good post. Its like, i dunno, im just in a funk. so im gonna tell u whats happening in the next few days and then i probably wont post for a while. Sorry.

Ok so im probably going to see tyler tomorrow. some little football party. im kinda nervous and excited. it should be fun. Next week is thanksgiving and school is closed for a few days. All my old friends and I are getting together and having a party. Gonna be fun.

thats really it for now. so ill talk to u when i talk to u.

bored as balls

1. Name? (screen name is fine)
Dan

2. Are you a boy or girl?
boy

3. How old are you?
18

4. Are you straight, gay, bi or unsure
gay

5. Whats your favorite color?
red

6. Whats your favorite food?
thats a hard one. Ummmm hot dogs i think.

7. If you could choose only one type of food for the rest of you life, what type would it be? (ex. Italian, chinese, french, etc.)
american

8. How tall are you?
little over 6 feet

9. Hair color?
black

10. Whats your favorite movie?
the shawshank redemption

11. Favorite book?
where the red fern grows

12. Favorite tv show?
breaking bad

13. What are your hobbies?
jerking off, driving my car, watching tv, playing xbox, hanging with friends.

14. What is the #1 thing that grosses you out?
spiders.

15. Are you a virgin?
nope

16. If no, how far have you gone? (list both with boys and girls)
i put my p in a girls v

17. Are you athletic? What sports?
quite. Football and basketball.

18. For guys: How big are you? (you know what I mean... lol) Are you cut or uncut?
almost 7 inches cut

19. For girls: Whats your bra size?
ewww

20. Are you happy with your size?
always could be bigger

21. Do you like, tolerate or get disgusted when you see an attractive person of the opposite sex?
i could care less. a good looking person is a good looking person.

22. What do you want to do with your life?
no idea.

23. Do you masturbate? how many times a day?
yes. 2 times a day for the past 10 years

24. Do you have a "special" toy? (again you all know what I mean... lol)
nope

25. Have you ever broken a bone or had another serious injury or sickness? Explain.
nope.

26. What do you think is your most attractive feature?
my hair, right mirrorboy?

27. What do you think is your least attractive feature?
my thighs

28. If there is one thing in your life you could change, what would that be?
id like more money

29. Are you in a relationship? explain a little (boy, girl, short term, long term, etc)
nope. im planning on asking a boy out at some point.

30. When was the last time you got some sexual action? (of any type)
damn. um 4 years ago.

31. Mac or PC?
mac

32. Iphone, Blackberry, other PDA, or regular cell phone?
regular cell phone. but i do have a ipod touch

33. Do you have any pets? Which ones?
dog. hes a little guy who i miss.

34. For gay and bi guys: Are you a top or bottom?
top

35. Whats the one thing in your life you are most proud of?
my care free attitude

36. Where is the weirdest place you masturbated or had sex?
the capital building

37. Most number of times you came in a day?
6

38. What are you most afraid of?
spiders

39. Favorite porn star?
keith connors as of tight now.

40. Do you have a blog? What is it?

your reading it

good night

tonight was a good night.

Started out today by going out with a friend to get his tattoo. While we were waiting there, this really cute guy was getting a tattoo on his chest and he had to take his shirt off and omg he was soooo yummy. hahaha. it was hard not to stare. Then, one of my friends parents was in town and they took me 3 of us out to dinner. WHile we were there we had this really cute waiter. Jake was his name. He was really cute. Couldnt help but stare at him too. Then we went back to my friends dorm and then went to a party. I had a few "drinks" and im a bit tipsy right now. Im trying real hard to write normally.

So anyway, this whole tyler thing is weird. Like whenever i think of him, i get this feeling in my stomach. its the same feeing i used to get whenever i thought about aaron. But i dont feel like that anymore about aaron. Now, its tyler. So i think i like him more than i think.

Idk, i felt like i should post more often, and i figured why not when i get back from this party. Idk what im really saying right now, but im horny and im gonna go jerk off. Ok bye.

Finally some free time

I'm really sorry about my absence. I've been super busy with school and we are picking classes for next semester and I had to make sure I knew what I needed to take and shit.

So anyway, I'm in my math class and were talking about shit I already know so I'm not paying attention.

Ok so Tyler. We were talking and I kind of hinted at the fact that I liked boys. So I guess he figured it out because he pretty much asked and so I explained the whole thing to him. I told him about Aaron and how I first started to notice feelings about boys in 6th grade. He was really nice about the whole thing. But I never really gotthe feeling he was at all interested. Like, I told him thank you and that I hoped to see him back home, and his responce was "glad I could help". He didn't even acknolage the fact that I wanted to get together with him at home.
So the whole conversation kinda changed my mind about him. Like, id love to date him and all, and I'd love to be his boyfriend, but right now, I'm not gonna worry about it. My new plan is to talk to him every now and again, and then when summer hits, I'm gonna ask him out. Then, if he says yes, we'll have all summer to "get to know eachother".

He did tell me I should just come out and tell everyone, and everyday I feel like I should just do it. So it looks like soon, I'm gonna be coming out to everyone. Who knows.

Ok that's it. I shouldn't be as busy after tomorrow, so look for me on msn. Ok. Adios.

sorry folks

so im really sorry i havent posted anything about tyler yet. I really didnt want to leave u guys hanging. but this weekend was super busy. So i just wanted to let u know im still alive and all is well. ill post all about the tyler thing soon. I promise.

so a little bit of info to wet your whistles. I dont know how i feel about him anymore.

=)

i did it

i told him.

progress

im making some serious progress with tyler. im about 2 emails away from telling him. im kinda nervous, but excited also.

So i found out yesterday that my ex girlfriend knows im gay. Shes dating one of my best friends and he told her. I was pissed at first but like, i dont really care right now.

Well since nothings eally going on, i thought id do one of these to pass the time. enjoy

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
my hair, then i brush my teeth, then i wash my body.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
black

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
in a heartbeat

4. Do you plan outfits every day?
nope

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
pretty awesome.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
my phone, my ipod, my boxers

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
i was eating a lot of pudding and i threw up on my sister(i hate pudding)

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
not yet

9. What are you craving right now?
coffee

10. Do you floss?
nope

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
gross

12. Are you emotional?
not on the outside, but i feel things on the inside

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
why would i?

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
when i want to eat it fast, i bite. when i want it to last, i lick.

15. Do you like your hair?
very much so

16. Do you like yourself?
yep. im kick ass. =)

17. Would you go out to eat with George Bush?
i would eat with anyone, as long as they pay

18. What are you listening to right now?
with a little help from my friends by the beatles

19. Are your parents strict?
nope. they're laid back and fun

20. Would you go sky diving?
nope. im afraid of heights.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
no way

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
nope

23. Do you rent movies often?
not really, but i have netflix.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
a birthday ballon

25. How many countries have you visited?
none. only the U.S.A. id like to go to england australia france and germany.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
tons of them.

27. Ever been on a train?
just last friday

28. Brown or white eggs?
white

29. Do you have a cell-phone?
who doesnt?

30. Do you use chap stick?
never really needed too. my lips never get chapped

31. Do you own a gun?
no but my dad does

32. Can you use chop sticks?
i try all the time

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
my room mates

34. Are you too forgiving?
very much so

35. Ever been in love?
once.....

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
no clue.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
yep. delicious

38. Last time you cried?
a while ago. it was after i watched a sad movie. Schindlers list i think

39. What was the last question you asked?
where did u put the peanutbutter?

40. Favorite time of the year?
spring.

41. Do you have any tattoos?
not yet.

42. Are you sarcastic?
extremely

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
bits and pieces. not bad.

44.Ever walked into a wall?
many times.

45. Favorite color?
red

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
hell yea. my brother, my friends. many people

47. Is your hair curly?
nope. it can get wavey

48. What was the last CD you bought?
some steely dan cd.

49. Do looks matter?
very much so. its the first thing u see about a person. but personality is more important in the long run.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
doubt it. its just so bad.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
no clue. parents pay for it

52. Do you like your life right now?
i do. life is easy.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
nope

54. Can you handle the truth?
always

55. Do you have good vision?
its not horrible. i need glasses to se far away but i dont wear them often

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
o yeah. without a doubt.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
not often. i text a lot tho.

58. The last person you held hands with?
aaron

59. What are you wearing?
jeans, tshirt, hoodie

60.What is your favorite animal?
moose. not sure why

61. Where was your default picture taken at?
outerspace

62. Can you hula hoop?
for a little while

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
dinner

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
all the time. back i the day i would sneak out and do crazy shit

ok well ill keep ya posted on the tyler thing.

plan

thanks to everyone for their comments. it seems like everyone is saying the same thing. So im gonna tell him, and heres how.....

im not gonna tell him in person because, as my illustration shows....

......we are miles aways from each other. im at college here, and hes at college back home. So yesterday, i sent him an email saying that hed have to tell me about the mormon thing someother time. So last night i checked my email and he replied with the story, along with an apology about being busy. I havnt responded yet.

So the plan is to continue our conversation. Im gonna ask him how he feels about this gay thing or that gay thing, all the time lightly hinting at the fact that im gay. And after a little bit of this, if he hasnt figured it out by then, im gonna tell him.

pretty ingenious i know.

ok thanks again for the comments on the last post. And about the one post no one saw, it was asking for help, but i figured it out pretty soon after i posted it.

p.s. i dont have tylers phone number. people think i do but i dont. =)

A little more help

sorry for the long absence. I went home for the weekend and i was really busy.

ok so to catch u guys up....

If you'll remember from one of my previous posts, when Tyler came to visit he was talking to me about laviticus. So sometime last week i came across this...

So i sent it too him. He thought it was funny and wanted me to go home so he could tell me about how he bitched some homophobic guy out. I told him i was going home and that we should get together. He didnt respond directly to me asked one of our friends if we all wanted to get lunch on saturday. i of corse said yes. So later that night, i get a text from our friend saying that lunch was cancelled. i was dissapointed. Also, i didnt hear about any of this once from tyler. So i didnt see him once this weekend.

So ive talked to a few people about the whole thing and they all tell me i should just tell him im gay already and see what happens. But idk. its easier said that done. But like, what do i have to be afraid of? hes gay. so he cant be like, ewww. But its scary.

so as u can see, im confused and i would love some advice from all my readers. Any thoughts?

i have a monster headache so im gonna go lay down. laterz.

something big

so the weekend went well. Megan and luke came on friday. we ate good food and just chilled out. Tyler came on saturday and we did a bunch of fun shit. went to the mall, went out to eat. we went to ihop for breakfast on sunday, and he actually ate more than me. i was surprised because hes really small. it was nuts. it was a really fun weekend. he even used my pillow and blanket when he slept. it felt like me and tyler were becoming better friends. There was this one time we were at the mall and i see this extremely cute boy, and i look aver at tyler and hes staring at him too. it was just funny how we were both looking at him for the same reason, but everyone knows hes gay and everyone thinks im straight. I tried leaving him hints and flirting as much as i could, but who knows.

there was a moment when we were talking about some bible shit and he was making fun of laviticus and how it was a sin to eat shellfish or something. then, waaaaayyyy later that night, he brought it back up and was like "dan, u know what else is in laviticus? how its an abomination for a man to sleep with another man" and i was "really? thats stupid"

i thought it was a bit odd how he only told me this, no one else. curious.

i feel differently about tyler. like, i really like him and im pretty sure i have a huge crush on him. but at the same time, it feels like i dont. i was thinking a lot about it today, and i think its because i knows hes gay. like i fell head over heels in love with aaron, and i wasnt sure if he was gay or straight. not knowing was part of the allure. but with tyler i know, and its like, do i like him cause of who he is personally, or do i like him just because hes gay? thats a good question, and one i havnt been able to answer yet. i was gonna think about it last night, but i fell asleep, so maybe tonight. i know what i feel in the pit of my stomach is something big.

The new Tyler situation

So it looks like Tyler is comin to visit this weekend. I figured I'd fill u in on all the little details about the whole thing.

Ok so there's my good friend and room mate Ethan. We've known eachother since 4th grade but this past summer is when we starte hanging out more and we became pretty goodfriends. Now when I strted hanging ou. With him, I got integrate into his friend group.

His friends
Tyler is a really good friend of ethans. They go to the gym together and is normally over when I go over. Tylers also the boy I've got a crush on, for those of u who don't remember.
Megan is another really good friend of ethans and even a better friend to Tyler. She's pretty awesome and I'm pretty sure has a crush on me. What can I say, I am pretty irresistable.
Luke is another friend who I actually knew before this whole thong. We were in th same math class in 10th grade. He's really good friends with Megan and Ethan, and kinda with Tyler.

So the three of them are coming to visit ethan, but ill be there.

So i guess im just gonna try to flirt as much as i can. this post was suppose to go somewhere but it kinda fizzled out. i wrote it in history class, and i forgot what i was going for.

ok, well ill let u know whats going on soon.

sorry

i was so bored in class yesterday so i doodled. heres the end result.

(click to make bigger)

so yeah sorry about the last post. i was kinda stressed about my whole history exam(i gotta B+) and idk i was tired of the low amounts of comments. I understand that people are busy and stuff, but if i write about shit and no one comments, it feels like no one cares. Whateves dont pay any attention to my confusingness.

so on another note, ive been thinking a lot about tyler. not sure why, but i just really wanna be his bf. haha its weird cause i havent seen him in like almost 2 months. who knows, maybe im just lonely.

ok well just a quick update. later.

a tad pissed

so i guess no one wants to see pictures of me. 2 of my 62 follers commented, which really makes me feel good. thanks folks.

for the 2 that did comment, thank you. maybe ill send u a pic.

i had shit to post about, but i dont feel like it anymore.

he smelled soooo good

I had a pretty good weekend. Aaron came and visited on Sunday for a while. Right when he got here, I gave him a huge hug. He smelled soooooo good. I missed it. So I took him on a tour of campus and then we went out to dinner. It was nice. We talked about college and shit. He asked if I was getting any ass. It was good to see a familiar face.

On Monday I had this huge history exam. I studied like a mother fucker, but it was still pretty tough. I think I get it back today, so fingers crossed.

I remember people telling me how fun college is, but it takes time to adjust. I really had no problem adjusting. College is great. I love everything about it. I'm the type of person who does what needs to be done. If I need to go to class, I'll go with no problem. If I need to write a paper, I'll do it no problem. That probably my favorite thing about me. If there's a task at hand, I'm gonna do it.

theres this blog i just stumbled upon and im loving it. i read it all day yesterday. Thoughts of a Gay Boy in Highschool is the blog, and its run by tyler. its a really great blog and i love it.

also, my friend sent me a bunch of pictures he took while we were at his lake house over the summer. some good pics of me. i was thinking for my one year blogging anniversary, which is slowly creeping up, i might post a pic or 2 of myself. nothing to crazy, but a nice pic of me.

ok well im out. hope u enjoyed.

100 facts about me

100 posts mean 100 facts. i hope u like.

1. my favorite word is fuck.

2. i have a dog named max, and i miss him more than my family.

3. if i dont get a successful job, ive considered turning to a life of crime.

4. i have a thing for feet.

5. i used to be deathly afraid of spiders, but not anymore.

6. i love hot dogs.

7. ive cried at a lot of movies, but i wont admit it.

8. my dick is a solid 6.7 inches.

9. whenever im in the room of a cute boy, i smell there boxers =)

10. ive been in love once.

11. i jacked off in all my friends houses.

12. i hate sausage on my pizza.

13. my favorite color is red.

14. im not good with managing my money.

15. i went through an asian faze in 7th grade. didnt last long.

16. im not really into reading.

17. football is the greatest sport ever to grace the planet earth.

18. im an athiest.

19. i really wish i was born in 1915 so i could have fought in world war 2.

20. ive never been on an airplane.

21. i hate people who dont watch where their going.

22. i hate carrots.

23. if i were to have a son, id name him derrick.

24. i used to eat a lot of ramen noodles, but not anymore.

25. i love raspberry pie.

26. i like the bacon cheese burger at outback steak house. its my favorite restaurant.

27. im 25% italian, 25%polish, and 50% irish.

28. in porn, i like it when boys moan. its a turn on.

29. ive never broken a bone. some might say im an 'iron man'........

30. i like to smoke weed every now and again.

31. depending on where i get them, i usually eat french fries plane.

32. all my friends from home, i kinda never want to see them again. i wanna move on.

33. i hate people who dont use common sense.

34. i look good in a bathing suit.

35. when i see a cute boy, the 3 things i look at are 1) face/hair, 2) legs, 3) butt.

36. i hate beards on guys.

37. i love the rain.

38. i whistle a lot.

39. i rather be cold than hot.

40. things that are fried taste good.

41. i only wear black socks, cause i find them sexy.

42. i dont really like partys, cause every one is just stupid, but i go, and i always end up having fun.

43. my phone is red.

44. when theres a thunderstorm, i like to sit in my garage with the door open and just watch and listen to the rain.

45. i bite my nails. not because im nervous, i just like my nails even at all times.

46. i like tap water over purified water. purified water tastes like grossness.

47. back at home, when i saw a spider in my room i would sleep in our library.

48. my xbox 360 is red.

49. ive had 2 girlfriends. kelsey and lauren.

50. i ate an entire pizza a week ago. i was so hungry, it didnt matter how bad i felt afterward.

51. i work out 3-4 times a week.

52. i wear glasses to see far away. helps in class.

53. ive jerked off to mitch hewer a billion times.

54. if someone near me throws up, im likely to throw up. i dont do vomit.

55. 55 is my favorite number.

56. ive done sexual things with 2 guys. blowjobs and handjobs.

57. i dont really like horror movies.

58. right now, my hair keeps falling in my eyes and its making them itch.

59. i shave my pubes every now and again. not completely, just to make them look nice.

60. hair color doesnt matter much to me. as long as it complements the face.

61. ive been told i have a big ego.

62. i dont like having people sitting behind me in class. i need to see everyone.

63. im a picky eater.

64. im a sucker for a guy with blue eyes.

65. i like vanilla ice cream over chocolate.

66. i regret 2 things in my life. the whole aaron incident, and quitting the football team.

67. i lost my virginity when i was 14. it was with my girl friend lauren. (never told anyone that before).

68. i used to work for some landscaping company. i liked it. made my hands blister tho.

69. i 69ed with my best friend a long time ago. it was awesome. we arnt that great of friends anymore.

70. i used to fuck my pillows.

71. i really want to go to new orleans and try the cray fish.

72. i think one of my room mates is gay.

73. i shower before i go to bed.

74. i dont like the idea of riming a guys ass. just seems gross.

75. i hit a deer with my car once. no damage luckily.

76. i love it when movies have a little clip after the credits. its a nice little surprise.

77. every morning when i wake up, i have a raging boner and have to piss really bad.

78. i dont do well in awkward situations. i tend to laugh really hard, almost to the point of tears.

79. when i was a kid i wanted to be a mailman.

80. in my life time, ive probably only read 5 or 6 books.

81. i hate it when gay guys are called queens.

82. i try to jack off at least once a day.

83. im picky about everything.

84. i always like to sit in clear view of the exits. u never know when shits gonna hit the fan.

85. i took a quiz to see if i was over aaron. it said i had officially moved on.

86. the western whopper at burger king was the best fast food burger i have ever had. to bad they got rid of it.

87. i have a lot of scars. one from biking, one from football practice, one from baseball and a tons more.

88. ive been in one physical fight before. it was with aaron.

89. im extremely competitive

90. i stole 20 dollars from my friend once. he didnt even notice it was gone.

91. i dont like to sleep in complete silence. i need a fan on.

92. i hate mashed potatoes

93. ive lived in 3 houses. all in the same town

94. my mom and dad call me D

95. i used to sleep with a blanket

96. i hate facebook

97. i really wish a zombie apocalypse would happen.

98. ive never been on an airplane

99. i dont like vegetables

100. im awesome

ok there ya go folks. hope u enjoy. comment!

Coming out

I'm in my history class again, and I've been thinking a lot about the subject of coming out. More specificsly, my own coming out.

As most of u know, I came out to my best friends a while ago. It was hard but i'm glad I did it. Anyway, I was thinking a lot about it and there are a few things I wish I would have done earlier.

I wish I had come out earlier. Like in 9th grade. Waiting until a week before college starts was not what I wanted. I would have been able to maybe find a boyfriend and I would know who my real friends would be. I also wish I would have accepted the fact that I was gay. I shouldn't have wasted 6th years of trying to pretend I was something I wasn't.

Life is just to confusing. There's that saying that you only live once and that you should just do it so u don't regret not doing it. I agree, but there's another side to it. You only live once, so don't do something to make the rest of your life shitty and miserable.

This is a lame post. I hate it. Whatevs, I'm close to 100 so stand by.

Bored randomness

Well here I am in my bore fuck history class. Get ready for more randomness.

I met this boy yesterday. Didn't get a name but we shared some small talk. He's gorgeous. He's like the popular kid who's friends with everyone. He's so nice and calm about things. We talked at breakfast this morning. He has an earing in his left ear. He's just so....."pretty".
It's hard to explain. He might very possibly be gay. Like 80% of the boys living in my dorm are gay and guess what, he lives in my dorm.

I woke up with a throbbing boner again this morning. It was like mad at me. So I gave it what it wanted. It seems like mondays and Wednesdays are my big ass boner days.

It's really cold outside and I guess that means the school likes to crank up the fucking heat. It's like a fuck sauna in this son of a bitch. UGH!

I havnt been home in a month. That's the longest I've ever been away from home. Do I miss it? Not really. But I do miss my car. I love driving and it's been a while. I'm going home next weekend and I'm pretty excited to go driving.

I'm way to picky. I can always find a fault in people. I'm to judgemental. I need to be more open minded. But that's a hard thing to do. It's just something I do naturally. Can someone just rewire the way they think? I dint think so. The only person I've ever found to be absolutly perfect is Aaron. And I know all of u are gonna be like "no ones perfect". That may be true for you, but Aaron was perfect in every single way. And that's kinda what i'm talking about. To me, he was perfect. And I think deep down, I'm looking for someone like him. Someone perfect. That's why I'm having so much trouble finding someone. I need to come to terms with the fact that I probably will never find anyone like him. Just something I'm gonna need to work on, or I'll just end up chasing after something that isn't there.

I've been avoiding the fact for a long time, but I really miss Aaron. Everytime he pops in my head I just ignore it, but it's there. I miss him. I miss the way he smiles, the way he smells, the way he feels. I even miss the way he pisses me off. Fuck

I shouldn't have started thinking about him. Now I'm all depressed.
I'll talk to u guys later.

It's true what they say too. Only love can break your heart.

Bored

I'm in my history class right now. I'm bored out of my skull. We don't do shit in this fuck class. I'm really starting to rethink my major here also. History is starting to seem more and more pointless. Whatevs.

I was reading something online yesterday about jerking off. It said that people who jerk off a lot are so in love with themselves that they don't make relationships with others. I think I might fall into that catagory.

Haha I'm making funny faces at people. They must think I'm crazy. Fuck em haha. My tummy hurts. I wish I didn't eat that sausage for breakfast.

This class has no cute boys in it. It sucks. I have nothing to stare at.

Jesus fuck Christ in bored as shit. My I pod has this auto spell check thing that makes sure I capitalize words that should be capitalized. Normally I wouldn't be this gramatically correct. Capitalizing Jesus and Christ? Not something I'd do.

It finally rained yesterday. It had been like a month. It was very welcome. It's actually raining right now.

I had such a huge boner this morning. It was throbbing. I waited till I was alone and then I jerked it. It felt so good.

OMG class just got let out. That never happens. Class ends at 950 and he let us out at 930. That's unbelievable. Now what am I suppose to do. I have a class at 1000 and it's literaly right next door. I have half an hour to burn. I'll just go to my other class.

Well I got to my other class and it was just me and this girl. She asked to see my notes from Friday and of course i said yes. I like to maintain a level of kindness.

Alright that's it I'm done. Hope u enjoyed this extremely random post. I'm closing in on 100!

no time

its so hard to find time to make a post. im so busy, and theres always people in my dorm room. I was lucky to be free this time.

anyway, ive been thinking a lot about aaron the last few days. and I dont miss him, im just daydreaming about me fucking the shit out of him. and it always gets me 'aroused'. Hes the fantasy that can make me cum faster than anything else in the world. its nuts. there will be times when i just cant jerk off, and then ill think of him and boom, im done.

and the boy from the lunch room. he was sitting really close to some blond girl and they got up and left in a hurry. fuck him.

ok thats it for now. i have class in 20 mins so i g2g. thanks for all the awesome comments on my last post. My 100th is comin up soon!

IM STILL ALIVE!

Wow. has it really been a week?

Yeah, a week sounds right. Ive been CRAZY busy with college and shit. Classes during the week, party's during the weekend. its a busy life. I finally have some time today to post tho. So get ready for a long read.

Classes are pretty good. I have a really easy math class, and two pretty good history classes. My major is history, because i just love all that cool shit about how the world became what it is today. i especially like american history because America is just kick ass. haha im very patriotic. I also have this awesome history of rock and roll music class. its pretty kick ass. Rock and roll music is my favorite.

I live in a pretty sweet dorm. I live in a quad, which is 4 people, me and my room mate in one room, and my 2 other room mates in another room, and then one big ass living room. its pretty sweet. and my room mates are all kick ass. My dorm is the dorm where most of the fine arts people live, which means all the theater and musical performance kids. So lots and lots of gays. some pretty good looking ones too. My RA(resident advisor, every floor has one) is really cute too. hes not gay, but hes cute none the less.

im still in the closet here at college. not sure when im gonna come out. right now i just wanna get fully adjusted to life here first. ive only been here 3 weeks. maybe in a little while. i did talk to one of my friends from back home who does know im gay last night. we like talked about it for the first time since i told everyone. it was kinda weird but it felt good to talk to someone.

also went to the football game yesterday. it was bad ass. we won. a lot of douche bags all around me tho. but also a lot of cuties.

ok story time. I was in my rock and roll history class and i was early, so i picked a pretty awesome seat with like this brick wall behind it so i could lean back. so im sitting there, and this really cute boy comes and sits next to me. it was weird because its a big ass class and there were like 200 seats left. so he starts talking to me, about the class and how he just joined and if he missed anything last week. It was pretty awesome, because he had this look to him. he wasnt that tall, he had semi long blond hair, and he had a black lip ring. he was like a cross between surfer boy and emo. totally hot. it got me thinking. how does he make out with someone if hes got that lip ring in? anyway, next time i went to class, he was nowhere to be seen. he vanished.

Also, theres this boy, who i always see at lunch. hes almost always sitting alone. hes one of those quite kids. he wheres like a nice jacket and one of those backpacks that have one strap and they hang to one side. anyway, hes really cute. i wanna invite him over to eat with us one day, but it would be awkward and weird.

Well i think thats it. sorry about the long absence. ill post more often, promise. Also, my 100th post is coming up soon. any ideas on what i should do? ill probably end up doing what everyone does, the 100 facts about me. but if someone suggests something better, i might do that instead.

ok ive got some homework to do. later.

ideas?

so my comments have been slowly dropping, and i understand why. my posts have been boring. i need something to blog about. i need advice on what to write about. i dont wanna keep writing this boring shit that no one likes. i need more excitement.

ok well thats it. my tummy hurts and i need to use the bathroom. this dorm food is killing me.

o god. im out

cute boy central

so yea no worries. im still gay. and boy have i been seeing the cute ones. damn.

so yea classes started today. i had math. easy as shit. i hate math a lot and im bad at it, but i took an easy class and it seems like its going to be pretty good. nothin good looking in there tho. But i was taking a shower, and i hadnt jacked off in like 3 days, so i was trying really hard to. but i couldnt. i was using everything in my imagination. i had 3 different fantasies where i fucked the shit out of tyler, but nothing worked. so i went to my reserve fantasies, my ones with aaron just to see if it would work, and within 20 seconds i was done. its like, just the idea of us having sex drives me wild. not sure if thats a good thing.

ive also been thinking about when i should tell everyone up here im gay. its like im coming out all over again. idk, ill have to think about it.

home for the weekend

so im back home for the weekend. its weird because it doesnt really feel like my home anymore, cause all my stuffs away at college.

so last week was just did a bunch of stupid 'getting to know people your rarely going to see' activities. didnt really go to a lot of it. did go to some parties and had some fun there. but ive noticed something. i dont really feel gay anymore. like, i didnt jack off once while i was gone. and all the guys i see i dont really think much about them at all. but the girls are catching my eye. its really weird. also, im having a hard time understanding my appetite. like im never hungry or stuffed, but i can always eat. and while im eating, i cant tell when im full. idk. who knows. i walked around and found all my classes. they're all pretty close so thats good. ummmm saw some other people from my highschool and talked with them. yea overall its been pretty fun. i hope classes arnt really gay.

and sorry about my last few posts. they kinda have been pretty bad lately. ill try to spruce them up a bit.

ok im off. ill be on msn tonight if anyone wants to talk. later

college

so im here at college. all un packed and everything. apparently, me and my friend/room mate were not told that we have a quad, which is a room with 4 people, not just 2. So at first we were like, wtf, but after meeting our room mates, we couldnt be happier. they're awesome. another interesting fact, our dorm is the arts and sciences dorm, meaning there are a lot gays. haha. so yea. i did see this really cute boy at the food court place. i was pleased.

ok quick update for ya. bye

love triangle?

ok so before i get to the love triangle explanation, some other things first.

So my really good friend james who left for college 2 weeks ago came home on saturday. it was good to see him. we hung out for a good long while, and saw inglourious basterds. It was my fourth time =) But i did notice something. James was kinda acting differently, like he was some bad ass or something. and he kept talking about how he was hooking up with all these 'chicks' in college. idk he seemed different.

so on to this love triangle. So yesterday, a bunch of people went to see inglourious basterds, me being one of them, and tyler also being one of them. he had never seen it, and it was my fifth time(still amazing). i didnt sit by him, but he did fall asleep, which pissed me off a little, cause the movie is fantastic. but he has a weird taste in movies. idk. so for some of the movie i was like thinking reason why he would be a bad boyfriend, and then thinking of reasons that would make him a good boyfriend. haha it was kinda fun. in the end tho i think hed be a good boyfriend. So anyway, with us at the movie was this girl, Dylan, who i only met like 2 weeks ago and is a really good friend with tyler. shes awesome and i wish i had met her sooner, but i think she likes me. she sat next to me at the movie, and after the movie we went to erics house, she sat next to me there to, and her feet were like almost touching me. and then after we all left at 2 in the morning, we texted for like 30 minutes about music and gameshows. haha. i really like her as a friend, but i mean, im gay. so it doesnt really work. (she doesnt know btw)

so yea she likes me, i like tyler, and tyler is best friends with her. so its kinda a love triangle. idk haha.

wel thats it for me. im off to college tomorrow and i gotta pack all day. fun.

well, sure

well the movie was fantastic. its even better the third time. but no tyler. he couldnt go for some stupid reason. had to re-organize his room or somethin. idk.

So yesterday i went college shopping with my 3 friends who are all going to the same college as me. ones actually my room mate. i didnt buy anything, but i had a lot of fun. then latter last night i hooked up with a really old friend and we went to some kids house and 4 of us played beer pong. i was killing it. it was just amazing how well i was playing. And after a while, people started taking their clothes off and i saw some nice bodies. =) woke up at like 9, an hour before everyone, and just daydreamed. had a good little thought about making out with aaron when he was drunk that one night. had a good one with tyler where i show up where he works and hes behind the counter and i say "hey babe" and lean over the counter and we kiss. i like that one a lot cause its like were boyfriends hehe =)

so im not sure about my current mood and why im so happy. its nice tho. think i might see if tyler wants to go out to dinner or somethin. we'll see.


and before i go, i just wanted to send a special thanks to Planetx_123, or steve, at Lions, Tigers, and Science... oh my! he always gives really great advise and his comments are always very well written and just really good. so thanks steve!

return of tyler?

so after my depressing day on tuesday, i woke up on wednesday and i didnt feel much better. i got up at 830 and went to one of my friends house to see him off to college. he was one of my closest friends, and it was no fun saying goodbye. then, once he left, i went to another really close friends house and saw him off too. two of my best friends gone in the same day. it sucked big time. once he was gone, i met the only other friends i have left at the mall and we walked around and bought some lunch. i was there but not really there, if that makes sense. so i came home and got in bed and just stared at the celling. aaron kept popping in my head, and i didnt like that at all. i miss him a lot.
i thought a lot about shit. i even thought about shutting down my blog, and i was really considering it. it was just no good. then, after a while, i fell asleep. i woke up about an our later, and then hoped in the shower. as i was washing my hair i looked down at my chest and i saw this like strand of shampoo running down and it reminded me of blood. and it really got me thinking about life, and how its not worth it to just waste life on feeling depressed and feeling sad. and it made me feel.....much better. i also realized that theres no way i can just stop this blog. i love writing in it to much. and i love all my followers and commenters. so thats not gonna happen.
So i got out of the shower and went and got some dinner and just enjoyed it. i wasnt upset anymore. i was happy. it was kinda weird.

so at about 700 i got a text from my friend eric and he told me there was this movie party thing going on at his house and i should show up at 8. of corse i wanted to go, so i did. i got there and and we waited for everyone to arrive, and who shows up? tyler. i was kinda pleasantly surprised. so he cam over and sat down next to me on the couch. he wasnt like next next, but he was on the same couch. so we talked a while and when everyone showed up we started the movie. we watched trainspotting. it was pretty good. so after the movie we just talked a while and people slowly started leaving, and it ended up just be me, tyler and eric. we talked for a long time. i definatly feel like me and tyler and getting to know each other better. and i think, maybe, he likes me. idk. it was good to get aaron out of my head, and tyler always seems to do a good job of doing that. but he was talking about how he hadnt been sexually active in a long time, which kinda made me feel.....weird. idk. i didnt like thinking of him getting more action than me. whatevs. so he left at like 3 in the morning and i left soon after. The three of us made plans to get dinner and see a movie tonight. so im excited. were seeing inglorious basterds. itll be the third time seeing it for me. its soooooooo good.

anyway, sorry for the long post. its kinda a weird one. o well. thanks for reading.

depressed

im rarely depressed. like almost never. but right now, im feeling really down. like, all my friends are either gone or busy getting ready to go. im just stuck at home, doing nothing, and counting down the days. it sucks. so earlier i was just so sick of being at home, that i jumped in my moms car and just drove. i rolled all the windows down, picked my depressing song playlist on my ipod, and drove. i went around to all the houses of my friends who had left. it was just....blah. i stopped and got some ice cream, and went down by the river and just sat there for a good while. i thought a lot. about friends, about next year, about my parents, and even about tyler. idk. this really sucks.

heres some songs i like when im depressed.

im gonna go to bed. sleep this thing off.

quick update

so im in a hurry so i have to make this quick.

aaron left tuesday and i missed him, so i called him up. we ended up talking about tyler for a long time. it was kinda weird at first, cause i mean, talking to the boy i loved for 4 years about other guys just felt odd. but after a while it was easy. he said it was really stupid to start something with only 10 days left, and i agreed. then i talked to another friend about the whole thing and he said the same thing.

so i didnt ask him out. but, i am gonna talk to him. next time i get the chance, im gonna tell him im gay and that i would have liked to go out on a date, but time kinda fucked it up. that way, maybe next summer we can go out. idk.

ok thats it. later.

worth it?

so i just got back from up north. i had a really fun time. we did a bunch of shit. but while i was up there i did a lot of thinking about tyler. and i kept coming to the same question. is it worth it? is it worth asking him out even tho i have 11 days left in town? is 11 days enough to start a relationship?

so i begging you all. PLEASE give your most honest opinion. Im really into this boy, and i dont want to like fuck it up or whatevs. so please, let me know.

tyler

ok so heres what happened. i was gonna hang out with my two friends and tyler again to watch a movie. but when i got there, there were more people. there was like 7 of us. so it was more tylers friends than mine, and he wasnt the same. he was just being kind of a douche. and it really made me upset. but everytime i would look over at him, would just be like, who cares? idk it was weird. so we hung out for a long time and we all ended up outside sitting in a circle and like talking. at one point, tyler brought up the show queer as folk, and i was like, ive seen that. and we talked about it for a while. he said he thought charlie hunnam was cute and i kinda just nodded when i should have said yes he is. so then everyone decided to go and i said my goodbyes and tyler was looking at me like he was expecting me to say something or like he was gonna say somethin to me. but nothin happened. i went home and the minute i got there i started to regret not asking him out. fuck.

i really like him, even if he can be a douche. and really, who isnt a douche when their with friends.

im gonna ask him out. I SWEAR!!!! i might call him while im up here. but before i do it, i wanna figure out exactly what im gonna say, so would anyone like to help with that? im gonna write something and u folks can help me fine tune it. if anyone is interested, let me know.

ok im off. later

todays the day

well todays the day ill be hanging out with tyler. not sure whats gonna happen. like, thinking about it now, im really confident and im sure im gonna ask him out. but when the time actually comes, i know im gonna be really fucking nervous. like, ill be shaking. but i need to do this. i need, if not a boyfriend, at least a gay friend who i can talk about boys with. haha. shit im nervous just thinking about it.

so went to that party last night. it was small and we really didnt do much, but i had fun. got home at around 2 in the morning and went on a nice little bike ride. i love it. everyones asleep and its just u and the night air. i highly recommend. so i got home at like 240 and just laid on my driveway in complete darkness for like 20 mins. i thought a lot about shit. i thought about how i was gonna ask tyler, what im gonna say to aaron when we say our goodbyes. just a lot of shit. and it was nice. i might do it again tonight, depends on what tyler says.

ok i gotta do shit with the fam. later

realization

so went to a baseball game tonight with some friends. had a fun time. its really kinda amazing that none of them care that im gay. like, wtf. ahah. there was this really cute guy there too. he was like 17, and just amazingly cute. but i did realize something. im really just done with all my friends. like, im so ready for college. im just sick off all the same jokes and all the same stories. its kinda hard to explain. i just want to start over. i want a boyfriend too. really bad. and who knows, maybe ill get one.

so aaron leaves on tuesday, and i leave for a friends lake house on monday, so ill have to say my goodbyes on sunday. im gonna write him a card and give him a kiss on the cheek. im gonna really miss him. weve grown as friends since i was honest with him.

well this was a nice short post. think im going to some party tonight. dont worry tho, im gonna pass on the beer. im getting sick of it.

boyfriend?

ok so the other night, went to a friends to watch a movie. there were 4 of us, tyler being one. so the movie ended at like midnight and we were all leaving and on the way to the cars i called over to tyler. i was like "hey tyler, can i talk to u for a sec" and he walked over and was like "yeah?" so im like "i was just wondering if u like, wanted to go get some dinner sometime or maybe go see a movie?" and he looked at me in a weird way and was like "like........on a date?" and im like "...yeah...." and he like, looks around for a second and then asks "are u busy right now?" I felt a smile creep on my face and i respond "not at all" so hes like "wanna get some food?" and of corse i said yes. so we get in my car and we go to taco bell. it was kinda like awkward, but once we got to taco bell and got food, we parked in some parking lot and it got pretty normal. we talked a lot. about life and gay stuff. haha. so weve been talking for an hour and im working up the courage to ask him to come over. (i know, im a whore) so im finally like "so u wanna come over?" and he smiles and say "id love to" so i smile and he starts like leaning in toward me, and im like hell yea, im getting a kiss. so i start to lean toward him and our lips touch, and fireworks. it had been so long since i have kissed someone. so we made out for a while, and then it starts to heat up, and we decide to go to my house. so we sneak in and go to my room, where the making out continues. were like feeling eachother up and stuff, and hw starts pulling my shorts down. im rock hard. and he starts sucking me off. o man, it felt amazing. it had been forever. so hes sucking me off and i want to dick too, so i like pull him in the middle of the bed and like move his dick over my face and get him naked, so we could 69. we did that for a while, and then he stops, gets up, goes over to his wallet, and takes out a condom. haha. he says "i want u to fuck me" so i obviously say yes, and he puts the condom on. it took a few mins to get it in his ass, but once it was in, it was party time. So he was riding me at first, and then i flip him on his back and put his legs on my shoulders. o man, it was amazing. after i blew my load, i pulled out and sucked him off. we cleaned up and cuddled together in bed before falling asleep. we slept in really late and then we got up and went to lunch at like 2. we talked about us and the night before and college. it was really nice. then i took him to his car and he went home. it was the best night ever.

and to think it all could have actually happened if tyler didnt have to work wednesday night. thats right, the little story above never happened. haha im sooo sorry but i had to. i have been fantasizing about me and tyler for a long time and i wanted to write it down. pretty good tho if i do say so myself. haha.

so tyler had work, but we are getting together sunday to watch a movie. thats when im gonna ask him out. sorry again.

=)

the whole story

ok so im out. dont feel much different. idk its weird. like, i told them, but know what seems to give a shit. they treat me the exact same way. We all fucking went downtown yesterday like nothing. idk.

So we were all at my house for like this last party before everyone goes off to college. We played a shit load of beer pong and aaron got wasted. haha i snuck in a nice kiss on his cheek and he thanked me. we were all pretty buzzed. aaron wanted to talk to me so we went into my room and he asked if i was going to tell everyone. i was like idk. then he said that he thought my two other friends jon and richard already thought i was. i was kinda freaked out. and i told him i was going to. so we all decided to get in a big circle and like reflect on our friendships and all some shit, and we all agreed to be completely honest. so we were talking and they asked me who i had had a crush on, and i was like "since were being honest, i might as well tell you all that im gay" and they were like ".....ok....so who did u like?" and i was surprised cause i thought they would be more shocked. so i was like "...uh....aaron". they said "ok." then we moved on like nothing ever happened.

so the next day after they all left, i was like wtf. no one fucking cares. no one even brought it up again. then i started wondering if they all forgot about it. idk. its like wtf. and im scared to bring it up again. whatevs.

some of u asked if tyler was there, and i feel like i should remind all of you that i barely know tyler. all my friends barely know tyler. i just know him from another friend. so no, he doesnt know. but i am seeing him tonight, and i think im just gonna go for it and ask him out. maybe to dinner or a movie, or both. idk. this is new for me.

and im tired of seeing all this obama bashing by some people *cough AJ cough* i mean im not a democrat or a republican, but i think hes doing the best he can. considering all the shit he inherited. Im not into politics at all, but i do think we need to ease up off obamas back. hes our president ffs. he has a hard ass job. i just dont think its fair for us to be saying shit about him when hes working hard for our country, whether what hes doing is bad or good.

idk just wanted to get that out. aj, please dont get mad. i love u no matter what u say.

later

plugs and big news

some new bloggers out there. please stop by.

A Black Closet Case- Nice guy and a nice blog. Havent talked to him yet, but anyone who emails me has to be cool, right?

Tick, Tick, Boom- nother gay boy from australia. I love me a good aussie. go check him out to.

in other news, i came out to all my friends. yeah i know kinda nuts. more on that later. im tired as fuck.

fuck

well i hung out with some friends last night, and tyler was one of them. but me being me, i fucking wimped out. fuck i hate myself. its like when im alone, all i want to do is tell him and to fucking be with him, but when im actually with him, i stall. ugh.

so it was me and 2 other friends and he came over, and at first it was kinda awkward. like idk. but it got me thinking. hes gay. im gay. i read gay blogs. maybe he does too. and if he does, then maybe hes come across mine. it kinda got me really nervous.
But after a while of playing monopoly, things got normal. we had a great time. At some point he was like "i smell degree deodorant" and im like "i wear degree" and he was like "thats what my ex boyfriend used to wear." haha that made me happy. so we got some food and drove around. we even sat really close on the couch. And he was wearing shorts and his legs just looked soooo yummy. And when i got home, i was in the shower and i was thinking about him, and i involuntarily licked my lips. haha. im falling pretty hard here. kinda scary. Like, porn doesnt even interest me anymore. i cant fucking jack off. its been like 3 days, which is really long for me. fuck.

i mean shit, i BARELY FUCKING KNOW HIM!!!! how can i be sooo hung up on this one boy? and i just cant see myself just up and asking him out. if i knew him better sure, but i mean.....idk. probably just one of my lame excuses.

and another thing. if i was to ask him out, i would more than likely have to come out of the closet. and idk if im ready for that yet. fuck i should be. fuck im such a pussy. idk. life is sooooo fucking hard. fuck fuck fuck.

o well. ill figure it out. and tyler, if u do read this, lemme know. PLEASE!!!! call me or something. eric has my number. text me and say "strange weather isnt it?" that will be our code.

haha if that works, i will be soooo happy.

ok well sorry for that. my mind is not with me tonight. im lost in love.

wonderful

wonderful. thats how i feel. well id like a better word to describe how i feel, but i cant think of one. maybe its because its 2 in the morning.

So i got home from a friends house at midnight and it was a really nice night. So i figured id go out on a nice bike ride. So i got on my bike and started biking. It was so calm and nice. I just sorted out the shit in my head. I thought about next year and college and shit. I thought about the shit i needed and if i was prepared. And of corse, I thought about tyler.......a lot. Before i left on my bike ride i read some of the comments on my last post. So on my ride, i sorted through those.

Yes, im out. But to only 1 person(and his dad). Its not the same as being out to everyone. So im not "falling in love at the drop of a hat" with tyler. im not falling in love with him at all. I just have a legit crush.

I'm suppose to hang out with him tonight and I'm really gonna try to at least get his phone number. I really do want to see how far we can take things. I really like him.

I have this feeling deep down that I haven't felt in 4 years. I feel free.

its never good when.....

......you cant stop thinking about someone. im seriously crushing hard on tyler. it worries me a bit. He was in my dream last night. he was naked. thats all i remember. =)

and the weird thing about this whole 'me trying to fuck tyler' situation is that i barely fucking know him. i know his name and that hes gay, but thats it. how is it possible to have a crush on someone from only being around them during 2 different occasions. i mean fuck! i havent really even had a conversation with him. fuck. i just think it would be weird for me to all of a sudden ask him out. plus, the first date would be totally awkward. AND, were leaving for school in less than a month, and if i start something, i dont want it to only last 20 days.

idk. i just dont fucking know about it. why is this shit so hard.

problems with operation fuck tyler

so i was thinking about it last night, this whole tyler thing. And well, i really barely know him. How can I go from barely knowing him to fucking his brains out? i mean yea theres a one night stand or a fuck buddy, but i really dont think he would be into that. and i dont think i would either. i want to get to know somebody before i become intimate. So please people, i need advice. im stuck here, and if anyone has anything that could help, i would be grateful.

this whole tyler thing is amazing tho. like, i havent had a crush on a boy in a loooooong time. i really wouldnt call my thing with aaron a crush. i didnt have a crush on him, i was in love with him. and the last 4 years ive been in love with him, and now, finally, i can finally think about another boy for a while. its really nice. this tyler thing is really just.....fantastic. i cant stop thinking about him. i just cant say it enough. like, its soooooooo good to not think about aaron. god its nuts. fuck.

i have a crush. on a boy named tyler.



FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god im sooooo happy right now.

Operation fuck Tyler

Operation fuck Tyler is in effect!!!

As of right now, I'm doing everything in my power to get in tylers pants. I'm just gonna go for this one. I figure I deserve some ass before I go off to college. I mean I'm cute, he's cute, I'm gay, he's gay. It's perfect.

I'm on my iPod touch so this is gonna be it. Wish me luck on my quest for tylers bubble butt!

so theres this boy....

his name is tyler. and um....i like him. i like him a lot. =)

ok first some info. my friend eric is friends with tyler. and tyler is gay and out and no one cares. so i rarely ever see tyler, cause hes not really my friend. But occasionally when im at erics, tyler will be there. and then we share some small talk. and after some time, ive kinda developed a crush on him.

So yesterday, i was at erics with two other firends and we decided to go downtown, and tyler was gonna meet us there. so we went and met tyler. after a while of walking around, we got bored and we decided to go back to his house, where i had never been. So we got there and met his parents and the 5 of us sat by his fire pit and just talked. it was fantastic. theres something about having a gay and out boy sitting right there with you and no one caring. like he would occasionally say shit like hes cute and stuff like that, and i really just wanted to say omg he is soooo cute. but of corse i didnt. so i did try to like throw some hints his way, cause being gay, hes gotta have a good gaydar right?

haha anyway, i think i might be hanging out with them again tonight so figures crossed. who knows, maybe ill tell him my little secret. ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT!!!!!!!

so today is Matts Birthday!!!!! yayayayayaya happy birthday. The big 19. so heres a little something for ya.



haha get it? cause your 19? pretty lame i know. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

heres a cute boy too

we've known eachother for a long time now, and i really do consider u one of my best friends. If it wernt for u, i have no idea what mess id be in right now. id probably be some whore somewhere on the streets. haha. but seriously, thanks for all you do for me. love u lots.

aaron

so i saw aaron for the first time since he got back yesterday. we was gone for a week and got back sunday, but was busy until yesterday. he came over and we went out to get some food. it was nice and i had a lot of fun.  At one point, my phone rang and the ringtone was a kelly clarkson song, and he was like, "wow, u really are gay"  which caused us to start laughing.  i dont like kelly clarkson, its just what my friend wanted to ring whenever he called me.

But toward the end of last week, when he had been gone for like 5 days, it started to get really hard. i started really missing him. it was really tough. and it got me really worried about college. am i gonna make it? i know its gonna be really really hard, and im worried.

also, not sure if anyones heard of it, but when u drive over railroad tracks, if u put your legs and feet in the air and make a wish, it comes true. So like 3 days ago, for the first time in 4 years, i didnt make a wish. i didnt wish for aaron to fall in love with me. its nuts to think about. for 4 years, ive been wishing for him to fall in love with me. its crazy.

well whatevs. i need to mow the lawn. bye.

answers

ok heres the answers to the questions you guys asked. enjoy

1. What color eyes ands hair do you have? brown eyes and brown hair

2. What is your height and weight? im 6 feet tall and weigh 165

3. how would you describe your skin color? white but ive got a good tan going

4. Do you have any identifying marks on you? none

5. Do you have any other scars and would you share how you got them? i have a few. one on my left elbow from tackling drills at football practice. one on my ankle from my bike. and one long ass scar on my right leg from running into a friends deck while playing football.

6. Is your six pack visible to others? its a 4 pack and yes, visible. but not like, way visible.

7. What do others think is your best physical aspect? my humor?

8. What do you think your best physical aspect is? my hair (mboy thinks so)

9. Do you have dimples, if so how many? none

10. Do you have freckles? a few on my face. barely visible.

11. How is your tan line looking? not bad. i dont take my shirt off very often but you know....idk.....its ok

12. Ever been out of the country? nope

13. In the next ten years what do you want to have? boyfriend or marriage or something

14. What is your favorite thing to do with Aaron and why? just be alone with him. we could do anything but if its just the two of us, i love it

15. Who at school would Dan give up Aaron to date if he could date any boy at school and why?this boy ryan. omg hes gorgeous. and a smokin body. sweet jesus.

16. What does Dan want to do when he grows up? not really sure yet

17. what does Dan want to study at college? history

18. What thing or activity, do you enjoying doing or participating more than anything else in your

life? playing football and basketball with friends

19. What is your favorite band, and why? steely dan. i just love them.

20. What is your favorite cd or record, and why? id have to say rumors by fleetwood mac

21. What song do you sing in the shower? whatevers on the brain

22. What is your favorite food? maybe shrimp. or steak. or ribs. hmmm

23. What is your favorite ice cream? Vanilla

24. Who is your favorite actor? morgan freeman

25. Who is the cutest actor? mitch hewer. hands down

26. Been skinny dipping?; yes. a long time ago

27. Best place been to in life and why?; tampa florida. just cause.

28. Worst place you have been to in life and why?; ummm nowhere...

29. Place you want to visit and why?; tampa florida

30. Worst experience you have had in life?; what recently happened with aaron

31. Best experience you have had in life?; no idea

32. What was the worst Dan has been drunk before? not bad really.

33. Has Dan ever been arrested? never.

34. What is your favorite type of clothes you like to wear? ones that look good

35. Do you prefer to wear boxer, briefs or do you go commando? boxers

36. Favorite item of clothing you own and why? the shirt aaron got me

37. What clothing do you sleep or in, if any? shorts and a tshirt

38. Book you want to read that you haven’t yet? not a big reader...

39. Favorite movie you have seen? the shawshank redemption

40. Movie you want to see that you haven’t yet? ummm midnight cowboy

41. Favorite video game you have played? condemned

42. What is your most prized possession and why? this letter aaron wrote me. it says i love u

43. Do you have a middle name? yes

44. Has Dan broken any bones never

45. Does Dan have a nickname? nope

46. What sports does Dan like? football, basketball, and hocky

47. I know you played football but what other sports did Dan play in high school? only football

48. What is the worst thing Dan has done to anyone else in his life in Dan’s opinion? punched someone in the balls......really hard....

49. Who was the first blogger you emailed? well ive been emailing matt long before we were both bloggers, but the first actual blogger would have to be mirrorboy

50. Who was the first blogger to email you after you began blogging? mirrorboy

51. Who was the first blogger you contacted on MSN? mirrorboy

52. What has been the best thing about blogging for you? making friends and like being able to talk about shit

53. Do you like sunsets or sunrises better and why? sunsets just cause. more romantic

54. Do you like staring at the stars at night and why? yes its very relaxing

55. Name two qualities of character you admire in others? kindness and ambition

56. I have read you don’t believe in God and I believe that is a reasonable belief to hold though not one I share, would you like to explain why it is you believe God doesn’t exist? if there is a god, a caring and forgiving god, then we have to figure hes done an extraordinary job of making a very cruel world. The world is fucked up, and what does god do? nothing, cause hes not real. like billy joel once said, "id rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun."

57. What do you want your readers to understand about you from your blog? that im a normal kid who just happens to be gay. something like that. and that im nice. and cute. haha

58. Would you like to adopt children in the future? i want a kid, but i dont want to adopt. it needs to be mine. but that probably wont happen.

59. Height/weight? 6 feet tall and i weigh 165 lbs

60. Best Physical Attribute / Worst Physical attribute? ive been told i have nice hair, and i really dont like my thighs. haha not sure why.

61. Most important physical thing about someone you're interested in? shit thats hard. i guess face. they gotta have a good looking face.

62. Most important non-physical thing about someone...? sense of humor is important to me.

63. Biggest regret in the last few years? i have 2. quitting football, and recording aaron in the shower.

64. Biggest accomplishment in the last few years? um graduating high school

65. What do you want to do in college? GET A BOYFRIEND!!!!

66. Can i play with your hair??(asked by mirrorboy) yes, yes u can

67. Will you marry me? :D(asked by mirrorboy) yes, but only if u play with my hair =)

68. Are you an innie or an outie? innie

69. If you could only bring one thing to a deserted island what would it be? a knife

70. Who is your current celebrity crush? Mitch Hewer. its been him for a loooonnnnggg time.

71. If you had to be an animal what would you be? ummmm a lion. id be the king.

72. If you had to be an inanimate object what would you be? um a tv i guess lol

73. Speaking of animals, pets? Got em? What kind? Names? Breeds? etc etc. ive got a dog. hes a teacup poodle and his name is max

74. Why don't you have a job you lazy bum? because im a lazy bum

75. Favorite party activity? beer pong ftw!

76. Favorite holiday? christmas hands down

77. Favorite Sports Team ;) the tampa bay buccaneers. i live and die by that team.

78. Favorite person ;) well since matt is asking, ill say.....matt

okay, dirty questions.

79. Biggest thing you've had up your ass? :D a banana. felt good after a while. not great, but good.

80. What do you think about while you're jerking off? :D aaron. im trying to stop but he just pops in.

81. What's the weirdest fantasy you've had that you can think of? :D um nothing to weird. strip poker that turns into a blowjob party haha

82. Most important thing you'd look for in a boyfriend? :) hes gotta be the all around perfect boy. Aaron is, but i cant have him. i hope i can find one even half as good as him.

83. Fetishes? :D i have a thing for feet and legs. nothin crazy, i just like the way they look when they're perfect.

84. What do you wear to bed (or not wear :D)? :D tshirt and shorts

85. What position do you sleep in? :D on my tummy but like my knee is out to the side.

86. What do you do in the shower? :D clean myself :D

87. Would you rather suck or be sucked? :D i think im 50/50

88. cock size? 7 inches

89. top, bottom, or vers? top, but maybe once in a while i could bottom.

90. cut/uncut? cut

91. most # of times wanked in a day 7

92. most purvy thing you've done and been caught? recording my best friend showering.

ok thats it. hope u liked it. i hope this gets me more than 2 comments, cause 2 comments sucks.